Yeah the one who leaves this also grieves thisI told a friend last night that I'm currently in a pissy phase (we both, independently, thought "it's like grieving"). I know that my focus should be on what we're doing going forward, but understanding things is important to me, so when I get thrown something that doesn't fit with the understanding I've developed I get sort of stuck. Later this evening I was feeling more at peace about moving forward -- I think in part because I feel some vague sense of having made it parse. But we'll see. I've been choosing to look at my non-relationships as learning experiences so that when I have a real relationship I'll be better equipped.
Too much rain on a prairie flood plain
Houses floating, love is like that
We built on the river
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"Sin is necessary, but all will be well, and all will be well, and every kind of thing will be well."
-Julian of Norwich, Showings
Five good things about today:
1. I think I'm progressing toward not-sick.
2. mjules, after exchanging cell phone numbers: "OK, any guidelines for cell phone usage? IE, limits on texting, times of day when it's bad to call, etc.?" I was not expecting that at all and was so delighted. Yeah, I'm a big fan of thoroughness and forethought and contingency-planning and all that sort of stuff.
3. At post-CWM fellowship, I sat with Kirk and Liz, so I got to learn/practice/review ASL some.
4. Sean told me I got butch points for helping him move a table :) (I often joke with him about gender roles etc.)
5. I enjoyed the "bitch is the new black" Tina Fey SNL skit. (Nuns!) I also enjoyed the Huckabee sketch.
Three things I did well today:
1. I got up at a reasonable hour.
2. I noticed that our front door mats were covered in de-icing stuff such that wiping your boots on them wasn't really helpful, so I brushed them off and also swept the front porch and the interior stairs.
3. I finished reading Ian's job market paper.
Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:
1. The Sarah Connor Chronicles
2. Being even less sick.
***
I was walking home from evening church at like quarter past eight, and I'm walking along Powderhouse, and I hear this guy call, "Do you need a ride?" and I look across the street, and there's this guy parked in a dark jeep or something and there doesn't appear to be anyone else around whom he might have been talking to, and I say, "No, thanks," and keep walking, trying not to feel too nervous.