November 1st, 2004

choose to be [unhappyending]

"cuz when i look at you i squint you are that beautiful"

There are boys floating around the house and i actually kinda enjoy this.

My paper is coming together, though it's going in directions i hadn't expected which is in some ways making it more challenging.

I lurve my mommy.

I really like that i have ideas for fic that are actual involved plotty things with character development and chapters and stuff, not just one-offs of what i think is hot. [Not that there isn't hotness involved, there's just plot, too. I'm definitely maturing as a writer]

I'd been very "I hate people" for much of the past few days because of what election insanity does to people ('cause my opinion of humanity en masse was already so high, right?) and also because schoolwork and grad apps are stressful. But i'm actually feeling really good right now. Quite possibly the massive amounts of sugar in my system, but whatever.

Trick-or-treating was fun (P.S. Mom, i'm using your bowl to hold my candy :) ) and when i get the pictures of me as a mobster i'll post them. Note to self: purchase discounted Halloween candy. My plan for the week is grad stuff ('cause i need to get stuff to my recommenders) and then Shakespeare paper on the weekend (it's just a close reading of Lear) and then the rest of the month will be heavily grad stuff, with some final paper stuff as well 'cause grad stuff needs to be done by Thanksgiving so i don't wholly die in the 2 weeks following it with all my final papers. (Thurs. Dec. 9 after i come back from UMass i get to bliss out, though, because barring extensions i will be done with everything save the Bible final which will be cake.)
hermione by oatmilk

"i like my body when it is with your body..."

Dear Smith College,

Pitch black between Hatfield and Seelye is a bad idea, particularly with winter coming. Please replace the lightbulbs. Thanks.



In other news, Self-Defense prof let us out halfway through, which as always i have no problem with. But it's weird, because she did it 'cause she knew the stuff we were doing tonight was "intense." Okay, so it involved feigning rape attacks, which i totally understand is really intense for some people, but we really didn't spend all that much time doing that, and it seemed almost like the "intense-ness" was just as much about the fact that omg we were actually touching each others' bodies (not in a sexual manner), invading their personal space bubbles and stuff. All the slow-mo not-actually-touching-each-other stuff we usually do feels cheesy to me, and while i am learning the moves it is hardly "empowering." (Especially because it's a damn sight harder to defend/attack/escape when the other person is actually serious about what they're doing.) Actually using my body with someone else's body, though, that makes me feel powerful. And yes i know part of this is that i just don't have the personal space issues that some people do.


Have i mentioned i love my dad? From an e-mail:
If you, Elizabeth, committed to some woman you loved and called it marriage, so would I, whether Massachusetts had a civil union law, or a gay marriage law, or something like Louisiana's new state constitutional amendment. And she'd be an in-law, who we would love to death if we had chemistry or simply be polite and proper with if we didn't get along. "I know you don't think she's good enough for Elizabeth but that's her choice so you can at least be polite."
i fight fire with words

proud moments in academia [an e-mail that just got sent to the student body]

Dear Students:

One of the Diversity Committee's goals is to foster civil discourse within the Smith community. In order for students to be able to express themselves freely, we should all be made aware of our right to freedom of speech. To this end, we have compiled a list of important definitions and regulations pertaining to academic freedom at Smith. The following quotations are taken from the Smith College Civil Rights Policy and Grievance Procedures form, which can be found online at

The College's central purpose is "to foster the free access to knowledge". Therefore, Smith will protect freedom of speech "even when the ideas and values expressed are believed, by some or many, to be inimical to humane society". Merely disagreeing with someone then, does not imply libel or slander (both of which are NOT protected speech). In fact, Smith believes that "the remedy for ideas believed to be distasteful or offensive should be confrontation with other ideas and superior evidence, not administrative sanction."

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