August 27th, 2005


introspective ramblings [fanfic]

I worked on my darkfic today, and was gonna work on it more or go to bed, but then I got into a long comment discussion about various texts with scrollgirl, which was yayness because the lack of discussion I have with her due to our mutual busy-ness-es makes me sad.

The darkfic poll I made was in some ways singularly unhelpful as the results were mixed and my own views remain conflicted. The responses were few and included even fewer who actually read in the fandom in question, but my delusional hope is that it is somehow a representative cross-section of fandom at large (because really that is the best one can hope for from flist polls like that).

I’m so pairing-oriented that my instinct is always to make the pairing clear from the beginning, but I’ve grown intrigued by the idea of keeping the pairing a mystery the whole way through (though I think even with edits it’ll be obvious) but I’m also gonna archive it on pairing-specific sites, so people specifically looking for that pairing won’t be surprised. Which feels a decent compromise to me. I may white-text the pairing on my own page when I finally post it. And once I have a workable final copy I’ll probably call Justine and discuss further. Her kinks are not entirely my kinks, but I am intrigued by her suggestions. And I really wish I had more people reading it to give me feedback on what does and does not work for them [which is totally not to be construed as an obligation for the people I sent drafts to].

As for the section headings? I’m liking working some of the Biblical bits into the story, and bits of “Prufrock” are so very fitting, but the explicit structuring around “Prufrock” continues to discomfit me, so I’m considering keeping the Biblical headings (though does that make the parts where they’re worked into the story redundant/heavy-handed?) and tossing in some of the “Prufrock” as character thoughts (is that too pretentious/self-indulgent? I doubt I have pogrebin’s talent for pulling it off).

Definitely a work-in-progress. Not gonna make my goal of having it finished for the Sept. 1 site update, but I’m feeling really charged up actually working hard on a story, getting substantial suggestions and really hammering out what works, making significant changes, etc. etc. I half-feel like a real writer, which is rare. Every time I send a copy to someone I’m convinced that it’s self-indulgent tripe, but I’m also ridiculously in love with the story, which I so rarely am.

[Oh, and I need to remember to research myths about siblings and slavery.]