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burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness
 
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Monday, February 2nd, 2009

Time Event
10:20a
"just a few more weary days and then"
My desk is a mess with a gazillion piles of papers, and I have stupid expense stuff to deal with, and I know that I will feel better about myself (not to mention actually make progress) if I just dig in and do it, but I am wicked freaking avoidant. Ugh, I hate being disorganized and/or behind on stuff.

I also think the lack of sufficient socialization that nurtures me continues to be bad for me.

(Nothing like having friends who are clinically depressed to make one particularly attentive to signs that one might be symptomatic as well.)

"I am a bright, brilliant, beloved child of God, and I am beautiful to behold."

Heh, L. emailed me this morning saying in part, "[friend] and I used to talk almost every day, and I would [...]" and the Google sidebar prompts me:
Would you like to...
Add to calendar
talk almost and I woul...
Daily
1:40p
because it occurs to me that this might help
my thread at mrsronweasley's "The Big Dead of Winter Pick-Me Up Love Meme!"
11:34p
// I don't want to live on the moon //
Lacking anything more apropos, post title is from this because Jonah mentioned it.

***

Last Sunday, Courtney (sp?) at CHPC asked if anyone was having a Super Bowl party and I was like, "Oh, I think my friend Jess who would usually host such a thing said she's gonna be out of town."  I had literally forgotten that the Super Bowl would be coming up.  At lunch the next day at work, folks were talking about the upcoming Super Bowl and so I asked who was playing.  Upon hearing Pittsburgh Steelers and Arizona Cardinals I thought, "The Arizona Cardinals?  Didn't we play them in baseball?"  Yeah, I was thinking of the Arizona Diamondbacks -- and the St. Louis Cardinals.

My flist is apparently similarly uninterested..  (Has anyone even mentioned who won the Super Bowl?  Not that I rely on my flist for all my news -- I mean, okay I mostly do, but for stuff like this I also have the metro on my morning commute -- but it just entertains me that basically no one was invested in the result enough to post about it.)

From yesterday:
fox1013: Is there a particular team I should be rooting for? I ask this like I'm not just going to be watching the Puppy Bowl, which is a lie, but I don't even know what teams are playing and I feel I probably... should? Or something?

cidercupcakes: You should be rooting for Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band!

...what, the halftime act could totally surprise everyone and win it.
Also seen on the flist, post title "Steelers & Cardinals open for Springsteen"

I haven't seen many of the Super Bowl commercials.  Any recommendations?

***

I went to give blood after work today.  My iron needs to be 12.5 and it was 13.5.  My blood pressure was 110/88, and my pulse was 66.  I do not have awesome blood-giving veins, but the last 2 times I've gone to give blood I haven't had serious difficulties.  This time my blood was coming out really slowly (I guess I was not sufficiently hydrated?) and they need you to be done in under 20 minutes (otherwise they start to worry about clotting in the tube).  Le sigh.

***

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]


Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine
     -"You Are Mine" (David Haas)


Five good things about today:
1. This afternoon I was feeling mopey, so I went downstairs to get something with chocolate from the vending machine.  It told me "Transaction Invalid" and "Card Deleted."  It's beautiful out, so walking over to Spangler isn't exactly a hardship, but…  I emailed Ian to be like, "have they not calibrated the vending machines for the new ID cards?" and he replied (in part), "Well i'm sorry to give you the news, but they did talk about staff cuts at the last faculty meeting, and I think this is their way of giving the news to you….. "  I LOL'ed.
2. [redacted, v. 2]
3. I am loved.  This is included in #2, but I also wanted to say it explicitly.  Plus, I am demonstrably loved by other folks today as well.
4. I called Ari while waiting for the bus back from blood donation and told her all about my day, and then we drafted our "25 Random Things About Me" posts aloud to each other.  (I think the most "us" moment was each of us trying to list all the churches we've each been to, largely utilizing LJ tags.)  After 2 hours and 55 minutes on the phone, she posted hers and I let her go get ready for bed.
5. My cup runneth over.  So much more chocolate than I was expecting (and the abundant generous love that implies), and my best friend, and folks who oblige me on the love meme, and an email from my mom that almost made me cry (in a good way).

Three things I did well today:
1. gymCollapse )
2. I took care of a bunch of the expense stuff (albeit not all of it) and contacted people about getting together.
3. I successfully found St John's Church in Watertown and was cooperative and gracious throughout the whole blood donation process.

Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:
["anything that you're looking forward to, that means you're facing tomorrow with joy, not trepidation," as Ari says]
1. CWM Lenten Worship Planning
2. finishing my "25 Random Things About Me" post

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