April 30th, 2002

you think you know...

There were purple M&Ms in my bag.

I noticed last night (because i have the Smith homepage as my homepage) that now there is indeed a website up. Wonder what Mia will have to say about this.

The Jolt says “The Gyutu Monks will be in residence at Smith all week, making a butter sculpture in Neilson Browsing Room every day from 10am to 3pm.” I’m going to go check it out this afternoon.

From a friend:
Regarding drama and college life:
"It's like a game: 'whose crises will put my crises in perspective?'"

I was thinking recently that i’m probably going to have some sort of emotional breakdown in a few years. How long can one go on being a source of support and strength for people? It’s like i’m not allowed to have emotional problems or be too stressed or anything because i have to be there for other people. How has my mother done this for so many years? I am in awe of her strength. I’m not really going to have a breakdown, though; i have wonderful supportive friends and family who are always there for me. Plus i know when i need to take time for myself. I think one of my summer plans, though, is going to be to surround myself with emotionally healthy people.

An online acquaintance (whom i worry about because she is often depressed and otherwise in a bad way) has been dissatisfied with her weight recently and joined this community thinspirational. Just skimming it made me want to vomit, and not because i want to be thinner. I want to vomit; i want to cry. If you want to be healthier, more power to you, but why this fixation on weight. Anorexia, bullemia, all “eating disorders” are the farthest thing from healthy. Anorexia frightens me so much.
you think you know...

"She's been everybody else's girl maybe one day she'll be her own"

So Prof. Millington told us in class today that there’s an English Dept. “picnic” this Monday, at the Field House, from 5-7. Dork that i am i really wanna go. And so i shall. And Joan’s going to try to come. I’m going to drag her.

At lunch today, some people were talking about a friend who is anorexic. (Recurrent themes are weird things, huh?) It makes me so sad that even students at a place like Smith have eating disorders. I know anorexia is often more about control than it is about body image, but it still makes me so sad that Smithies of all people would develop this obsession with fitting into society’s image of the perfect body.

This site is so great. I own the "Start a Revolution --- Stop Hating Your Body" t-shirt. For my birthday this year i am getting this "If the definition of beautiful gets any thinner no one will fit" t-shirt.

Oh, and i would like to state that my mother is one of the bestest people ever. Thank you.

For anyone who didn’t read her comment, one of the reasons she cited for why i won’t really have an emotional breakdown is the fact that i “seem to be developing” a “community of good souls.”

marginaliana added me to her friends list. (Incidentally, it’s weird to read the LJs of Smithies because so many of them are so wonderful and i would love to get to know them better and of course they all must live within 10 minutes of me--during the school year that is--but because it’s the Internet i have this mental block that they exist in some faraway never-shall-we-meet realm. But i digress.) And on her friends page i’m grey writing on black background, which i like so much better than yellow or green on pink, which is what i am on the friends pages of those who color their friends pages (this should make sense to most people who are on livejournal; if you’re confused lemme know and i’ll explain). And the random Amherst boy who had added me to his friends list a while back just because i listed my location as Massachusetts took me off. My world is a saner place now.