June 20th, 2004

you think you know...

"Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride. Everything, everything will be just fine"

Meldrick: Love spelt backwards is e-vol.
Frank: What?
Meldrick: E-v-o-l. Evol.
Frank: That's not love spelled backwards, that's live spelled backwards.
Meldrick: Cut me some poetic slack, would ya, Frank.
"Diener" - Homicide: Life on the Street

(Hat tip: musefool)

marginalia wrote a lovely a River/Simon drabble: "Everything"

While reading Dialogue the Fifth, it occurred to me that Sade’s Philosophy in the Bedroom is really bad fanfic. Lots of Buttsex=teh hawt!; no one ever uses lube; and everyone fucks at a moment’s notice, drowning in cum. It’s also dreadfully boring, of course. I thought the second of Ann Rice’s Sleeping Beauty trilogy was boring with all the spanking, but at least those were clad in semblances of plot; this is just constant fucking -- possibly the least erotic sex i have ever read.

The philosophy is of passing interest since it’s basically “Nature designed us for pleasure. All we should seek is our own pleasure, and that at any cost -- i.e., with no regard for anyone else’s well-being” while at the same time i’m having discourse with Mike Moore who basically argues that humans naturally incline toward badness and need the Law of Scripture to reign us in (though he also seems to argue that the Law is written on our hearts).

Okay, back to what i’ve actually been doing with my life these past few days.

Helped set up for Susan’s talk/Q&A/book-signing on Thursday. The talk was pretty interesting, and after listening to my dad debate with her some, i really should read the book. My grandma currently has our copy, though. And it’s not like i lack books to read.

Susan argued that corporate sponsored media turns people from creators to consumers. Living in fandom as i do, i would be inclined to argue that point.

There’s also the idea of protecting children, of saving people from themselves. My dad made the pornography analogy and later said that it’s also the argument many people on the Religious Right make for homeschooling their children. That corrupting influence of secularism and all. I was thinking about how i jokingly call myself the cold-hearted end-justifies-the-means bitch, if your rationale can argue for two polar opposite things (and i love doing the devil’s advocate using someone’s line of reasoning to argue for something i know they hate) then it’s not the means (the rationale) that you’re really committed to but the end (the thing you’re arguing for).

Saw a girl i graduated high school with at Ruggles Station when we were on our way home and then another when i was walking to my grandmother’s house on Friday. The whole small world thing has come to be just an expected part of being home, neither positive nor negative but just an indifferent fact. Doing a Petersons.com search for cultural studies grad programs and seeing the geographical range, it began to sink in that i might well end up somewhere wholly outside the Northeastern USA for grad school and while for undergrad i knew i wanted very much to stay in the Northeast, for grad school i don’t think i would mind leaving all that much anyway. Just like near the end of last semester i was thinking, “I think i could do 4 years at a sprawling institution like UMass Amherst,” which i knew graduating high school i couldn’t do. Right out of high school i would have survived a giant university outside of the Northeast ‘cause i’m a resilient kid, but at this time i don’t think i would have all that much trouble doing it. Yay growth.

Went to my grandma’s on Friday to help her get ready for my parents’ anniversary celebration (Saturday evening) and then went to Singspiration. Marilyn and Ruthie actually came. I was surprised to see them ever darken the doors of United. Joe Fitzgerald tried to get them to join the choir, and i guess he’s always sending them invitations to church functions. It’s rather heartwarming that he still thinks Marilyn and Ruthie and them have a place in this church. They’re wonderful women and it certainly is a loss for the church, but this isn’t their church anymore, isn’t our church. He said, “The church is the people,” and i said, “Yes, but the people have changed, the people running things have changed, too much has changed, this isn’t the same church anymore, isn’t our church.” Marilyn laughed and told him, “You’re not gonna get any help from this one.” I thought later i should have said “You don’t regularly attend Jewish temple just because they’re good people there, do you?” I suspect most places of worship are filled with quality people, but there’s far more to the decision to make a church community your home than just that. (This of course isn’t even touching the issue of how shittily some of the people now running United have behaved.)

Saturday evening we went to my grandma’s house to celebrate my parents’ anniversary. After stuff was over, my mom and grandma chatted and the rest of us channel-surfed. We came upon what looked like the extended version of this year’s Senior Video which was fun for a while and then i got bored. I wanted to leave (it’s certainly within walking distance, and the weather was nice) and wasn’t allowed to and i kinda snapped. I’ve gotten so used to coming and going pretty much how i please, particularly since i’ve been at college. I was also just feeling sick of putting up with shit. It occurred to me as i was walking home (yes, i was after a time allowed to leave) that i was also pissed about a number of things i hadn’t been consciously thinking about besides the obvious fact that time spent with my grandma is crazymaking for me.

My mom and i went to the Congregational Church for Fathers Day.

My mom liked the “Ministers: All of us!” under the “Leadership” list on the back of the bulletin

I liked:
Following the affirmative consensus vote on the ONA statement taken on June 6th and the Moderators direction, there will be a Special Church Meeting held immediately after church on June 17th to formally ratify the vote.


We of the First Congregational Church in Norwood, United Church of Christ, recognize the call of our living God to affirm the dignity of every person.

As a loving and caring faith community, we acknowledge that we are one body in Christ and are led to love our neighbors as ourselves. In response to God’s call to be agents of justice, we welcome all individuals regardless of physical or mental ability, race, age, culture, family status, sexual orientation or gender identity into the full life and community of our church.

By declaring ourselves an open and affirming congregation, we celebrate the wide range of gifts found in a diverse community. All members, officers, boards and committees are encouraged to meet this call in all of their actions.
They did concerns and celebrations and a parishioner mentioned that we should pray for the soldiers in the Middle East and the Pastor said yes, “the soldiers who are in the Middle East for no good reason” and i wanted to stab. Of course, i get annoyed by the opposite end of the spectrum as well. At Singspiration Joe talked about how when Bill was in the hospital, a doctor saw that he was a pastor and leaned over and said quietly, “so as to not get in trouble for breaking the Constitution,” “I’m a brother in Christ, too.” Oh puhleeze, Joe, the Left’s interpretation of the First Amendment and the separation of church and state does not mean that no one is allowed to publically mention being a Christian.

Before they took the offering they talked about thanking our fathers for all their wonderfulness and i thought, “What about those with absent fathers?” My own father is wonderful, but the assumption of shared experience about something like that is really insensitive since so many people have absent or actively shitty fathers. Couldn’t they at least nod to that?

The sermon was called “Had this been an actual emergency ...” and was on the Abraham-sacrificing-Isaac story (Genesis 22:1-19). The pastor talked about faith and the irrational.

My mom listened to Prairie Home Companion per usual this afternoon. Have i mentioned how sick i am of people carping about the Bush Administration and Iraq? I’m tempted to declare a moratorium on stand-up comedy about actual issues ‘cause everything is complicated, and boiling it down to one-liners just makes me wanna hit you. (Poetry is problematic enough, but at least it tries sometimes while comedy seems to pride itself on its oversimplification of whatever it is talking about.)
you think you know...

(no subject)

sexonastick started a meme:
There is a huge chunk of you that I don't even have a clue about your first name. I don't know how old a lot of you are, or where you live, or basic normal things.

This is the problem with LJ, we all think we are so close, and we know nothing about each other.

So, I'm going to rectify it.

I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about. I promise, I will not make fun of you, or say who asked what.

I then invite you to do the same. Remember, seriously basic stupid questions, don't be embarrassed, you would be really shocked what I don't know about you.
I told her i always suck at the "ask me questions" meme, but she was welcome to ask me anything. One thing she asked was:
What is the most pointless book ever written? (If such a thing can be said to exist.)
for which i didn't have an answer, so i'm curious as to whether anyone else does. And of course you're welcome to participate in the actual meme -- ask me anything you like; doesn't have to be stupid questions but is certainly allowed to be.