burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness

4pm felt early for a Christmas Eve service, but it was interesting having the outside get progressively darker as the service progressed metaphorically toward the light.

Call To Worship

[One] What do I want for Christmas?
I want to kneel in Bethlehem,
the air thick with alleluias,
the angels singing
that God is born among us.
[All] In the light of the Star,
I want to see them come,
the wise ones and the humble.
[One] I want to see them come
bearing whatever they treasure
to lay at the feet
of him who gives his life.
What do I want for Christmas?
[All] To see in that stable
the whole world kneeling in thanks
for a promise kept:
new life.
[One] For in his nativity
[All] we find ours.
("What Do I Want for Christmas?", Ann Weems)
I got a little choked up at the "the whole world kneeling in thanks for a promise kept: new life" bit.

Unison Prayer
    Mysterious God, you come to us this season softly as a mother's sigh, as startling as the cry of a newborn child.  Come into our hearts, we pray, that we may be cradled in your love and stirred by your glory.  Amen.
(United Church of Canada)

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"Silent Night, Holy Night" (Please share the light of Christ by lighting the candle of the person next to you.)

I'm That Girl who wants to carry her lighted candle all the way home, so I'd put my jacket and bag on before we began the hymn (which also means there are spots of white candle wax on my new purple bag).

The sanctuary lights got turned off during the singing of the hymn, which I approved of.

After the hymn was the Benediction, and no one moved to leave during the postlude.  After it was over, people began to head out to the narthex.  I talked to Gusti briefly, and then various people with children kept coming out and just kind of staying, so I headed out.  As soon as I opened the door a wind blew out my candle, so I could have let it close and gone to look for Mike to say hi to him since I'm quite fond of him, but I felt weird doing that (even though it's not like people had nothing better to do than watch what I was doing) and besides I wanted to get back to my apartment and get stuff taken care of before I headed out to Norwood.  (Though the service was only about 45 minutes, so I was less in danger of being pressed for time than I thought I might be.)

As usual, I can basically copy-and-paste the order of worship from years past. Which is somewhat comforting. And of course there's stuff that reminds me that this really isn't my church.

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Closer in to Teele Square (coming along Broadway from where I live) all the sidewalk snow is gone, which was disconcerting. Frustrating, however, was that the traffic lights were just flashing yellow, so I had to wait for a lull in traffic and kinda dart across. (I was also annoyed because to look at the traffic lights required me to basically look into the sun.) When I came back about an hour and a half later, I was pleased to see what looked like someone working on the base of one of the signal poles. Though six and a half hours later when I was heading to the train station it was (still) blinking. Hee, I'm thinking of The Twelve Pains of Christmas -- "now why the hell are they blinking?"

I want basic black non-leather shoes and boots (approx. ankle height so I can easily wear them with jeans), appropriate for both outdoors and at work. This should not be that difficult. And also dress pants that fit. (Scrub pants like for the gym would be an added bonus. Oh, and pajamas. And possibly some new bras. I'm so demanding, I know. I really just want this stuff to magically appear in my bedroom as I do not enjoy clothes shopping much at all.)

Also: my hair is annoying me. Why does it do that stupid curling out thing?

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Advent meditation: Isaiah 9:2-7 (RSV)
     Alex did the meditation. He talked about how the "For unto us a child is born" bit is so familiar to him from growing up in a church (especially a church where "the Christmas Eve service was always led by the youth") and then said, "I'm not sure that I had ever read carefully the full passage from Isaiah in which that phrase appears. What strikes me most in doing so is that beside and among the joyful passages that I remember so clearly are references to oppression and battle that on first glance sit oddly with the message of hope. If Christ's appearance did not bring about an end to these sources of suffering, it seems a bit less clear what to make of the uplifting sides of the story on which we prefer to focus." He concluded, "though it may not be apparent, the spread of peace will continue, and the message of Christ will play its role in that process."

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joy sadhana for Advent (23)

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy." -mylittleredgirl [more info]

And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High; for you will go before our God to prepare the ways, to give knowledge of salvation to God's people by the forgiveness of sins. By the tender mercy of our God, the dawn from on high will break upon us, to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace."
-Luke 1:76-79

Five good things about today:
1. I got about 8 hours of sleep.
2. I got lovely Christmas cards from my grandparents and from Layna. Dude, I am impressed at the home-made-ness of your card. The text inside is too cute not to share.

Happy Christmas!

May peace and joy be with you.

Love,
Layna

PS Can you maybe teach me to love winter?

3. I got picked up on the train. I was reading Our Lives As Torah and as we pulled in to Norwood Central they announced we were gonna be standing by for a few minutes, and this guy sitting across from me asked me about the book I'd been reading, said he'd seen it a number of places but had never read it. It's possible he was just making this up, but there was at least some effort (I have low expectations from random guys, what can I say?). He was un-creepy enough that I let him give me a ride home (he lives in Walpole but parks at Norwood Central, which makes sense since the Walpole train station's kind of in the middle of nowhere) and he didn't try to kiss me goodnight as I'd feared he might. He invited me for coffee or a drink and I said I had to get home since my parents were expecting me for dinner, and that tomorrow I would be doing family stuff but possibly later in the week (he works at Fidelity, near South Station). I didn't feel like we really clicked, but I'm willing to try some practice at this dating thing (assuming he actually calls).
4. Shells & cheese for dinner at my parents' house.
5. Being with my parents and brother makes me really really happy.

Three things I did well today:
1. I woke up (and got up) before my 9am alarm yet again.
2. I did assorted errands.
3. I did some back-tagging. [I have 996 tags. This 1000 tag limit makes me wanna cry. I can delete the "movies: watched" by year tags 'cause most movies I watched well after they came out anyhow, but I like being able to divide tv shows by season. There are single-use tags I can collapse into broader tags and it won't be horrific. But I have hundreds, probably thousands, of entries which are tagged minimally if at all, and part of the way I motivated myself to push through was to allow myself to just give things unique tags, knowing I could go back and figure it all out later.]
Bonus: Lay-reading.

Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:
1. Figuring out details for the Greece-and-Italy trip with my brother.
2. Super tasty baked goodness from my mom. And possibly non-perishable gifts as well.
Bonus: Secret Slasha (and Yuletide).