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burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness
 
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Tuesday, December 9th, 2003

Time Event
1:42a
"What does that make us?" "Big damn heroes, sir."
I run out of words sometimes.

Especially because usually i'm borrowing other people's words.

But we will be each other's rock.

We will be each other's joy.

We will be each other's blanket.

We will be what we need to be, because whether we believe it or not we have the strength and skills and stamina.

We don't deserve these sorrows and these hardships.

We don't deserve these joys and this beauty.
10:43p
"Take me, sir. Take me hard."
trijinx: my friendspage is full of the Firefly DVD glee. Will there be viewings over January?

Wow, i got an A- on my Spanish paper. I am extraordinarily pleased and may stop by Doug's office mañana to glee. I saw him in the library the other day and said i just wanted to pass everything and wipe this semester from memory. He assured me i would do better than that, and i agreed, but only because passing is a mere C-.

Today i was reminded that despite my distaste for much of the work, i do on the whole like my classes, and don't really regret taking any of them. And i think i might audit more classes in my future.

Last night i really wanted to just write my Spanish paper, but i had to outline it instead. This was good, because it forced me to organize stuff, but it reminded me just how little solid direction i have on this paper. Tonight i was all psyched to write the paper, but i checked my friendspage and slashphilosophy... ! It is a conspiracy further evidence that i am unmotivated and easily distracted.

I am refusing to engage anyone in political discussion [though i'm collecting links so i can write Entries of Doom over the break]. I don't have the time to do the research necessary to form opinions i really stand behind or to refute anyone else's stances. I feel safe in saying, however, that if you have an opinion i probably disagree with it. I do still love intellectual stimulation, and things like religion which don't require a deep knowledge of current events are still fair game. (Of course, i really shouldn't be doing anything other than schoolwork for the next 10 days.)

I was introduced to a distaste for postmodernism in QST, so i was avoiding taking the What kind of postmodernist are you? quiz. kq said he has problems with queer theory, though i think that's mostly due to their Anglo-centrism and not the same issues i have with queer theory. Postmodernism and queer theory are two things i began researching and didn't have time to get into any real depth in, but they are definitely on my list of Topics of Doom.

"Let's just pretend for a minute there's a single force ordering everything in the universe. What would it be?"
One answer: "the fact that you asked this question proves you operate entirely within a bubble of race and class privilege"
Hello, Smith-speak!

Hott, for "Who would make the best governor of California?" i got to pick "the opposite of whatever you think... for the purposes of this conversation" ( i didn't follow the issue well enough at the time to have a real answer at this time).

"What's your opinion of Burning Man?"
"white people fetishizing primitivism, can you get more bourgeois?"
I actually don't know much about BM itself (Jenny Calendar went!), but liberals fetishize "primitivism," nature/"the natural," "diversity," and probably more i can't think of off the top of my head, and it makes me want to defenestrate desk chairs.

my quiz result...Collapse )

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