I'd been thinking earlier today that if this is going to be my Lenten desert experience, I want some sort of Lenten practice -- to intentionally ... I don't know what, but intentionally SOMETHING.
I read more of Radical Ecstasy on the T home, and walking home (again in the mist) I was feeling some of that emptied feeling that I get after like a good cry, and I was thinking maybe doing the right thing I will feel better, it'll just take some time. (Though I am aware that I still miss Terry, so...)
At some of the tantra events we've attended, an announcement is made in the beginning that goes like this: "During some of these practices, you may have feelings that will feel a lot like you're falling in love with your partner. That's because you are -- you're falling in love with the love in the universe, which you're seeing manifested in your partner. When that happens, it's absolutely wonderful. Just accept it for what it is, and don't feel the need to attach anything more to it than what it is right here and now -- nothing about the future, nothing about anything outside this room, just what it is." In SM, a similar truism holds that you always fall in love with your first top.
-Radical Ecstasy, p. 114