July 4th, 2002

you think you know...

Another day which was mostly not miserable.

I was uncomfortable when i went to bed last night (around 1am). I was uncomfortable when i woke up this morning (at 7:30 and then again at 8:30). It is this kind of hot and humid weather which makes me think i’m going to get an air-conditioner when i have my own place. Put a fan in my room tonight, though. My room has horrible circulation and the fan is wimpy, but what can ya do? This heat wave is supposed to break tomorrow -- though that means possible storms at fireworks time, which would suck.

Anyway, i spent nearly 12 hours in air-conditioning today. My dad drove me to the library around 9:30 and i was there, reading and socializing until about 1:30 when I was starting to get hungry and headed to my grandma’s. I had leftover pasta salad and fruit salad and other yummies of a light summer lunch. I helped her go through some more of her stuff, and around ten past six my brother arrived, though it took about a half an hour for me to manage to get out of there. I have been living on Raisin Bran, pasta salad, and fruit salad all through this heat wave. I was committed to going to Perks for a sandwich. Then i returned to the library and sat in the reading room, reading, until my dad came to pick me up (around 8:30) and took me and my brother home. Then he took us and my brother’s friend to the Walpole fireworks. It annoys me that they set off fireworks randomly starting at 9:00 even though the display doesn’t really start until 9:30. Anyway, the fireworks were nice. I do like fireworks. And near the end the sprinklers on the edge of the lawn (we were watching from a parking lot, sitting on the grass) came on, which was fun. We played in them after the fireworks finished while we were waiting for the traffic to clear out.

My dad says we gave away Sunrise and Sunset. I am sad. And the book i found on Amazon is probably not it the right one. The book is from the early 80s or earlier because we had it in the early 80s. They were both softcover, though i suppose they may come in hardcover as well. Both my parents suspect they might have been British. I now want to harass everyone we might possibly have given those books to because i want them back.

Angie’s set of “bitch” mix CDs came today. I am somewhat sad that i am leaving for vacation this Saturday, because there are so many mix CDs i wanna make, and i can’t do them before i leave (because i don’t own all the necessary CDs, so i have to invoke the resident deity that is interlibrary loan).

I got to feel overwhelmingly friendful tonight, because at one point i was IMing with three people at once. Hee. (And in total i have IMed with 5 people tonight.)

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Aly IMed me tonight, which was nice because i’ve been so out of touch with her. She asked “how are you?” and i gave something of a list of an answer, as i’m prone to do, and i often think people don’t really want to know, but she said i love how you answer, tho. most people are like "yeah i'm cool" or something. you actually answer the question. *g* which made me happy.

We also discussed the merits of more brutal honesty in the world. I can be fairly brutally honest with total strangers, but with friends, or people whose opinions of me matter to me, or people who seem fragile, i don’t want to hurt their feelings or say the wrong thing or whatever. Honesty is a good thing, though. There are appropriate times to mention certain things, and acerbicism/snarkiness/etc. is only appropriate in certain circumstances, but really, i should trust my friends enough to be honest, right? If our friendship can’t survive that it’s not much of a friendship. But it’s not that easy. And not just because i have inadequacy issues (not that that isn’t a [big?] part of it). It’s a lot because of timing. Certain issues only come up at vulnerable times. So i can’t criticize at said vulnerable time, but at safer times i don’t think of it or it feels inappropriate to bring it up or whatever. Yeah, okay, i’m not so coherent.

There was going to be a part here in which i tried to walk the fine line between venting and being passive-aggressive, but i don’t seem to have the capacity for that right now. I have been working on this entry for over 6 hours. People have been IMing with me this whole time. Sleep? What’s that? Perhaps later i will write a friends-filtered post, but for now i will take the high road and leave all the passive-aggressive-ness off of the net.

I think i am changing my default icon to this “you think you know...” icon. I think i need more icons. I just need to remember which moods/themes it was that i was feeling icon-need for.

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