May 20th, 2002

you think you know...

"Random Man strikes again."

scattered musings from the past few days...

I hear McDonald's french fries contain beef extract. So much for my at least being able to have french fries when i go to McDonald's.

I learned of the 18th Annual Boston Gay & Lesbian Film/Video Festival on Sunday -- the last day of the festival. Grrr. There's always next year, though, right?

I read She Who Remembers by Linda Lay Shuler, and it felt so much like Jean M. Auel's Clan of the Cave Bear only not nearly as good. I wonder if it's possible to read too much, to have everything feel derivative of everything else. The end of Sharon Green's The Blending series feels so much like the end of Isaac Asimov's Foundation series.

I miss being self-sufficient in many ways. I miss the meal plan, not having to take care of getting food myself, but i also miss doing my own laundry, being in charge of when my stuff gets washed. I liked not having dirty dishes lying around, not having anyone else responsible for what went on in my life, in my space. I think when i get out of college i am moving into an apartment no matter what. Yeah, it'll suck to have to buy all my own food, do all my own cooking, and oh the bill-paying, but even after only a year of being "on my own" it is so weird and in many ways frustrating to be back "at home."

Jury duty. I had been 18 maybe 6 months when i got called to do jury duty. Got it postponed because i was away at school, so at 8am today i was at Dedham Courthouse. Ultimately all the jurors got dismissed. I decided i wanted to walk home, since it's just straight on Washington Street. I thought it was only about 11:30 when we got dismissed, but it was about 1:30 when i got home and MapQuest says it's only about 6 miles. It certainly didn't feel like i'd been walking for 2 hours anyway.

I think i need to make a better Tara icon. And i think i would like a Giles one as well.

I'm coming home with a stone, strapped onto my back.
I'm coming home with a burning hope turning all my blues to black.
I'm looking for a sacred hand to carve into my stone.
A ghost of comfort, angel's breath - to keep this life inside my chest.
This world falls on me with hopes of immortality.
you think you know...

If this is a sub-ject, what is a "ject"?

I was a good-doobie today. I went to the Guild Meeting (scheduled to start at 7:30) at 6:30 with my mom to help set up (the woman who was supposed to help was sick) and then played hostess when she went to get my grandma. (And of course i hung around and was socable. And i got home in time to watch Angel!)

Apparently there's gonna be some meeting in June to discuss the future of the Women's Guild. My grandma said i should go because "You're a member of this church ... and a young woman." I am bad Smithie. My first thought was "queer visibility." Saner thoughts included emphasis on feminine aspect of divine, education about strong women of the Bible. But the Women's Guild seems to basically be an excuse to socialize. They raise money by doing fairs and stuff. I really have no idea what their purpose is. Once i'm in more of a mood to care i'll ask my mom.

athene and laynamarya miss me! *grins* I can't honestly say i miss anyone from college yet, so i won't lie to you ladies, but i do love you both bunches.

Beth is wise once again:
"People try to say it's not possible to be a cynical optimist. But, like, they're not both nouns. The adjective just modifies the noun, it doesn't contradict it."