March 11th, 2007

hipster me

"I got lost in the sounds"

E-mail commentage with Emma last night was so much joy.  I love my life sometimes.  Yeah, increased socialization would probably help to ward off the mood funks I've been having.

I failed at falling asleep but did get myself out of bed with my alarm this morning.

During a lull in the setup for my grandma's party this afternoon, I was giving MikeF. a shoulder/backrub -- 'cause he was there and I like him -- and he said, "You should go into business."  Given that I've taken to doing this all the time for the sheer want of it, I really should think about taking classes again -- at the very least, look into purchasing screens and setting up in my living room.  Though as I keep saying to everyone, it is harder than you would believe to actually get people to let you practice on them.

It was easier than I'd expected to just hide in the kitchen and/or not really engage with people, which was actually a little bit of a disappointment -- I've always preferred the company of older people, and I like mattering not to mention conversing (I almost felt like an extrovert, in the sense of charging one's batteries via interpersonal interaction, though it's probably more that I charge off of stuff that stimulates my brain).  Lots of the old UCNers are quite fond of me, but the "So what are you doing with your life?" Q&A rapidly gets dull, and I am forever disappointed that the meaty discussion I expect in meatspace encounters with LJ fen always feel awkward to introduce in discussions with "real people" -- like, despite the fact that these are all church people, I would feel awkward plunking down in a chair next to someone and saying, "So, I've been struggling recently with trying to reconcile belief in an all-loving God along with facts of existence like mental illness."  [Not that I require "meaty" discussion in every interaction with my LJ friends, but somehow there's a higher level of interest in the details of each other's lives, so we've got options.]  I was also noticing that while the party is ostensibly centered around my grandma, people were often engrossed in their own clumps of people -- which is totally valid, 'cause there were like 60 attendees, and part of the point of the party was for people to get together for something Not A Funeral, but it made me feel extra weird about cutting in.  [See also previous post on not really belonging, specifically as being a kid.]

Oh, my grandma fell yesterday.  Yeah, that was awesome.  Somehow didn't break anything, though she got a nasty black eye.  Sigh.

My mom scanned a whole lot of pictures from my grandma's albums, plus did some computer-generated map stuff, and made a PowerPoint of my grandma's life before she moved to Norwood (38 years ago).
I hadn't realized quite how many places my grandma had been when working for Public Health.
When my mom did the bit about Wales I realized that if I visited Gillian there this summer I could check out where my grandparents were and that would be kinda neat (and would probably make my grandma's summer -- assuming, as always, that she's still alive then).
When my mom was talking about the earthquake [hi, Turnagain Heights] she said, "I still can't talk about this without crying."

Later, I handed the microphone back to JohnP. and he said, "Aren't you going to sing?"  Nevermind the fact that I kept coughing (about as bad today with barely any liquid as yesterday with 60oz. of water -- not sure what to make of that, is both distressing and comforting).  At Singspiration last week, JoeF had said to my mom (in front of me), re: this upcoming party: "It's traditional for the granddaughter to sing a song."  My mom said, "Have you *heard* her sing?" and I said, "Joe, why do you hate me?"

Another 90-year-old my grandma knew from Forsyth came to the party, and after a couple hours she was ready to go home.  (She lives at Tremont on the Common and my dad had picked her up, but he had to drive my brother back to RPI, so someone else was gonna drive her back and me with her.)  I felt weird leaving early (though the timing of taking the train back would have been a little awkward as the party was planned to go from 2-5 and the weekend trains leave at 5:05 and 7:05), but my mom said it was fine.  I haven't been in an extended car ride in ages.  I really do prefer trains.  Once we got past Quincy and Braintree, though, there was so much water.  We don't usually approach Boston from quite that direction when I've driven in with my family before, or we do it after dark so I don't notice so much, and it was really quite lovely.

It's so weird to me that Tufts-New England Medical Center is right there 'cause Tufts is also right near *me.*  (Also: The F. A. O. Schwartz Bear is in front there.)

Walking up to Tremont Street to Park St. Station I noticed that the State House is Right There, something I hadn't realized before, which makes me feel kind of ridiculous (though I'm usually only wandering there after dark, or when the trees are leafy).

I got in to Davis Square ~5:20, so I could have just gone to CWM late, but I was tired and headachy (and, honestly, not feeling up for more interpersonal interaction -- hello, introvert), so I just came home.

I actually made dinner (though it was frozen french fries and frozen green beans).
Wow, we have so many Lean Cuisine in our freezer.

My cellphone did the adjusted DST without my even needing to turn it off apparently.  My computer -- and my tv -- had to be manually reset.  I also reset my watch, alarm clock, and the two wall clocks in the house.  I even figured out how to change the time on the microwave.  ::wins::

***

Eek, I totally forgot it's Sharon's birthday today.  We haven't quite got 10 years, but we do go back to before either of us joined LiveJournal, which I think is impressive.

Also, femslash07 goes live tomorrow.  I have no idea how many stories will be in fandoms I know (or pairings I wanna read) but I'm still excited.  Yeah, quality fanfic also improves my mood.

Oh, and carlyinrome's talking about Angel Season 3 [with a focus on what there was to like about that season].

***

I need to read more Simone Weil.  I'm reading Madeleine L'Engle's The Genesis Trilogy, and early in the first book (And It Was Good) she quotes Simone Weil as follows:
For it seemed to me certain, and I still think so today, that one can never wrestle enough with God if one does so out of pure regard for truth.  Christ likes us to prefer truth to him because, before being Christ, he is truth.  If one turns aside from him to go toward the truth, one will not go far before falling into his arms.