Elizabeth Scripturient (the delinquent, ecumenical (hermionesviolin) wrote,
Elizabeth Scripturient (the delinquent, ecumenical
hermionesviolin

Ides of March

I got more than 8 hours of sleep last night, but I still didn't wanna get out of bed this morning.  I did get to SCBC on time (though I didn't get to have breakfast).  I got home from CHPC around 2 and ended up lying down for part of the time I was home, though I don't think I really slept.  I went to CWM and Lourey was there, and she asked how I was and I said something like, "I'm alright," and later she asked something like what's been going on in my life, and I said I'd been doing a lot of church and work's been about same-old same-old ... and I hadn't been feeling particularly needful of telling anyone in that moment, but I couldn't talk about how I've been without talking about it (I suppose this is an indicator of how it was affecting me in that moment ... that it literally didn't occur to me to just talk further about all the church I've been doing, for example), so I said, "one of the people I love most is currently in jail," and I explained that that's why the tension, that I'm mostly fine but that's always in the back of my mind.  She double-counted the money with me and we talked through dinner and I opted to keep talking to her rather than stay for Lenten Visioning about stumbling blocks (we went to Diesel, because she felt self-conscious staying and chatting while people were having meetings).  She took the 87 bus home and I got home around 9 and did laundry (powdered detergent... wherefore making solid clumps in my washing machine? I disapprove).  I think getting enough sleep is going to be important for my being able to cope -- and clearly I am not starting the week off well in that respect; sigh.  (Sidebar: I lifted up T+C as a prayer concern, and when Tiffany restated it she said their relationship, which is a valid inference but is my secondary concern at the moment, so I emailed her after I got home, and I explained that one reason I've only been telling people individually as I feel moved is that people get horrified looks on their faces and I don't wanna deal with people's baggage about jail and how traumatic an experience they think it might be.  I was thinking later about someone having been critical of soliciting advice from people because they're gonna be coming from their own experiences and won't really understand your situation, and I remain critical of that stance, but I've been feeling more sympathetic to it recently as I have to provide so much background to adjust people's interpretations.)
Tags: apartment: living
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