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burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness
 
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Monday, September 9th, 2002

Time Event
4:27p
People really do like me.
Yesterday i attended services at the Baptist Church on Center Street because i walk by it with some frequency (most every time i go downtown) and thought i should check it out. It was nice. It felt like United [my old church at home] in some ways. The service was nice. The pastor and his wife had just gotten back from 5 months in the UK, so there was a picnic luncheon afterward (big yay, ‘cause the Smith brunch sucked) and his 5 sermon bits were about 5 different worship services they attended. (I’m still getting used to this style of service -- little talking bits throughout the sermon as opposed to one big sermon; the Easter service i went to with Rebecca at the Methodist church last year was the same way.) They have a theme each year, and this year’s theme is “Come to the feast; come to the table,” talking about what gifts they, everyone, can bring to the “table.” Near the end of the service they did the “passing the peace” (“The peace of the Lord be with you.” “And also with you.”) which i liked. A number of people came up to me and introduced themselves, and of course i’m not gonna remember anyone’s names when i go back next Sunday, but that’s okay. And a lot of people, including the pastor’s wife and then later the pastor, actually had real conversations with me, which was particularly nice (feels a bit more welcoming than the generic handshake and “Glad you’re here,” which i also appreciate). The pastor and his wife, their eldest daughter graduated Smith 6 years and took part in the Williams-Mystic Seaport Project which sounds really interesting. You spend a semester on the ocean, studying the ocean from the perspective of 4 different disciplines (history, biology, literature, policy). I’m definitely gonna look into that.

Yesterday i IMed with at least 7 different people over the course of the day. I feel so popular. One of them was a guy i went to junior high with, whom i haven’t talked to in years ‘cause he moved out of town and we weren’t that close. He goes to UMass Amherst and i’ve had his screenname for ages (don’t ask how i randomly acquire information like this) and i finally IMed him and we had a nice chat. I kinda doubt we’ll talk again, but he did seem fairly honestly happy to hear from me, and he hasn’t blocked me, so that’s nice. I still haven’t heard from Joe. I’ve left 4 or 5 messages on AIM since i’ve been back -- just responding to away messages, like i always do. I understand that he’s busy (though i’ve only been able to discern 2 classes so far) and i’m hardly his only friend, but it would be nice to hear from him. I fight between “We’ve never been that close. He’s just ignoring me. He doesn’t really consider me a friend anyway.” and “He’s really busy. You know that. And you know he does value your friendship. This has been reaffirmed numerous times.” (At this point i start remembering actual quotations which totally affirm my specialness and value, while at the same i insist that people’s feelings do change and while he used to value my friendship now he’s moved on and doesn’t care about me.) I need to stop having issues. (Or he needs to just IM me and have a real conversation and i’ll feel much better.)

I interviewed at the Smith Museum of Art Director’s Office this afternoon. It was very chatty, even more so than my interview on Friday for the Reference Assistant position at Neilson. I guess it’s a “get to know the person beyond the resume” kinda thing, but it still takes a little getting used to, though i like it. She basically handed me the job (and actually needs a couple more student workers, if any Smithies are looking). Bruce Sadjak said in an e-mail today, “I hope to complete interviewing today and to make a decision this evening or early tomorrow.” So soon i will either have to choose between the two jobs or tell Ann Johnson i can work for sure.
10:49p
I fucking love people sometimes.
Joan and i went to Pinocchio’s for dinner ‘cause the Smith dinner was less than yum.

Then i came back and there was a message from Sarah in Baldwin, who’s buying my Comparative Education books. We’ve been going back and forth on e-mail for a while, but when i called her back tonight we chatted for a solid 3 hours, about such a variety of stuff. I really love people sometimes.

And during our conversation, Jen (the new house RCA) came by, randomly, and she saw my Buffy poster and said “I love Buffy too,” to which i replied, “I love you.” Sarah said a friend of hers is a big fan of Buffy and has tried to get her into it, but while she does think it’s a very good show she’s just too apathetic to watch any show regularly.

My mom reminded me that i had some Magritte posters on my old wishlist. Yay for being reminded of yet another cool artist.
the posters, if you’re interestedCollapse )

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