October 29th, 2008

hug

"the winter here is cold..."

I had an actual update entry, with stuff about the upcoming election and everything... but I had class tonight, and L. came in late with dark circles under her eyes and she says her roommates are being emotionally abusive and she has 10 months left on the lease and she found a place she could sign the lease on tomorrow, but her roommates don't want her to leave without having someone to fill her spot, so they want to just show her room and she can leave when they find someone.  She could just leave now and pay double rent, but so long as she's paying rent there's no motivation for them to find a replacement so she'd basically just be paying off her entire remaining lease.  I literally said I wanted to give her the money.  Obviously she wouldn't take it.  It would be half her savings (which given that she wants to move back to California, and given the economy... giving up that much money is huge) and honestly it's about half of mine, too, but watch me not care.  I said I would literally make her a copy of my house key and she could come by any time she needed to get away.  She said I barely know her -- her roommates have known her longer than I have.  But before I could even say anything she said, "Yeah, I know, we click" -- which is true.  I said that if she turns out to be a serial killer, my bad... I trust my judgment of people.  I said that it sounds too paternalistic to say I want to take care of people, but...  "But you collect strays," she said.  I think that's more Jules than me, but I was willing to go with it.  I didn't elaborate at the time, but I just... I fall hard for people so easily (while at the same time I really rankle at huge swaths of the people I encounter), and when they're hurting in some way I want to fix it.

"sometimes i see things / like fear and want to soothe it" -from "Poem (for EMA)" by Nikki Giovanni

Oh, I forgot about this tag.
Every night when I watch you sleep
I want to watch over you forever
Keep you safe with me
And I wish I could promise you a beautiful world
That would never break your heart
Maybe that’s what we are here for
We try and fix what comes apart

Love takes the best of you