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burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness
 
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Wednesday, April 9th, 2003

Time Event
12:33a
white world is blinding
I woke up a quarter of an hour before my first class -- the one i’m auditing. I considered not going, but i did. I feel like i should have skipped my next class (Language Acquisition), though, because it was boring and i didn’t understand it and i fell asleep. My hair was gross and ugly, so i took a quick shower after lunch and felt better. One of my acquiescences to shallow girldom is my hair. Not that i ever do anything super with it (‘cause i’m lazy) but it is important for it to look good -- this consists essentially of being clean and combed. [And as i go to post this i notice the time and it occurs to me that one reason i never get enough sleep is that i'm addicted to writing long LiveJournal entries and other nonproductive uses of my time like stalking.]

It worries me when people get so drunk that the following day they don’t remember some of what they did. Angst makes me sad. I am glad that i don’t have any angst myself right now. Sweet and cute is good. My people love me. One of the lovely things about e-mailing half my known world about my going to Oxford (a 6-week summer program, for those who have just started reading my journal) is that friends from high school i haven’t talked to in ages e-mail or IM with warm wishes. Also, i miss being in the loop when i get late memos like “I took the semester off.” I don’t miss high school people (and i’m not talking about you obviously, since i still actually stay in touch with you) but my inner stalker still wants to be up on everything that’s going on.

I posted about all the sunday100 “end of the world” drabbles i liked, so go and read them.

They FINALLY updated Smith’s searchable online catalog (Tuesday 08 April 2003 since 23 January 2003). Very little info on the Russian Fairy Tales class i wanna take, but no prereq is listed (despite its being a 300-level course). I e-mailed the professor just to be sure. I actually have room to take a 5-College class, but there’s nothing that interests me (except a Neruda course at Amherst that won’t fit in my schedule). Perhaps i will get a second job. Or maybe i’ll just actually get enough sleep. I am tired and nearing feeling overwhelmed by work so i am entirely ready for the semester to just stop now. I don’t particularly enjoy any of my classes (except Michael’s, because i adore him even when i don’t) and i’m not sure how excited i am about my classes for next semester. (The class that most excites me is Russian Fairy Tales. How weird am i?) I used to think i would love to be a perpetual student, but right now i’m feeling like there’s nothing that interests me to study (except various topics to tackle on my own) and i am so done with all the schoolwork that i just wanna be out in the real world. And i’m only a sophomore. This does not bode well.

The GLBTQQA Student/Staff/Faculty tea was nice. I suck at the mingling thing, but there was lots of good food, and i got to stand around and listen to people have conversations. I would like to see this happen again next year with more of a purpose, but that’s partly because i’m not so big with the socializing. I was talking with Allie and Amanda and Allie said she doesn’t need a support group and Amanda said the whole name change thing annoyed her (Smith’s LBTA changed its name because of various issues surrounding inclusivity and such) because there are so many more important things to be focusing energy on. That got me thinking about what i want the organization to do. Honestly, (again because i’m not so much with the socializing in groups of people i don’t much know) i don’t care much for/about the social functions the org does (which is not to say that they shouldn’t happen, of course). I’m much more interested in political activism. But how exactly does one go about doing that? Smith being what it is, there’s no obvious work to be done on campus specifically, though being that nowhere is perfect i’m sure there is some work to be done, but how does one choose how and what the org does outside of campus-specific issues? I am also disappointed at how little Bodywise seems to do, but again i’m not sure what exactly i want it to be doing or how i want it to go about doing this. I should think about this (and, gee what a thought, discuss with people) over the summer so i can really get involved and do stuff next year.

It occurred to me that not only does the Fairy Tales class conflict with Angel (if it gets renewed and retains its current time slot) but it also conflicts with Radical Catholic Feminists (which is not limited to Catholics and which i have regretted being unable to go to -- due to the Angel conflict -- this year) assuming that continues at the same time next year.

What up with this re: Prophecies at Senior Banquet?
If you want to work on more than one person but you may only present one. These are the instructions I was given by the HP and the Junior class rep who is running senior banquet. It is so all the senior get special attention. There are enough sophomores to cover the senior class so no one should be doubling up on presenting. You can get together in a group to work on them but details and presenting should be done by individuals.
I mean, it makes sense, but, meh. Shutting up now.

Couldn’t go to trans workshop at Talbot ‘cause i has to meet with my Soc of Crime group. There are so many things that i think i really should go to that i don’t (for whatever reason) that it irks me when i can’t go to something i would have legitimately gone to otherwise.


In music news, i’m liking Tori Amos and also (thanks suspectplaces) Five String Serenade (Mazzy Star) and This Mess We’re In (PJ Harvey w/ Thom Yorke of Radiohead).


Sweetest thing ever.
JoeyD341: my friend has "Wild Geese" up as her away message - that poem will always make me think of you
Okay, so really just uber-sweet thing of the day. I heart my boy lots.
11:55p
When i got up this morning there was "We <3 you!" on my dry-erase board, and that made me happy.
The e-mail i got from the Russian Fairy Tales professor, however, did not make me happy:
Elizabeth--
The course is in Russian. The requirement is 3rd-yar Russian or
permission of the instructor. If you have any questions, please get
back to me.
Katia
So i am on the search for a 4th class. The MW(F) 9-10:20 block looks best. The Renaissance Gender Debate (CLT 221 w/ Ann Jones)? Approaching the Body (one of the Art 101s) ? There’s an Ethics class that could be cool, but 8 in the morning is so not cool. ENG 200 is tempting ‘cause it’s Doug, but there’s also a Wednesday 2:40-4 component, and that’s a lot on top of MWF 9-9:50. Plus, Middle Ages to 18th century? What am i thinking? Intro to Macroeconomics and Intro to Microeconomics are both offered MWF 9-9:50. Is it sick that i’m most excited about those two options? (Because really, i am my father’s clone daughter.)

Also, i am really irked by the whole “one senior per sophomore” thing for Senior Banquet.

I have no focus, but boatloads of stuff to do. Let’s summarize:
  • Women’s Studies
    • one 5-7 page paper
    • 2 papers of as yet unspecified length

  • Language Acquisition
    • research/analysis paper (which i just noticed only has to be 5 pages long -- Hallelujah!)
    • final exam

  • American Literature
    • 5-7 page paper
    • final exam

  • Sociology of Crime
    • exam
    • group presentation
    • The Big Caper
I will post about Angel with many exclamation marks shortly, but first i have to tell you... Zohra just came by my room and asked if i would still be interested in being SAA. She will be flying from Tanzania and hasn’t been able to get a flight that would get her back here in time for the training. I, of course, am happy to take the position. I told her sincerely that i was sorry it didn’t work out for her since she wanted to do it, but she said she was sure the first-years would be in good hands. :)

Current Mood: better

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