She asked what I was seeking energy work for and I said that I've been having mental blocks at work, which is a familiar tendency but is moreso than usual, which is worrisome.
She asked how long it had been going on for, and I said I dunno a few weeks.
She asked if anything had happened around the same time it had started, and I said nothing that I could think of specifically, that my amateur guess was that I'm more emotionally worn out from being concerned about various friends of mine, especially since I've been more concerned about one friend in particular these past few weeks.
Once we started, I just lay there with my eyes closed, breathing. I was really surprised that I was able to just be aware of my breathing and of the black and not have wandering thoughts like I usually do -- I felt almost like that part of me was in some sort of shell or tube, keeping it contained but not uncomfortably so.
She ended up talking a lot, which worked well for me. (She said she usually does very little speaking when doing energy work, but she kept sensing stuff that it seemed like I was supposed to hear. This definitely makes much more sense to me as a way for the Divine to communicate with me than just at an energy level.) She wrote down a lot of the stuff or else she (and I) would have forgotten it. These are transcribed in bullet points after the cut.
She asked me to Affirm, "I Affirm that whatever is blocking my work, I'm willing to let go of it."
I said it, because she asked me to, and then she asked how that made me feel, and I said kinda weird because I don't know what it I that I'm saying I'm willing to let go of. (I hesitate to make statements of promise without knowing what I'm promising.)
She understood sufficiently what I was getting at and assured me that I do not have to give up my friends. (She had earlier said that I needed to have more of a "shell". I was reminded of what Laura Ruth had said about "carrying" people.)
- As I focus on my work, Divine right action is taking place in the lives of my loved ones.
- I know that my loved ones are divinely cared for and protected.
- Powers That Be: Please watch out for my friends -- protect them and provide for them and let them feel your love and my own.
She explained that if you worry too much, you send them the worry, which does make sense to me -- the idea of positive visualization, of not adding to the amount of negative energy (esp. when directing energy at someone). I'm still inclined toward Christian belief in a God who manages all this stuff, and I'm inclined to believe that prayer most changes the pray-er (I'm very ambivalent about whether prayer changes the one prayed for), but even by that logic it still makes sense to not focus on the negative stuff, even if you're praying that it doesn't happen.
I do actually try to pray for positive things ("For safety, for peace, for physical and emotional and mental health/healing, for discernment, for wisdom and courage in making decisions moving forward, that they may feel Your loving presence and may know the love and support of incarnate persons -- family, friends, even coworkers...").
- Sometimes the best thing is to understand that people have their individual karmas to work through and the best thing you can do for them is to witness, non-judgmentally, and love them through it.
- Sometimes when I deal with a mental block, I talk to it like it's a person and ask it what it is trying to tell me -- and then I listen.
- Sometimes I explain to it that I am busy and can't talk to it right now, but I will be happy to set aside 15 minutes later (after work or some such) -- then I choose a time and keep my word. *If something comes up, I explain to said thought form that something came up (again, like it's a person) and then choose another time and stick to it.
- *Sometimes* mental blocks/thought forms just need to be heard and don't require any action other than you listening.
- A lot of fears were put into place to protect us long ago and, once consciously examined, melt away.
- Sometimes it is a matter of inviting your fears to express themselves because you can deal with them [now].
- [Not a reminder] You can know things in your mind and not in your body (have to weed out old fears like a spring cleaning).
And yeah, a lot of the stuff she said was reminders -- was stuff I already knew (and to some extent am already living into)
- Once you start looking at what your old thoughts/feelings are that are affecting you in the present, you might be surprised.
- The thoughts that are affecting you might seem so silly that your unconscious mind dismisses them before they are made conscious and can then be properly dismissed.
- You have to explain to the part of yourself that fears something why it was taught that to being with (sometimes that is necessary for the troubling thoughts to be dismissed) -- and you need to do it consciously because sometimes the process is circumvented if it remains unconscious.
She had been a little worried, because people react differently to energy work and sometimes need time afterward to process but I was going to a 3pm appointment. But when we were done she said she wasn't worried about me at all.
I'm not certain that we actually "worked through" anything, but I think we did, as she said, at least come up with tools to do so.
I recently read a Magpie Girl post "The DO LESS Revolution: Setting Limits," which I mostly dismissed at the time, but which I've been thinking more about recently.
The reality is we are all limited. There are a finite number of hours in the day, and while most of us can ignore that, eventually it catches up to us. We overbook, over commit, and try to ‘do it all.’ Then we crash with exhaustion, ulcers, and little ease or enjoyment in our life.
This limited time thing? It’s not going to change. So I started to ask myself, “What would it look like to turn this “limited time” thing into a Superpower?” I started to imagine a scenario in which my life was not small, but as concentrated—a life where less was powerful. I named this scenario “concentrated living” and began looking for helpful resources.