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burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness
 
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Monday, October 31st, 2005

Time Event
12:06a
"going through the motions . . ."
I slept for so long.  Guess I needed it.

Woke up to bright blue sky and tree looking yellow-green leaves in the light.  One would hardly believe wet snow had accumulated yesterday.  I went for a brief walk in the afternoon, and it was short-sleeve weather.  There were light purple crocuses in Mr. Carver's yard.

Gave my mom a massage tonight -- something I haven't done in ages.  I resigned myself some time ago to not getting my hours finished in time to get credit for the course I took over the summer.  Working full-time now I really don't have the energy to do it, and it feels more like a chore than something that gives me joy.  The school has a chair massage class one weekend in December that I still wanna do, but for now it's not something that on the whole I wanna pursue.

Of course I'm not sure what I do wanna pursue.  I've been seriously thinking about taking Continuing Ed courses through Harvard if I get perm. at HBS, with an end goal of teaching high school English, though of course I've gone back and forth on the "teach high school English" plan for years.  Layna's been talking recently about things she wants to do with her life, and she's so full of energy and purpose, and all I really wanna do is just be lazy.  I know that really it's fine to have a 9-5 office job and that the one I've got is hardly a bad one.  It's just that I would really like to have a career/job (that I'm either in or working toward) that I love, and I don't currently know what I would love to be doing, and I like having drive.
10:42p
"Who was John Ferrier?" / "Population: nobody yet" // "attached to your sneeze(r)"
Eric continues to prove himself something of a geek.  The X-Men movies came up in conversation, and I get the impression that he grew up with the comics; he's also a big fan of the Spiderman movies.  He did not know Ian McKellan is gay, though, which surprised me.

Amanda and I went for a brief walk in the afternoon because the weather was so beautiful.  Bright blue sky, green grass, trees turning green-to-yellow, brick buildings -- a touch warm for real autumn, but still good.  I'm sad that we had an over-extended summer followed by a lot of rain and missed out on autumn.

I turned around a little after 4 and the light was soft yellow, streaming in on the walls and also lighting up the trees (whose leaves are already yellow).  It's a really nice view out that window -- hills, trees, grass, brick building.

Walking across the bridge to go home I saw one crew boat emerge from under the bridge and slice through the water which looked dark green&blue.  (Usually there are many boats -- and/or we're having weather -- so a single boat slicing through the calm water was unusual.)

Walking home from the train the nice lady on Hoyle whom I frequently see between home and train gave me candy.

The flist-as-Halloween-party-guests Hallomeme mostly bores me, but it did give me one too perfect not to post:
     ladyvivien dressed as Counselor Troi from "Star Trek".

Not nearly as good as The Shining as feel-good-movie, but I'm still impressed by West Side Story as horror movie.

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