December 1st, 2004


and so December begins...

There's godlike
And warlike
And strong
Like only some show
And there's sad like
And madlike
And had
Like we know


They say slowly
Brings the least shock
But no matter how slow I walk
There are traces
Empty spaces
And doors and doors of locks


-Ferron, "Testimony"

I hate people. And yet i love people.

I miss being a bitch, and yet i hate being a bitch.

These and other semi-paradoxical statements of fact run through my brain.

J-term class registration is today. I'm not signing up for anything. I'm coming back for the whole 3 weeks, though. I will be reading and working at SCMA and socializing with whomever is around and amenable.

I have finished the stuff that is due today. I have 2 final papers due next week -- neither of which have been exactly what one would call started -- and one the following week, plus my UPenn app which includes essentially writing a paper. Saturday the 18th i take my one final exam. The next day i go home.


P.S. moxiemuse joined the LJ party on my door :)

And apropos of nothing, the Esquire UK shoot is back up at They have text on them, which i don't remember from last time. (Oh, duh, because those were straight up photos -- which Esquire made them take down -- while these are scans from the magazine.) I also don't remember that one of her in the white gown on the blue bed, but i really like it. Very classy. I disliked the rest of the shoot, and seeing one of the photos again recently i realized that part of it is because the little girl quality of some of the shots squicks me. (Lo, we have found a squick. Commence apocalypse.) Which is rather ironic since i'll totally fic porn with young characters. I think what bothered me about some of the photos (like the tennis one) was that old man fetishization of the vulnerability of little girls, like Lolita -- that the attraction is that she is so vulnerable in a violatable way, that she is posed so as to invite violation. And yeah, that squicks me. (Which is not to say that everyone who's turned on by that or other photos from the shoot wants to rape a prepubescent SMG, of course.)

::returns sk8eeyore's drive-by hug::