So go ahead, push your luck, say what it is you gotta say to me,
We will push on into that mystery,
And it’ll push right back, and there are worse things than that
Cause when you live in a world, well it gets into who you thought you’d be,
And now I laugh at how the world changed me,
I think life chose me after all.
- The Room Draw trauma i care about is recovering nicely. This is really the most important item on my Life Doesn’t Suck list. (I remind you all to be cautious about making wishes aloud. ;) “I think this is gonna be a very big year for vengeance.”)
- Read this “Lies My Parents Told Me” fic.
- sometimes browsing /friendsfriends makes me smile
- Tuesday night Jane came by and told me about how she was happy about the room that she got. Then she started asking me about declaring your major and applying for a summer job and all this stuff. I’m always happy to be helpful, but it definitely made me laugh (in my head) that having lost the SAA position only 2 nights prior i was now being called upon to do that exact kind of thing.
- Wednesday morning Yelena expressed condolences or whatever that i didn’t get the SAA job. I love that though she doesn’t like a whole lot of people, i somehow made it onto her cool list. Anyway, she said she knew i’d end up acting as an unofficial SAA anyway, which i knew.
- Getting back early and getting to meet the first-years early is all cool, but training and responsibility is not so much. Sharing knowledge without feeling like i have to know everything about how everything works is just fine by me. And as i continue to reiterate, English Department Liason = way cooler.
- Wednesday afternoon Stacey asked me what year i am. When i told her i’m a sophomore she asked if i would be returning to “this fine institution” in the fall. I said i probably would actually. She was pleased. She said she knows filing isn’t fun, but she thinks i do a “phenomenal” job and she really appreciates it. She also said something like it makes her feel at home, which i thought was interesting. I love Stacey.
- After Wednesday’s motherfuckingwow episode of Angel i went to Davis for some food and ended up chatting with Britta for a while. I didn’t have any real drama, so i expect that made her happy. And i got to tell her that SweetieGirl has a LiveJournal. :)
i always feel i have to take a stand and there’s always someone on hand to hate me for standing there, i mean i always feel i have to open my mouth and every time i do i offend someone somewhere... you know i can’t apologize for everything i know, and you don’t have to agree with me but once you get me going you better just let me go
- So, i couldn’t make the Bodywise meeting on Monday and we didn’t have our regular meeting on Tuesday. I’m sad that i can’t go to some of the Love Your Body Week events, but i’m also pissed that i haven’t seen like any publicity for it. Anyway, Connie was pissed that no Bodywise people went to the nutrition workshop on Tuesday, so Rosalie and i went to the Thursday one. I feel like we’ve covered this stuff with Connie at meetings, and my Tuesdays/Thursdays are packed, but whatever. It was vegan nuggets (and french fries) and snickerdoodles for lunch, so i grabbed a bunch to go. I’m not sure how, but apparently our budget is shot, so i didn’t know what the food offerings would be, plus, yes, sometimes i’m a big fan of the so unhealthy food.
- There keep being things i intend to go to but don’t, for various reasons.
- Praxis Deadline is April 30!!! Fuck. I’m not going to get an internship. I don’t even want an internship. I want to work part-time at my library with all my wonderful people. I want Smith to give me $4,000 for Oxford and let me use Praxis for sometime when i really actually wanna do an internship – like when it might actually relate to a career for sure. I don’t wanna work 40 hours a week for 6 weeks to pay for the next 6 weeks and then come back and have 2 weeks for myself before coming back to Smith.
Jimmie had an idea it wasn’t common courtesy for a friend to come to one’s house and ruin one’s sister. But he was not sure how much Pete knew about the rules of politeness.
It occurred to him to wonder vaguely, for an instant, if some of the women of his acquaintance had brothers.
- Um, yeah. I can barely even understand that (i so didn't read all of it), nevermind write like that. My brain can do “how a text means what it means” to some extent, but i’m much more on the marginaliana end, thinking “What does the text mean and do i agree or not and why?” (The issue of people reading way too much into a text is a whole nother issue altogether.)
- I take full responsibility for corrupting lilithchilde with my “He needs a Southern boyfriend”
- I had misread Oxford’s billing info. “Bills for the Seminar Program Free will be mailed to students at their college addresses around May 1st and will be due on May 23rd.” This is majorly good, because my two Smith-please-give-me-money apps are due April 11 and 15, so i won’t get a decision for a couple weeks after as they have to look at all the apps, so i was mildly freaking thinking it was a two-payment plan with the first installment due May 1.
- Mudslides (milkshakes with crushed up Oreos mixed in) are far inferior to regular milkshakes.
- The financial aid apps for Smith for Oxford got more complicated since i last looked at them. But i finally finished them. Now all i have to do is print some stuff, photocopy some stuff, see Doug before my 11am class, and i should be all set.
In Women Mystics class on Thursday, Maria talked about Pema Chodrin, a Buddhist monk, who talks about meditation as calming the inner ocean, and how once the ocean is calm, one can see down to the bottom, all the dark stuff from one’s past.
“I tried to fill my void with brownies” - paraphrase of E.Carr in class on Thursday
Michael at the beginning of Thursday’s Am. Lit. class: “I was going to have your papers for you today, but the last 'Banned in the U.S.A.' lecturer* made me go out with him -- until 1am. I’m getting too old for that. I was too old for that when I was your age.”
After class, Joan mentioned that he wasn’t wearing his wedding ring. I had noticed because Jessica mentioned it to me, but Joan is so not obsessed like i am. Either i corrupt people or she’s naturally more observant than i am.
Michael on corsets: “I’ve never worn one. I’m looking forward to the experience.” Could i just die now?
So Michael was talking about Jake (in Adam Cahan’s Yekl) and i was thinking, as i so often do, “You should have a boyfriend,” and it occurred to me that so many of the female characters in “classic” literature (i’m not getting into the literature one doesn’t read in college classes here) are not very fleshed out or interesting, and they are almost always the ones who have agency (power, control, etc. for those of you who aren’t geeks), so of course they’re the characters people are going to talk about, “interact with” so to speak, etc. So since for most of history, the majority of literature has been written by men for a male audience, there’s a certain homoeroticism inherent in the study (and writing) of literature, because the female characters are largely ignored. This is similar to the issue we talked about in WST about how when females in film are presented as objects of the male gaze, female viewers can either identify with the female characters (the objectified party) or identify with the male (thus identifying against themselves). I find the film theory problematic (largely because it assumes that female characters are created as objects of the male gaze, so what about when female characters have agency, and can they have agency within that role of object, and what about lesbian viewers) but in my head the idea about the homoeroticism inherent in a male world (which i think did get touched on in some of the feminist film analyses we read in WST) sounded cool.
At the end of Soc class, Kim reads us Blue Laws. In the state of Kentucky: No woman shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within the state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club.
[edit: One of the laws Kim read was of a state in which oral sex between people of the same sex is illegal but is legal between opposite-sex partners. Numerous states have similar laws, so it seems appropriate to post "Sheep: legal. Gay lover: illegal. Now you know why they call it cattle country."]
* I heart the Internet. [[ Lecture “F.B. Eyes: The Bureau Reads Claude McKay.” William Maxwell, English and African-American studies, University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign. Part of ENG 100: Banned in the U.S.A. Reception follows. 7:30 p.m., Wright Auditorium ]] Yes i do. We could debate the oddness of a white African-American studies professor or we could debate how cute he is. Yes, i am a bad bad girl -- but not in the Magic 8 Ball kinda way.
[Some people get distressed when i don’t post for a while. "Something is rotten in the state of Denmark." Are you happy now? Lengthy, written over a period of time, bulleted lists, professor quotes, song lyrics, snippets from assigned readings, me having inappropriate thoughts about professors; it’s like i never left.]