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burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness
 
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Saturday, May 10th, 2008

Time Event
11:55p
[MFA GLBT] Friday 05/09/08 & Saturday 05/10/08
Standing in line Friday, I felt sort of out of place surrounded by all these very dykey looking women.

Coming Soon (were there trailers in years past?): Girls Rock! (this looks adorable and awesome -- the website says it's showing at the MFA July 31 ... which is a Thursday, dammit), A Jihad For Love (part of the festival, and I still do not feel compelled to see it)

The woman introducing the films mentioned that yes they're aware that they should probably change the name of the festival to something more inclusive which more accurately reflects the community, and the 25th annual next year seems a good time to do that, so if anyone has any clever name ideas let her lnow.  Personally, I would settle for "GLBT Film Festival," which is what I've mostly been calling this, though I recognize that that's not inclusive of all identities and yadda yadda, but the tradeoff seems worth it for the simple clarity.  (It's also sort of weird to me that the festival is only one year younger than I am.  1984... that's pretty bold to have a Gay & Lesbian Film Festival then, with AIDS having so recently come out and all.)
Gay & Lesbian Film Festival
Film
Don't Go
[IMDb]
6:30 pm
Friday, May 9, 2008

Remis Auditorium

Don't Go by Amber Sharp (2007, 60 min.). Melrose Place meets The L Word meets 227 in this intimate story of the lives and loves of a group of LA friends. Melody and Jaden (Guinevere Turner and Melange Lavonne) are a couple dealing with a surprise pregnancy; Jaden's friend, Bone (Skyler Cooper), has a potentially devastating secret; Shanti (Nisha Ganatra) struggles against her controlling family; Cindy (Janora Mcduffie) tries to balance work while caring for her mother; and Jess (Yaniv Moyal) still grieves the loss of his lover after five years. Preceded by The Insomniacs (Kami Chisolm, 2007, 11 min.). Skyler Cooper seeks late-night comfort. Discussion with director follows screening. Co-presented by Queer Women of Color and Friends Boston (QWOC+ Boston) and The Roxbury Film Festival.
This was a little too melodramatic for me, but I suppose that's kind of what it's billed as.  It's actually a pilot for a tv show, which I hadn't realized.  Read more...Collapse )

***

While I was sitting reading, a woman asked if the seats next to me were free and I turned and looked up and said yeah, and the woman asking was Sarah W-W!  She had come with another Smithie (another Sarah, class of '06) and as she was standing she saw another Smithie a few rows back and they chatted a bit.  In talking about area Smithies (she lives in Porter) she mentioned that Becca and Shawn are getting married.

Coming Soon: Girls Rock!, XXY (not part of the festival, but showing at the MFA later in May -- was already on my To See list, and the trailer still makes me wanna see it), The Curiosity of Chance (part of the festival; I had originally had no interest in seeing, but now I do -- which is unfortunate since it's a Sunday night)
Gay & Lesbian Film Festival
Film
Butch Jamie
[IMDb]
8:20 pm
Friday, May 9, 2008

Remis Auditorium

Butch Jamie by Michelle Ehlen (2007, 84 min.). A quirky gender-bending comedy about an out-of-work lesbian actor willing to try almost anything for a role. Dressing up as "femme Jamie" for auditions, Jamie Klein (writer/director Michelle Ehlen) continually faces rejection. Frustrated and jealous of the success of her roommate's pet cat/actor, Jamie decides to audition as her true, butch self. When offered a male role, she reluctantly accepts, and begins passing as "male Jamie." The plot thickens as Jamie piques the interest of Jill, a sexy straight woman on the set. Co-presented by MadfFemmePride.
Mistaken identity plotlines are so not my cuppa, but I enjoyed this.  Read more...Collapse )

***

Coming Soon: XXY, The Curiosity of Chance
Gay & Lesbian Film Festival
Film
Black,White + Grey: A Portrait of Sam Wagstaff and Robert Mapplethorpe
[IMDb]
4:15 pm
Saturday, May 10, 2008

Remis Auditorium

Black, White + Grey: A Portrait of Sam Wagstaff and Robert Mapplethorpe by James Crump (2007, 72 min.). Yale-educated and born into wealth, Sam Wagstaff's transformation from innovative museum curator to Robert Mapplethorpe's lover and patron is explored in Black, White + Gray. During the 1970s and '80s, the New York art scene was abuzz with a new spirit, and Mapplethorpe was at its center. Wagstaff pulled Mapplethorpe from his suburban Queens existence, gave him a camera, and brought him into his world, creating the artist whose infamous images provoked emotions ranging from awe to anger. In turn, Mapplethorpe introduced the starched-shirt Wagstaff to the world of drugs and gay S-and-M. Twenty-five years separated the lovers, but their symbiotic relationship endured throughout their lives.
Um, I don't really have a lot to say about this.  I was coming into it with basically no background, and a lot of it was just about art, but it was definitely interesting.

One unrelated thing which I found interesting was noticing that there are things I have visceral emotional reactions to -- they talked about Wagstaff's background and how he was in the Navy because that's what all people of his generation and class did, and hearing the words "Normandy" and "D-Day" was like this tug at my gut, even though I have no particular interest in WWII.

When Patti Smith said, "Robert was also sick," I realized the two men had AIDS.  The end of the film spoke briefly about how the art world was this very close community and so AIDS went through that community like a fire.  They ran this whole list of people in the art world who died of AIDS, and while I recognized almost no names, I gasped a little at "Alvin Ailey (2002)."

***

Coming Soon: XXY, A Jihad for Love
Gay & Lesbian Film Festival
Film
Red Without Blue
[IMDb]
6 pm
Saturday, May 10, 2008

Remis Auditorium

Red Without Blue by Brooke Sebold, Benita Sills, and Todd Sills (2007, 76 min.). A groundbreaking portrayal of gender, identity, and the bond of twinship, this film follows a pair of identical twins as one transitions from male to female. We witness Mark and Claire Farley and their parents over a period of three years, exploring the Farleys' struggle to redefine their family. Preceded by Whatever Suits You by Ashley Altadonna (2006, 7 min.). A suit becomes a dress, a boy becomes a girl, and all is right with the world. Co-presented by Massachusetts Transgender Political Coaltion, GenderCrash, TransCEND, Tiffany Club of New England, and Truth Serum Productions.
I wasn't a huge fan of Whatever Suits You.  The technique of opening with shots of a suit and then having narration over images of someone cutting up and sewing together black cloth and ending with footage of a woman walking outside in a black dress is neat, but I wasn't really enjoying the narrator.  "I can be more sympathetic and nurturing ... adapted to have a more feminine perspective ..." it reminded of of stuff we read in Queer Studies about men who transitioned to women generations ago and were all high femme and their personality totally shifted and that was the way the culture understood it then and I just like so much better the culture we live in now where being female doesn't have to mean being stereotypically feminine.

So I was so very happy when the first shot we saw of the mtf in Red Without Blue she was sitting in a coffee shop or something wearing a regular shirt and pants, obviously having tits, blond hair about shoulder length, not heavily made up or super accessorized.  Clearly female, but not hyper-feminine.  Read more...Collapse )
11:57p
Prince Caspian (C. S. Lewis) reread
At church group [CAUMC young adults] a couple weeks ago, Prince Caspian came up.  (Trelawney said she was really skeptical given the LWW movie, where she felt like they made the one battle scene the biggest part of the movie.)  Despite having reread the Narnia Chronicles only about 3 years ago, I still really only remember The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, and secondarily The Last Battle and The Magician's Nephew.  So clearly I had to reread the book again. thoughtsCollapse )
11:58p
[Friday] in which i offend everyone
Yesterday felt like Friday, so today felt kind of like a fake day -- especially since it was so quiet at my end of the hall.  When I was wrapping up at the end of the day I literally almost forgot to turn off my computer, forgetting that no I was not coming back into the office the next day.
Teaching's over in exactly one week.  I look forward to the faculty reemerging from having been swallowed whole by the course.

***

gymCollapse )

***

On one of the tv screens at the gym this morning I saw "and baby makes 20: the return of the Duggans" (TODAY).  I cringed, of course, but I also thought about how sk8eeyore's been posting excerpts from Amy Laura Hall and such about being open to God's gift of life and not trying to control it.  Read more...Collapse )

I love this bit from the end of that last-linked interview with Amy Laura Hall (in which she's talking about the banquet passage in Luke -- my response was of course, "which banquet passage in Luke?" but I assume she means Luke 14: 7-24):
This is something that my students get more riled up about than any other topic that I bring up. I swear, in some ways, abortion and homosexuality are less contentious among my students than the issue of what kind of wedding to have, what kind of wedding banquet to plan. The way that young Protestant couples plan their weddings bodes very ill for the kind of family they are hoping to become. You watch what a wedding is often about these days -- it is about displaying one's wealth to those one is eager to impress. If you think instead about the scriptural wedding itself, about being the open banquet that one hopes one's marriage will be, I think weddings would look a lot different than they do. I think they would be on a Sunday morning service where everyone is invited. I think they would look more like a potluck than the kind of catered extravagances toward which even the middle class is climbing. I think the image of the banquet where the blind and the lame are invited, and those who cannot repay us, that image would be one in which to start a marriage.
***

I was browsing Christianity Today [which I hadn't realized until today is "a magazine of evangelical conviction"] online ('cause I remembered that someone on Sunday had mentioned that Will got quoted) and I saw a a link to a blogpost about evangelicals and the GLBT Day of Silence.  It included:
In addition to boycott, protest, and the creation of an alternative, the Day of Silence saw another response from evangelical Christians--participation. The Golden Rule Pledge is promoted by Grove City College Psychology Professor Warren Throckmorton as an option for "straight Christian and conservative students [who] are conflicted about this day. They do not affirm homosexual behavior but they also loathe disrespect, harrassment or violence toward any one, including their GLBT peers." Read more...Collapse )
11:59p
[Saturday] In other news, it didn't rain today after all.
When I came home from the MFA on Friday night, GMail wouldn't load for me, so since my day's draft was in there and it was like 11pm, I opted for bed.

However, on my way to bed OriginalRoomie stopped me to tell me that the landlord had been showing the apartment that evening (which she had called me earlier in the day to give me a heads up about) and that he was talking about clean slate -- about not renewing my lease in August and just starting fresh.  Do not want.  Yes this place is really designed for a single family rather than three housemates, but I like it here and do not want to have to find a new place.  Worst case scenario I could move back in with my parents temporarily, so it's not like I need to panic about being homeless.  But really, it's stress I do not need.  I don't want to have to show the apartment, I don't want to have to find a new apartment.  I want Heather and Katie to find replacements for themselves and have everything take care of itself smoothly.

Amusingly, just the other day Prof.D. had me make color copies of an advertisement for their former Somerville condo (they just bought a house in Newton).  He said, "Thank you so much.  And if you'd like to buy a condo, that would be great."

***

Saturday, I was thinking about discerning whether I should fight to stay here or let myself be guided to somewhere else -- though it's not like the two are mutually exclusive.  And pondering looking into realtors.

I think I was more preoccupied with emotional shit, though.  I literally cried a little bit -- which surprised me, because there have been plenty of times in recent months that I've been torn up about something and have thought, "If I could have a good cathartic cry I might feel better," and haven't actually cried.  I have a pretty good understanding of what I'm upset about and why it was hitting me hard (partly it's just that it's stuff out of my control, and I'm guessing that the apartment thing made it hit critical mass ... I'm not spiraling into a depressive episode or anything, don't worry), but I was taken by surprise by this intense emotional reaction.

Depressingly, "Hey Love" by Shaggy was in my head.

So I played Disney villainess "Cell Block Tango" on YouTube (via musesfool).  The lip syncing is at times phenomenal.
I also watched 3 different Disney princess versions, but none of them worked quite as well for me.

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