May 13th, 2003


C'est la vie. C'est la guerre.

My mother's father isn't a big part of any of our lives, but he is her father, and she has stayed in touch with him. Most everyone's more concerned about my mother than about him, though.

We have this large white candle burning much of the time, like a form of prayer. My mom thinks it's a Catholic thing. She's not clear on the theology, but it makes her feel better, and that's what's important.

Her friend Linnea called the other day. She had broken her ankle (?), said she called to depress us. "Not possible," my mother said, "unless you're dying."

RILEY: How're you doing?
BUFFY: Complicated question.
RILEY: I just meant --
BUFFY: I know.
RILEY: I hear you. Got big stories to tell you, too. We get half a sec, we can compare and contrast.
BUFFY: Did you die?
BUFFY: I'm gonna win.
-"As You Were" (6.15)

I was thinking about the D-word. I tell people "My mother's father is dying," both in print and en voz, because he is. Lung cancer and congestive heart failure. One of those is going to kill him. He's 83 and he has days or weeks left to live. I remember in high school my best friend's grandfather was dying. Her father flew to Ireland to be with him. I don't remember us dancing around the D-word.

My mother was talking to someone recently who said she should have compassion with people who can't bring themselves to say the D-word. My mother was too tired to argue, but she's not up for having compassion for anybody except Naomi (her father's wife) and, ya know, maybe immediate family and stuff.

:( I miss having my own computer. I went to set it up myself but i need an extension cord and i don't know where one is and i don't know where my dad is.

I got most of my clothes put away yesterday, though, and will be doing a couple of errands later today. I'm starting to feel less overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff. I'm also less panicked about Oxford. (Donations to the Send-Elizabeth-to-Oxford-Fund now being accepted, but of course almost everyone who reads this is as poor as i am.)
i do it for the joy it brings

My brother is so the tech boy ;)

I set up my computer almost all by myself because i am stubborn an independent, mature, and self-reliant woman and then my brother got me hooked up to our DSL. Being on my own computer, with all my files and bookmarked websites and the Internet all in one place again... blessed be. Also, now i am in my room which = farther away from the television. Oh, and being online constantly. I love this. :) (Though of course what with everyone being kicked out of college housing already or soon this is less exciting. And hopefully i'll be, ya know, frequently employed. I called Michele 'cause she sent me an e-mail wondering if i was home yet -- when i go visit tomorrow i have to check 'cause i swear i told her when i would be home so she could write it down and know.)

Also, nothing like the end of an era to prompt a flurry of media attention. I'm not gonna bother linking to anything except this 'cause, ya know, brilliant. Also, Angel has officially been renewed.

Oh, and can't forget the daily Neil Gaiman love:
There is something about enthusiastic human stupidity that fascinates me. It looks like every credit card company responsible for every credit card in my wallet immediately went "He's trying to buy a TV in Poland? This is an odd and anomalous thing to do. We will deny it and put a block on the card," ...except, of course, for the credit card department of my local bank. My local bank went, "He's using his bank card as a credit card for the very first time, and buying thousands of dollars of electrical goods in Warsaw? Well, it's about time he started using that card." I heard that they seemed rather disappointed to learn that it wasn't actually me buying computers and TVs all over Warsaw (I suppose they thought it was just the kind of unusual thing that I might be counted on to do), and tomorrow my wife has to go in to the bank and fill out forms promising it wasn't me buying all those TVs.
And for extra fun, post-Mother's Day Lileks.

Okay, edit the third: #5 especially, and read the comments as well