My mother says i should "find oases of grace and quiet."
I love my mother.
I have no motivation to do any of my work. I don't know what music i want to listen to. I think my brain is tired of background music (something i was never into until a year or two ago) and is revolting.
My mom and Sharon both helped put the Smith shit in perspective from sort of a real world perspective.
A friend i haven't talked to in a while IMed me this morning. "ok, huge saga goin on righ now!" she says. It's serious deja vu from high school. Girls being deceitful and bitchy over a guy. It's so petty. It's refreshing in a way, though. Just as there is real world stuff so much bigger and worse than the stuff here, so there is also stuff in other people's lives that is small and petty. Life goes on outside this bubble. Not everything has to be reflective of broader social evils or anything. (I know, i know, i'm not even gonna start thinking about how women are socialized to center their lives around men or whatever.)
There were Tibetan monks in our house today. They're doing butter sculpture in the Neilson Browsing Room. Perhaps i should have gone. Anyway, as soon as i heard they were doing butter sculpture my first instant thought was Ani's "garden of simple." I told Allison it's scary that i reference just about everything to Ani or Buffy
. She said what's really scary is when Ani starts referencing Buffy
starts referencing Ani. I said yeah, that'll be the day. That would make my day but also be really frightening because they are such different cultural worlds. She said she could see Willow listening to Ani, or Tara.