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burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness
 
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Monday, September 23rd, 2002

Time Event
4:39a
I have wonderful friends who talk to me for hours when i don’t want to do homework. I eventually got my paper written. I think it’s good, but it’s short. I don’t know how Scott expects 5 pages out of this topic; i was really pushing to make it to a full 3. And who counts a 5-page paper for a third of the term grade? [Yes, this is serious flashbacks of Milton last semester. Which is evil, because i grasp this stuff way better. My paper for November is gonna rawk, though -- “Analyze the depictions of the ‘monstrous’ female, treating at least three mythological females (mortal or immortal) studied in the course....”] Plus, anyone handing it in today only had like 2 weeks. I really do need to stop this procrastination thing, though. It will be the death of me. Even if i cared nothing for my GPA, and of course i do, the frustration and feelings of overwhelmedness which push me to the brink of tears (yes, this has been a recurring thing today) are no good.

Purchased lots of cute little things for my Little Sister and made a sign with crayons because my printer seems to be out of red ink. I am just not up for going all out with this, unfortunately. Layna bequeathed me her Bodywise stuff because she’s just too tired to do it this year. I understand. This semester i will be doing Bodywise and LBTA and the YWCA and maybe Oddballs Poetry and work-study, on top of all of my classes. I am insane. A few days ago i told Joe about all the stuff i’m doing and then i said “But somehow i'll manage, and i won't go insane and it will all be good. (Yes i am delusional. :-))” And he replied:

heh
you are
you always have been
and that's what I love about you
overcommitted to everything
:-)

This semester i seem to be exploring falling in love wholly platonically.

I am going to sleep and then get up and go to my classes and try not to doze off in them and hand in my myth paper. Then i will read Weber and gobble yummy grilled cheeses and go to work, where i will bring my Weber because i have a lot to read in it. At 5 i will come home and finsh Weber as well as doing my readings for mythology (which will be infinitely easier than the Weber). Somewhere in there i will have dinner, and finally i will choose a Yeats poem and spend 2 pages analyzing it. I feel like Britta with this plan.

“it’s a silly time to learn to swim when you start to drown”

Not drowning yet. And i may yet learn to swim despite my debilitating propensity to procrastinate to the max.

I am now more tired than any emotion, but i wanted to post the below quotes (to be blamed on Joe and sarrin respectively) anyway.


"Neighbors bring food with death and flowers with sickness and little things in between. Boo was our neighbor. He gave us two soap dolls, a broken watch and chain, a pair of good-luck pennies, and our lives. But neighbors give in return. We never put back into the tree what we took out of it: we had given him nothing, and it made me sad."
-Scout in To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee


So they said it was the year of the woman
I believe it was the year of sex
Maybe this’ll be the year of the human
Maybe that would be a bit complex for
All these endless aberrations
From meaningful expectations and
I will stay with you tonight in
Case this corset gets too tight and
I will keep you company cause
That’s what a sister should be
-Rachael Sage, “Sistersong”
4:39a
I have wonderful friends who talk to me for hours when i don’t want to do homework. I eventually got my paper written. I think it’s good, but it’s short. I don’t know how Scott expects 5 pages out of this topic; i was really pushing to make it to a full 3. And who counts a 5-page paper for a third of the term grade? [Yes, this is serious flashbacks of Milton last semester. Which is evil, because i grasp this stuff way better. My paper for November is gonna rawk, though -- “Analyze the depictions of the ‘monstrous’ female, treating at least three mythological females (mortal or immortal) studied in the course....”] Plus, anyone handing it in today only had like 2 weeks. I really do need to stop this procrastination thing, though. It will be the death of me. Even if i cared nothing for my GPA, and of course i do, the frustration and feelings of overwhelmedness which push me to the brink of tears (yes, this has been a recurring) are no good.

Purchased lots of cute little things for my Little Sister and made a sign with crayons because my printer seems to be out of red ink. I am just not up for going all out with this, unfortunately. Layna bequeathed me her Bodywise stuff because she’s just too tired to do it this year. I understand. This semester i will be doing Bodywise and LBTA and the YWCA and maybe Oddballs Poetry and work-study, on top of all of my classes. I am insane. A few days ago i told Joe about all the stuff i’m doing and then i said “But somehow i'll manage, and i won't go insane and it will all be good. (Yes i am delusional. :-))” And he replied:

heh
you are
you always have been
and that's what I love about you
overcommitted to everything
:-)

This semester i seem to be exploring falling in love wholly platonically.

I am going to sleep and then get up and go to my classes and try not to doze off in them and hand in my myth paper. Then i will read Weber and gobble yummy grilled cheeses and go to work, where i will bring my Weber because i have a lot to read in it. At 5 i will come home and finsh Weber as well as doing my readings for mythology (which will be infinitely easier than the Weber). Somewhere in there i will have dinner, and finally i will choose a Yeats poem and spend 2 pages analyzing it. I feel like Britta with this plan.

“it’s a silly time to learn to swim when you start to drown”

Not drowning yet. And i may yet learn to swim despite my debilitating propensity to procrastinate to the max.

I am now more tired than any other emotion, but i wanted to post the below quotes (to be blamed on Joe and sarrin respectively) anyway.


"Neighbors bring food with death and flowers with sickness and little things in between. Boo was our neighbor. He gave us two soap dolls, a broken watch and chain, a pair of good-luck pennies, and our lives. But neighbors give in return. We never put back into the tree what we took out of it: we had given him nothing, and it made me sad."
-Scout in To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee


So they said it was the year of the woman
I believe it was the year of sex
Maybe this’ll be the year of the human
Maybe that would be a bit complex for
All these endless aberrations
From meaningful expectations and
I will stay with you tonight in
Case this corset gets too tight and
I will keep you company cause
That’s what a sister should be
-Rachael Sage, “Sistersong”
6:35p
So yesterday i defragged my harddrive. The day before i installed Smith's virus scanner. And now today my computer hates me even more than it has this past week. What is up? So i'm gonna turn it off and let it rest while i read Weber and Appolodorus amd i'll write my Yeats paper longhand and if my computer's still really spazzy i'll borrow someone else's. Oh, and i'll remember to do my Little Sister thing.

I was actually useful at work. I have a project now. Cleaning out the past year files. (And yes, we recycle, thank all that is good and holy.) Yay for usefulness.

New Buffy starts tomorrow!

And i leave for Fall Break in 18 days.
10:27p
Huzzah!
WordPerfect works! Hopefully my computer has recovered from whatever was troubling it earlier.

Now just to b.s. another paper. Blah. Want sleep. 4 more days.

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