I had a minor epiphany that one major reason I get avoidant is because I'm a perfectionist. If I don't do it, then I can't do it wrong. This surprises no one. (And yes I recognize how self-defeating it is.)
I hallucinate my cell phone ringing, and when it actually rings it startles me. And it still hasn't been the phone call I'm waiting for. Barring any compelling counter-offers, I think I'm going to Annual Conference on Saturday (mostly to hear Bishop Violet Fisher).
Sara and I were supposed to have celebratory drinks tonight, but she got a stomach bug (has been going around her family), so we rescheduled for Thursday. Roza had invited me over for dinner with her and Chaz for tomorrow night but is having some sort of allergic reaction, so we'll reschedule "Once I am back to as normal as I get."
This getting to go to bed early thing is kind of aces.
-mylittleredgirl [more info]
"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up." --Anne Lamott
Good things about today:
- I have single-serving yogurts and NutriGrain bars at work for times when I'm hungry between meals. I had Indian food (samosas and rice+potatoes) for lunch (I sometimes worry that I'll end up living on the same 2 or 3 lunch options every day during the summer).
- So many things I take for granted. Walking (and taking the subway) to and from work. Near-constant Internet access. My job. Clothes that fit reasonably well and look reasonably nice. My own room. An array of food options, and the ability to acquire more should I so desire.
- Getting to go to bed early.
- I got up with my alarm and ate breakfast at home and brushed my teeth and went to the [gym] 45min treadmill (2.5incline, 4.4mph)
- I gave band-aids to a girl from non-lab with blisters on her feet from new shoes. (I also put a batch in my backpack when I got home to refill my desk.)
- I posted a couple linkdumps.
- I "transcribed" a friend's voicepost.
- I bought cereal (I opened the last box this morning). I also bought milk when I realized I was nearing the end of the current gallon.
- I generously interpreted Matthew 5:43-48, though I think that was mostly God's grace speaking through me.
- I finally replied to PattyS.
- I ran the garbage disposal (though after I'd turned off the water I stood there for a minute wondering why it was still making noise before I remembered I had to flip the switch to actually make it stop *facepalm* ).
["anything that you're looking forward to, that means you're facing tomorrow with joy, not trepidation," as Ari says]
- I got a spreadsheet task right before 5:00 tonight, so that's one tangible thing I can actually do tomorrow.
- And B's supposed to be in the office, so hopefully I can get some stuff signed and get some scheduling stuff taken care of.
- I should be more well-rested.