March 24th, 2006

i do it for the joy it brings

Thursday (and Friday): Joy Sadhana

I was going to do Joy Sadhana yesterday, to counterbalance the whinging, but then I was doing stuff with people.

So, if I had done Joy Sadhana yesterday, joy items would have included:
* fireplaces
* warm applecrisp
* K from MPN [look at me go being discreet with names and companies] called; he's always lovely
* being faux-Lutheran with Cat [where the opening responsive bit was Psalm 42:1-10, which made me think of you]
* being (faux-)gay with Cat
* watching CSI (with Cat)

Joy (accomplishment) so far today has included:
* being able to obtain the materials Prof.D. wanted "ASAP - as in today" even though two of them turned out to be CD-ROMs
* realizing there's an easy way to make the TecDoc order I'd been putting off since Tuesday [we won't dwell on the fact that if I'd done this earlier I would already have the documents to deal with while it's slow instead of this coming Monday when I expect return-from-being-away craziness with Prof.B.]
* seeing V!A, who adores me (she said I look "marvelous," and reiterated her pleasure that HBS hired me, because when I temped for her I handled so much stuff so well that she believes I could handle anything)

Why are you cast down, my soul?
Why are you disquieted?
Trust the Lord to make you whole,
As his faithful word has said.
Hope in God, whose saving grace
Lifts again the downcast face.

-from last night's Evening Prayer bulletin
professional me, self


Telling TecDoc single-sided sounded like a good idea at the time, but omg so much paper (and thus so many folders, and thus so many boxes). [And the documents aren't even that long -- ranging from 8-27 pages. But 40 copies of each....] And my backorder of recycled green boxes still hasn't come in, so I'm gonna have to just order new ones.

So excited that the order came in same-day, though, 'cause now the most I'll have to do come next week is collated sets, which I only need 9 of.

[Lent: day 24/40]

what if no one's watching
-ani difranco

if my life were a movie
there would be a sunset
and the camera would pan away
but the sky is just a little sister
tagging along behind the buildings
trying to imitate their gray
the little boys are breaking bottles
against the sidewalk
the big boys, too
the girls are hanging out at the candy store
pumping quarters into the phone
'cause they don't want to go home

and i think,
what if no one's watching
what it when we're dead, we are just dead
what if it's just us down here
what if god ain't looking down
what if he's looking up instead

if my life were a movie
i would light a cigarette
and the smoke would curl around my face
everything i do would be interesting
i'd play the good guy
in every scene
but i always feel i have to
take a stand
and there's always someone on hand
to hate me for standing there
i always feel i have to open my mouth
and every time i do
i offend someone

but what
what if no one's watching
what if when we're dead, we are just dead
what if there's no time to lose
what if there's things we gotta do
things that need to be said

you know i can't apologize
for everything i know
i mean you don't have to agree with me
but once you get me going
you better just let me go
we have to be able to criticize
what we love
say what we have to say
'cause if you're not trying to make something better
then as far as i can tell
you are just in the way

i mean what
what if no one's watching
what if when we're dead
we are just dead
what if it's just us down here
what if god is just an idea
someone put in your head

i mean what
what if no one's watching
what if no one's watching...

I got nothin' today.  I almost used Tegan and Sara's "The First."  And hey, I could be clever and relate this to Pastor Hamilton's reflection today about subtle signs [bonus: relating it back to last night's Lutheran prayer service], or I could talk about my own belief or lack thereof, or I could talk abut the Judeo-Christian tradition of social justice, or I could talk about a reflection earlier in the week I meant to reflect on ... or I could go to bed.