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burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness
 
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Monday, January 26th, 2004

Time Event
1:21a
I want someone to dance sevillanas with so i don't forget it all.
"Procrastination is my art. I make it with my hands, every day."
-mpoetess

No one warned me that cover letters are f-ing hard. (But i really am learning to sell myself and my skills and learning that i do in fact have skills, so it’s all to the good. )

Internship applications are the angst i was mostly spared for college applications as i was early decision. This weekend i alternated between thinking i’ll get okayed for bunches of them and have to pick the best one and thinking one will want me. And then there’s the never-ending paperwork i have to fill out in order to get PRAXIS funding once i get an actual internship. *sigh*

I wrote solid cover letters for the 3 positions i’m most interested in and may attempt an internship proposal for GLASS. I think i can make myself do cover letters for the other positions i’m less interested in throughout this week. They’re like my safety schools.

New-girl-Emily, talks a lot. We hung out for literally 8 hours Friday night and most of it was her talking -- though to be fair, a lot of that time was playing pieces she had written on her midi. (She used to ride horses and play violin. Now she sings and writes music, plus she’s a tae kwan do black belt. Oh, and she writes songs as well, and original fiction. “Is there anything you don’t do?” i asked.)

She went to high school with upsidown and was rmfendell’s prospie, because clearly Smith is an incestuous small world. She said that she was almost wholly sold on Smith just because of Rebecca, how nice she was. laynamarya, babelfish9... i gave her the e-mail address that’s in Becca’s unused LJ profile? Is that still good?

She talked about music a lot, so i mostly just nodded, but then we got talking about writing and eventually to fandom. That is something i can talk about.

cut for fannish talk -- mostly HP, actuallyCollapse )

I really didn’t need to see Jules et Jim (the j-term film that night, which i had planned to see). But i did need to do my laundry. It went in at, um, 2:20-ish. (Things i look forward to about living on my own: not having other people making the laundry room grody. Okay, so that means my apartment needs to have a bedroom a bathroom a kitchen and a washing machine.) So i went to bed at like 4:30 in the morning. When’s the last time i did that?

Slept in on Saturday morning as it was the last morning i could for quite a while. Then that night around bedtime i felt too sleepy to do thinking work but couldn’t fall asleep, so i stayed up way late reading and surfing LJ. Caught up on the last month of buffy_icons (as well as all of ff_icons, but that’s far less impressive) and signed up for sarah_p’s Spike ficathon (e-mail her if you want in) and enfaith's non-canon relationship ficathon. Because really, that’s the thing to do when you already have 2 other fics you have to write and classes start in a day. I started playing around with iconning again. I haven’t learned how to do any of those brush things, but hey, i was happy to learn blur/smudge and paint. As Annie said once when my dinner plate was full, one-half white rice and one-half cooked corn, “You have simple tastes, don’t you?” (One of these days rhipowered or someone has to walk me through ImageReady, so i can make good animated ones.) Fandom so owns me. Approximately one-fourth of my friendslist now is icon or fic communities. This is less phearsome given that some of them are rather inactive.

Impressively i got up for church fine and didn’t start feeling tired until the reasonable hour of 11pm. Of course, at that time i was still writing cover letters, but oh well. I was getting so much sleep the last week of j-term (and getting next to nothing accomplished) so i think this is an improvement. [And then there's the whole second wind factor, so i'm fine now.]

After one of the hymns, Liz mentioned that in the new shiny hymnal we use for most of the songs, none of them end with the “Amen” which every song at her Presbyterian home church ended with. The next song we sang ended with that prolonged “Ahhh-men,” and i realized what a homey feel that is, as even with the new hymnal i think most of United’s songs end with “Amen” (which makes sense, as it’s an Amen-happy dominant congregation).

Church included a “gospel choir,” so i thought of susiebabylon, but it didn’t feel like what i think of as gospel choir. Except the offertory selection was “Soon I Will Be Done” (William Levi Dawson?). It took a few lines, but i realized where i knew the song from. Mrs. Moen, of course!
Soon I will be done with the troubles of the world
Soon I will be done with the troubles of the world
Gone home to live with God

I want I want to meet my mother [father, Jesus]
I want I want to meet my mother
I’m goin’ to live with God

No more weepin’ and a wailin’
No more weepin’ and a wailin’
I’m goin’ to live with God.
In his sermon, Peter talked about “meeting Jesus again for the first time” and as part of that, he talked about the ideas of Jesus that we are brought up with. The Anglo Jesus for one. The meek and obedient Jesus. The Jesus who passively suffered. I thought of lilithchilde *g* (as well as last year’s Lenten book study). He said that the real Jesus was a Jewish carpenter who lived in the sunbaked corners of the Middle East. I like when people remind that fact. He kept emphasizing the fact that Jesus was Jewish, which Liz and i both thought was a bit odd. She had taken a religion class, so it seemed like a “Well yes, duh, can we move on now?” thing to her. For me it was more the fact that he kept saying Jesus was Jewish but didn’t really go anywhere with it, mentioning the racial problematics of the dominance of an Anglo Jesus or anything like that.

Then at the end, apparently out of nowhere, Peter said that we were approaching the New Hampshire primaries. I got worried. He talked about how all candidates will profess to be Christian and will invoke God and Jesus, claiming that they blessed their campaign, and basically admonishing the congregation to be watchful and stuff, and it ended up being well-done, but i was a bit thrown. Liz and i had a nice conversation at coffee hour about how candidates are pressured to appear religious because it’s what will get people to vote for them.

As i said, Kansas Liz came with me to church, and unlike last time when i had tea duty and MJ was the only person to really talk to us, this time we sat down at a table and Mary whatshername chatted with us, followed by various other people. Liz is better at being friendly than i am, so i foresee more social involvement in my First Churches future, which is of the good.

Wow. All j-term the lines for meals were near non-existent. Dinner this past Friday night was practically deserted. Tonight, though? Return of the mile-long lines. I kept expecting them to reappear last week and they never did.

I didn't know the Golden Globe awards were tonight until someone mentioned it near the very end of dinner. Usually there's Emmy commotion on my friendslist so i have a heads up. Not that it matters as i have no interest in watching, just usually i'm looped for these sorts of things.

It feels like finals, with the vague illness and the being up late finishing things i procrastinated. The fact that the real new semester begins in mere hours feels somewhat unreal. Of course it helps that all i have is intro macro econ, errands, lunch, work, and then it’s the evening. Tuesday will be the day i get the syllabi for all my Smith lit. classes.

The top of the dry-erase board on my door says "Test everything. Hold on to the good." (thanks, laynamarya!) and at the bottom i just put a magnet i got for Christmas: "Good Morning Let the stress begin!"

[Sidenote: Discussing course choices with an overachieving first-year at 1 in the morning the day that the semester starts... actually fills me with joy at my ability to be helpful. Why yes i am a dork. And really, the fact that i love being helpful is why i like being an SAA; the training didn’t help very much, but because i have an official title, i’m much more likely to have people come talk to me, and this i get to be helpful.]
1:29a
Oh, and in the spirit of my [insert adj. here] fannishness, another meme that’s been going around...
You don’t have to come up with answers to all of them, and i’m turning off IP-logging, so you can answer anonymously if you would like. [Is there a way to just turn it off for one post? The only thing i could find was just to turn it off, period.]
If my life had a fandom:

a. Who would the 'shippers pair me with?

b. Who would the slashers pair me with?

c. Who would be in my OT3 with me?

d. What would a Mary Sue in my fandom be like OR who is mostly likely to be turned into Canon Sue?

e. When did I / will I jump the shark?

f. Write a one sentence summary of the story that would win the Best Fanfic Award in my fandom.

I assume “shipper” pairings would be canon pairings, and “slash” pairings would be non-canon (the pairings based on subtext) but you can answer het and same-sex if you’d like.

OT3 is “one true threesome.”

Mary Sue is a character who is far too perfect to be real (and can be male if you want).

A show “jumps the shark” when it is no longer worth watching.

Okay, i think i covered all the jargon.
7:14p
11:53p
This morning, a friend of mine posted about how painful it was to see the anti-gay-marriage demonstrations. A commenter wrote, "I really don't understand this anomisity against the Gay/Lesbian/Bi/transgernder groups."

I know what the person meant, but my instant reaction was “But you have to understand where these people are coming from or you can’t have real dialogue with them.” You can’t have discussions with people if you don’t have any respect for the integrity of their convictions. Writing off people who disagree with you as brainwashed ignoramuses [shouldn’t that be ignorami?] is abhorrent, regardless of what side you’re on. Double standards/hypocrisy is one of my big pet peeves, and it comes up with opinionated people a lot.

Hmm, this was supposed to be more well-thought out, with examples and stuff. *sigh*

Anyway. Today was the first day of classes, but the only class i have on Mondays is Intro MacroEcon. I think that’s gonna be a good class. Randy Bartlett seems very fun and engaging, and i expect he knows his stuff very well. “Economics is magic” -- because you are able to transform your labor into goods you could never create on your own. Interesting way of looking at it.

Lunch was grilled cheese and potato puffs which made me very happy.

Work was fine. Everyone was pleased to see me. Nothing interesting to report.

It was really good to see Albright people at dinner tonight.

I did 2 more cover letters. I now have 2 magazines, 2 gay rights groups, and a media literacy one. I was working on another one tonight, but stuff came up.

Marnie’s back. I was expecting her to be far more “I need space to settle and recenter,” but as she pointed out, she had been traveling for ages, so she had lots of time to think and begin the readjustment and everything.

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