May 23rd, 2006

moon house

nice day so far

This morning, Barbara was asking me about the drawings I have up at my desk. I explained that no, I didn't draw them, my friend Allie did. She joked about commissioning and I said my mom had actually suggested that -- for my apartment -- and this led to discussion about my apartment questing and she was just delighted that I'd found a place and in Somerville -- apparently she's a big fan of Somerville. So lovely when people are so happy for me.
dead (sexy)

"How much longer will I try before I realize..."

Item the first: On my way to the MFA, a guy I walked by told me I was gorgeous.  He wanted to take me out for coffee sometime, maybe exchange cell phone numbers and text each other.  I'm honestly not sure how much he was sketch and how much he was sincere.  I didn't get an especial vibe either way, and my immediate (unthinking) reaction is always a no and a gentle disengagement.  "You have a boyfriend?"  "Yeah," I said, because it was easiest.  "Well I can understand that.  Tell him how lucky he is."  I was all light inside after this conversation (which made me feel a mite bad about turning him down).  Thinking about it later, aside from my instinctive reaction against an older stranger being interested in me off the street, I also have the concern that I am a total failure as a conversation partner with normal people (I complicate everything, don't have easy interests, etc.) hence a hesitation to accept coffee dates with people I haven't had opportunity to sound out at length first; and I tend to think that I'm not that pretty, so clearly anyone picking me up off the street is either desperate or has a thing for the young ('cause I totally look younger than my age).

Item the second: What was that?  I bought a ticket to Drawing Restraint 9 even after I heard it was about whaling because "The film concerns the theme of self-imposed limitation and continues Matthew Barney's interest in religious rite, this time focusing on Shinto" sounded really intriguing.  I'll do more of an actual writeup at some later date, but my current thoughts definitely include, "After Dancer in the Dark I should have sworn off Björk productions."

I keep coming out of bizarre and/or depressing films at like 9:00 at night and thinking, "I would love to talk to one of my friends" and completely blanking (in large part because I totally overthink and am overcautious about when's an appropriate time to calll people).  Emma, you're totally on the list once you're back at Smith.