December 14th, 2006

hermione by oatmilk

Today kept feeling like (it should be) Friday.

I had a weird dream this morning in which I was (watching) one of the Heroes, and a semi-separate dream in which I tried to make out with Nicole while she was drunk.

I was expecting to get to catch up on stuff (processing application materials, SSRN, etc.) today since Prof.B. was at a meeting downtown all day.  However, I came in to e-mail which included: [paraphrased] "Please put together a giant packet of course materials to FedEx to this job candidate we're courting."  I was really glad when the candidate e-mailed to say he'll be meeting one of our profs for lunch tomorrow so he can pick up the stuff then and we don't have to FedEx it -- 'cause it was a "fancy dancy binder" and two green boxes of course materials.

I said at CAUMC tonight that I'm so "over" talking about work.  I think the work that remains is handleable, but I'm definitely looking forward to the weekend and to the Christmas break and to February (when this process should be over; let's not think about how NEG starts in April).

Edit: Hee! An e-mail from a company I ordered something from earlier tonight:
Subject: "Your [Company] Order (might contain gift information)"
Opening text: "PLEASE NOTE: The following message might contain details about gifts from [Company]. If you share this email address and have not recently placed an order with us, please do not read on. We don't want to spoil a surprise."

[CAUMC] LtQ 3.2 "creativity & stories of creation"  [2006-12-14]

Michelle was back at CAUMC tonight, which was fab.  [Have missed her the last few weeks -- was only two sessions, but we also missed a week 'cause of Thanksgiving.]  She said she's the world's worst fantasizer ever 'cause her scruples extend to her daydreams, so the best she can do is have coffee with Jack Black, 'cause he has a wife and kid.  (Though she said that part of his appeal is that he seems like such a good family man, so she wouldn't want him to be unfaithful to his wife.)
At Affirmations, Eric did a dual Affirmation for us of our spirited disagreement over dinner (c'mon, she brought up Napoleon Dynamite) -- I think both of the entertainment factor and that we do this so clearly grounded in love.

Trelawney's Affirmation of me was that she really likes hearing me talk about my opinions.  "You have a lot of opinions," she said, in that deadpan way she has.  I laughed.  She said that at first it threw her a little because she didn't know me, but now she knows that what's behind it is this sweetheart.
Michelle quipped to me, "They think we're nice!  We've got them fooled!  Onward domination!"
My Affirmation of her was that in discussion she always takes what I say and re-presents it in a way that sounds so much nicer than my way, and that I'm really impressed by that ability.  She was surprised and said that's just how she hears them.

Oh, in her self-Affirmation Michelle said that her therapist asked her if she could imagine life without her husband (they've been having problems for a while) and her honest answer was "I don't know," but she also thought, "Well I'd have myself," and that this is such a huge step for her, that in the past whenever she didn't have a boyfriend she was so miserable, all "Nobody wants me" etc.  Of course I acknowledged what a huge wonderful thing this was for her, but I also couldn't help thinking that for all my doubt about whether I'm ever gonna have a relationship/partner of the caliber I want (I know, I know, I'm young yet) I have always been fine on my own.  My self-esteem is very tied to external validation, but aside from the fact that I just don't like people, people are always leaving, so to be so invested in a single relationship [I'm talking friendship here] that losing them would be such a blow is terrifying to me (hello stubborn self-sufficiency).  This should of course in no way be interpreted as a devaluation of any of the people I love dearly.
I'm always so surprised that people who are so forceful in their opinions and personalities actually have such low self-esteem, because in myself low self-esteem is so foundational to a hesitancy to speak up.


I wasn't particularly impressed by the video.  Collapse )