September 12th, 2004

small girl in big world [_extraflamey_]

"these hands are small i know, but they're not yours - they are mine own"

This journal is so my replacement for a perpetual paper journal. (Except that it isn’t because i so tailor this with my awareness of my audience.) I just inflict the minutia of my life on people. I almost feel like i should talk politics again, give people something useful. Except that of course that way leads badness. I actually do wanna catch up on the stuff my dad has been e-mailing me and i’ll likely post it (behind a cut-tag) at some point. But at current i just get so angry and frustrated whenever i engage with the whole sausage factory.

The first day of Shakespeare class, Bill Oram put The Great Chain of Being up on the blackboard (diagram, not phrase) as well as the spheres and i flashed back to Mr. Peterson’s class. I learned that inanimate matter was itself divided, with earth being lowest, then water, then air, then fire. (I started singing the Captain Planet song -- “earth, fire, wind, water...” -- in my head.)

I keep singing Bob Franke’s “Israelite” in my head in my religion classes. I’ve been clearing out some of my mp3s and have been reminded of how much i enjoy listening to string music and how hott Bernadette Peters is. Anyone wanna send me an mp3 of Leonard Cohen’s “Take This Waltz”? I have a Spike/Dru vid, but it seems much more efficient to just have an mp3 rather than a .wmv

"I want you to build an ark."
"Right ... What's an ark?"

Because we’re doing the flood story in my Intro Bible class i feel compelled to share the Bill Cosby skit :)

Anyway, the list of plays we’re reading:
The Scottish Play - One of my two favorite Shakespeare plays.
As You Like It - The one play on the syllabus i haven’t been previously exposed to even though it’s a biggie, so i’ll be glad to have finally read it.
I Henry IV - Have studied this twice, love it.
King Lear - Am much looking forward to actually studying this. (In my elective high school Shakespeare class, i was one of 2 students actually into the play, so partway through Quinn gave up and we watched Ran instead.)
Measure for Measure - Oh, the problem play. Am looking forward to real study of this. (Saw weird RSC production at Oxford.)
Coriolanus - Saw in Oxford. Not something i would put on a Shakespeare syllabus.
The Tempest - Have studied and seen.

Looking at the Spring Shakespeare i’m not entirely sure i wanna subject myself to it. I’ll see what it conflicts with and decide come registration.
Romeo and Juliet - Some beautiful language, but the main plot makes me want to bang my head against a desk.
Richard II - Is this a typo for Richard III?
Hamlet - Not particularly a fan.
Twelfth Night - Love this play.
Troilus and Cressida - Not one of the major plays. Have never read.
Othello - *shrugs* Been there, done that.
Antony and Cleopatra - Ditto.
The Winter’s Tale - Have been wanting to see/read this play since high school.

Anyway, after Shakespeare i went to the library to read before my next class and Rebecca came in and we chatted. Then Sarah came in, wholly unsurprised to see me there, “holding court” as she said (i was sprawled in one of those nice armchairs). I spend minimal time in Neilson, but yeah, i’m at home in the book places.

I had lunch at Hubbard (sat with Leah from jterm and met Glenn an Albright 06J who remembered me from the English Dept. tea, which impressed me). Rice, yummy fake burger, it was good times. Hella crowded, though. (Ditto the next day when i ate at Lamont the next day.) And i hear some places actually ran out of food at times last week. (Rather hope they’ve remedied that by now.) I rather suspect the whole 700 firsties thing is contributing (my class is about 600), but of course the whole consolidation thing is flawed. Themes and consolidation work when you have separate buildings for eating, but when you’re cramming everyone into houses designed to only serve a few....

Weren’t they gonna extend the dining hours to offset this obvious problem? *pulls out that piece of paper i got at Central Check-In*
Brunch, previously 11-1, is still that at some houses but 11-2 at some and 9-1 at others
Lunch, previously 11:45-1, now 11:30–2, though grab&go at Chapin is 11-1
Dinner, still 5:45-7 except 5:45-9 at Tyler Mon-Thurs

I started work on Wednesday. Everyone was very happy to see me, and i got more hugs than i had been expecting. Nan joked about chaining me to the desk. I pointed out that i wouldn’t be able to do the filing that way :)

A while back, Sharon said:
it's weird. for the supposed best time of our lives, you run into a lot of sad people at this stage.
it's a weird sad place, sometimes
I was reminded of this recently. Not so much me but some of my friends.

However, last week i was just so weary. Jumping through other peoples’ academic hoops.... One wonders perhaps why i wanna pursue graduate study. The weariness also meant i didn’t wanna engage with any of the extracurricular stuff i was so psyched about last semester. I must be feeling better, though, because i actually feel up for attending meetings this week, and i e-mailed various people this weekend.

Hi, the schedule is fucked up this year. Emma confirmed for me that last year we started classes on a Thursday; i wasn’t just conflating it with 12 years of NHS.
This year? Tuesday Dec. 14 = last day of classes. Exams begin Saturday Dec. 18. Break begins Wednesday Dec. 22. Christmas on a Saturday throws this all off.

Big surprise, the Pop Culture class is full with an informal waitlist to boot. E-mailed the UMmass prof and i’m in. It occurred to me that i have to take the 12:10 bus which, having a class ending at 11:50, means i’ll have about 10 minutes to eat lunch, which is no good both because the trend is hella lines what with the consolidated dining and also because it severely cuts down on my Allie time. Chapin grab&go may be a blessing, but the lack of Allie time is sad. (Though once i get my act together there will be an assortment of video viewings.)

I miss people, but i don’t have time. I want to spend more time with the people i like, renew friendships with the non-Smith people i like, get to know new Smith people, but i really don’t have the time. Hopefully once i settle into the semester more i’ll feel more balanced and in control and will be able to socialize more.

In that vein, i am not making a list of all the fic ideas/WIPs [works-in-progress] i have. At least, not yet.

I really need to force myself to buckle down and do grad school stuff. December 15 i will be done until the spring when i have to negotiate financial aid and start apartment-hunting and suchlike. I just need to be responsible and conscientious and everything for 3 months. I can do this. Right?

I was going to go shopping on Saturday but stayed in and did homework instead. This was a good decision.

I was going to go to church on Sunday but i overslept. I was less pleased about this, but it wasn’t exactly a conscious decision, and it did mean i got laundry done, and more homework. Beautiful day. All i had left was 45 pages of reading for Tuesday when i left for Liz Carr’s around 1:30. (I’m playing catchup from last week and trying to stay on top of the upcoming work because soon i’m gonna have to play serious catchup -- when i have an actual syllabus for my UMass class.)

Liz Carr had an open house in her apartment for Marlene Rye, Smithie (and Lamonster!) Class of 1993. Her son Reed is 3 and reminded me of willysunny’s Ethan. At one point he stated, in something of a hushed voice, that i had “boobies.” Clearly on the road to learning what one doesn’t talk about but not fully there yet. Anyway, she’ll be having a show at the Alumna House in March and Emily Cox (Lamonster ‘07) was there too and we’re definitely gonna get the house to go see the showing.

I stayed until about 4, socializing with various people, and i ate so much food. Carrot sticks, grapes, White Christmas punch, cashews, fancy cookies. Actually skipped dinner i was so full.

House meeting was more than 2 hours, so i opted out of attending the Tangent meeting i was already late for. During the intro part of house meeting we each said our guilty pleasure song, or some other guilty pleasure. I know i have guilty pleasure songs, i just honestly couldn’t think of any. A bunch of people were telling me to say Buffy so i said that it would be a guilty pleasure except that there isn’t any guilt involved. It was amusing that people would name songs/artists/TV shows and people would be all “That’s totally legit, no guilt.” Apparently bubble gum pop qualifies as guilty and not too much else.

Smith sells t-shirts that say "Smith College: A Century of Women on Top." I want the ones that say "Smith College: A Tradition of Women in Exciting Positions" but i can’t find them anywhere. Sadness.

I recently learned that you can view the Recent Comments left on your LJ. Nifty (especially when LJ holds your comments hostage).

I keep hearing the phrase “kitty-corner” (also “catty-corner”) recently. I’ve been figuring it means diagonal, but it’s definitely a phrase i was never exposed to until recently. Finally looked it up. Yay, i’m right (and now i know some linguistic trivia, too).

Hey, sarah_p: Mr. Gordo ficathon (sign-ups end September 22)

Can you tell porn stars from My Little Ponies by name alone?

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