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burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness
 
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Sunday, September 29th, 2002

Time Event
5:05p
"what kind of paradise am i looking for? i've got everything i want and still i want more"
I have little problem doing the boatloads of reading for all my classes, but i have no motivation to do any of the research or paperwriting. This is seriously problematic.

I feel off and empty somehow, but i don’t know what i want. This is of course dissatisfying and unhelpful. My horoscopes seem to recommend hugs. see?Collapse )

But i find this one the most helpful of any of them.

Sunday, September 29, 2002

The Moon is in Cancer all day today. Cancer is Latin for “crab,” a creature that lives within its hard outer shell. Our homes are like the crab’s shell, affording us protection from the tidal changes that we deal with in the outer world. At home, we are supposed to be safe. When the Moon is in Cancer, we create shells around our emotions, especially if we feel vulnerable. Emotions can deepen now, but don’t necessarily make it up to the surface. Avoid brooding. Stay emotionally in touch with your family and loved ones.

Current Mood: searching...
6:50p
from “As I Walked Out One Evening” by W. H. Auden
“O look, look in the mirror,
O look in your distress;
Life remains a blessing
Although you cannot bless.

“O stand, stand at the window
As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
With your crooked heart.”
7:19p
"The secret to being boring is to reveal everything." -Voltaire
My mommy suggested "For Real" by Bob Franke as one of the best songs ever. She also perfectly articulated why it’s so hard for me to get motivated to do this work as well as why it is so important that i do so.

Meredith IMed me tonight (go look at her new layout) and i cracked up when she saw my Spike icon and said “Oh! Spike! Hello Spike!”

Shortly i will be heading out to find the LBTA space and make myself useful. I hear there’s a movie, too. :)

Then i will return and write a Soc paper, or not.
9:38p
"love lasts forever, forever and for real..."
Aw, my friend Jonah is so cute. My away message was "painting banners and stuff at LBTA. leave me some love." so he IMed me: "Elizabeth, you're the best! Love, Jonah"

We watched But I'm A Cheerleader, which was fun. I ended up not really helping out much, but everyone said that was okay. And we're meeting again on Wednesday, so maybe i'll be helpful then. I now have a really cool 1997 Smith College LBA t-shirt. Someone found a bunch of them in a box. I think we should rename the LBTA "True Directions." *wink* Some people were looking through a national dierctory of LBTA type organizations trying to come up with a cool new name. We're already using PRISM for Queer Women of Color. We could use Spectrum. HUGS (Helping Unite Gays and Straights) is really cute but of course not sufficiently inclusive.

as if we didn't already knowCollapse )

Oh, and Meredith decided she hated her journal layout (i was a fan, but it's her journal of course) so no one should look at it until she says so.

Current Mood: improved

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