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burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness
 
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Friday, December 31st, 2004

Time Event
2:45p
breaking in my new boots
missambs asks:
If you could fuck anyone on LJ, who would you fuck?
Anonymous, of course.

applejuicegirl is compiling a list of albino characters in literature. (She is also soliciting opinions on the death penalty.)



Tuesday:

Went to the MFA with Jonah. Had a $6 mini-bottle of merlot with lunch in the cafeteria, in large part just because i could. We talked much about Buffy (no surprise) and when we got back i pulled up S7 to select out episodes for him to watch and realized except for a “killing time until sweeps” chunk, most of the episodes were actually rather good.

I saw House for the first time that night. Good show, but it’s so cynical/pessimistic about people, and i don’t think i could handle that on a long-term basis (i had a difficult enough time for one episode) which is rather ironic given that i’m the girl who hates people. I have this need to have faith in the inherent goodness of humanity, though.

I watched the news for the first time in ages and got teary at the stuff about Southeast Asia. (Not like it takes much to make me teary.) The new bandwagon to write drabbles for people who donate reminds me of fan_the_vote and (no surprise) makes me feel uncomfortable. Like, i understand positive reinforcement and offering additional encouragement to people to do something they might not otherwise do, but it just makes me feel weird. I donated to Doctors Without Borders, but i would feel so weird leaving people LJ comments saying “Please do something nice for me because i did this nice thing.” I guess i just feel like the act of giving should be reward enough, which makes me sound like a pretentious bitch, doesn’t it? *sighs*

Wednesday:

Went to the Garment District with Kate. Who got stuck in traffic on the way over thanks to pothole-paving. I was patronizing, sarcastic, and bitchy the whole time. Well, except when i was being quiet :)

I finally got down to the library that night. Talked to various people, including Shelby, who asked if i could get a master’s and teach high school while working toward my Ph.D. I don’t think that’s at all feasible, but damn if it didn’t sound tempting.

hedy: Did you know that the John Birch society is meeting in Norwood now/soon?
hermionesviolin: How do you know about these things and i don't?
hedy: I'm magical. My mom mentioned it to me (she did her senior thesis on them).

Thursday:

Went to the MFA with paper_crystals. When i went with Jonah, we saw most of the new exhibits and went through slowly. This time we went through rather quickly, but we hit lots of stuff and i surprised myself with my nostalgia. So much stuff just felt familiar from my years of visiting the museum, like early American painting (which i’m hardly into) and ancient Egyptian stuff (which i haven’t been in love with for years). And of course stepping into the Impressionist room was like a breath of meadow air, like lying down on a soft bed of grass.

paper_crystals told me about the crazy dreidel game she had with friends and the bestest line:
“It’s like politics. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have anything left; you just keep spinning.”

We went to Grendel’s Den for lunch, and i had wonderful fettuccini alfredo. Continuing my trend of overpriced alcoholic drinks for lunch, i got peppermint schnapps hot chocolate because how could i not. I always forget how much i dislike alcohol, that burning sensation as it goes down my throat. No real headache this time, though, which was good.

Then we went to Pandemonium. I was introduced to jadasc by paper_crystals. The world it is small.

“The past isn’t dead. It isn’t even past.”
Faulkner; i was right. Though it doesn’t answer the question of where i saw it recently.

Browsing bookstores leaves me with a long list of yet more books to get from the library and read. Yes i do still have a great fondness for vampire fic. Some of it looked uninteresting, but much of it looked quite interesting, mostly the ones that focused on modern vampires.

Watched CBS reruns (preceded by a touch of WWE).
CSI (“Harvest” 5.03): Wow, hello book which to tell would spoil the episode, but i’m linking.
Without a Trace (“In the Dark” 3.1): I knew the mobility instructor looked familiar!

Chatted with mom and bro for a while. Will be interesting to see what life is like for us when my brother and i are actually real grownups and maybe have families.

I expect way too fucking much of people.

All i demand of people is that they be honest, consistent, and rational. (I understand being irrational about irrational things like emotions, but if you're going to discuss something like politics, you had damned well better be rational. Though you are allowed to declare that something hits you personally and you're going to be irrational for a while; but unless you declare otherwise, i expect rational things to be discussed rationally.)

If someone is being cruel, but is being honest, consistent, and rational, i can deal with that. But people so often have good intentions but refuse to be honest, consistent, and rational, and it makes me want to throw them off cliffs.

My epiphany about U.S. international involvement according to the Left): We should never DO anything, because we're evil. But we should give lots and lots of money (no amount we give is ever enough; we are always spending too much on the evil things we do) to the good and pure international peoples because they will do the right things with the money.

I think my new answer to "When do you find out about grad school?" is "I don't fucking know." My answer has been "around March," but i honestly haven't been paying attention to notification dates (not that application materials or even websites have said much about it anyway) because while things like application deadlines were of great concern to me, when exactly i find out is of little concern.

Friday:

Saw Steph Nguyen at the library on Wednesday, made plants to have breakfast on Friday. She is so full of energy. It’s nice when someone genuinely wants to stay in touch. We talked about facebook, among other things. I suspect i’ll get sucked into adding people including old NHS people. Now i’m once again thinking about friendship dynamics and the weirdness of stuff like LJ and facebook. After a couple hours she decided her parents would probably like the car back. I went to the library afterward, and Fran came in with her daughter Annette, and it turned out they had been sitting near us, though it was Annette rather than Fran who noticed/recognized me.
2:50p
2004
All these end of year survey things are weird because my sense of time is so defined by the academic calendar, but what the hey.

that end of year survey thingCollapse )
6:34p
W00t.
Finished my Secret Santa fics before New Years. And they don't entirely suck ended up rather well actually. I am now allowed to seek out my own gifts. (And once authorial names are attached up on Secret Slasha, i'll post that one on my fic journal as well.)

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