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burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness
 
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Wednesday, February 25th, 2009

Time Event
10:04p
[CWM] Ash Wednesday [2009-02-25]
I walked in to the church (I had checked my email, so I knew it was in the chapel, but the exterior chapel door was actually locked) and Tiffany saw me and said, "You decided to do Ash Wednesday with us this year." I, slightly confused, said, "Didn't I do Ash Wednesday service here last year?" and she said I might well have, but that this year I had sounded like I wasn't very into it (later it occurred to me that she was probably thinking of the Lenten Worship Planning Meeting wherein I talked about how I didn't grow up observing Lent and how while there are various things I've really adopted in my recent years of churching, I haven't really latched on to Lent). I said, "Well I figured I'd go to Ash Wednesday service somewhere, I just hadn't decided where."

She had to go take care of some pre-service stuff, but said the chapel was all prepared if I wanted to go in and pray.

I noticed the altar drapes were white and gold -- oh yeah, it's a high holy day.

Leyalyn and Telynia (Tallessyn's little girls, aged 3 and ... 6?) are beautiful and adorable. Leyalyn had rainbow striped pants, and they both had light-up sneakers and black t-shirts that lit up (High School Musical t-shirts, I suspect).

In attendance were: Tiffany, me, Tallessyn (music director) and her husband and children, Tyler (one of our interns -- and did a bunch of the readings in the service, plus helping with Communion), Michele (one of our lay leaders -- though she wasn't actually helping to lead service tonight), and Trelawney. I forget how sparse attendance is for services other than our usual Sunday evening ones.

***

Prelude and Silent Meditation
"Come, kindred, let us consider the dust and ashes of which we were formed. What is the reality of our present life and what shall we become tomorrow?"
-Verses During the Last Kiss: Funeral of the Dead, Orthodox Liturgy


Read more...Collapse )
10:11p
"Help us walk this Lent together, seeking truth and seeking You..."
"The number you have dialed is not in service."  I was talking to Gillian last night, and she commented that once when her phone was near the end of its life it was giving a "not accepting incoming calls" message, even though she could call out fine.  This lends credence to that.

+

I decided to read one psalm a day (with the goal to actually read it reflectively and meditatively) as my Lenten spiritual discipline. I figured I'd just read the first forty Psalms (well, more than 40, since I don't take Sundays off from Lenten discipline the rare years that I do it), since I don't have any sort of "reading the Psalms" book and it's a bit late to acquire one for this year, but Alixtii mentioned "The Psalms (from the Daily Office)," so I Googled Daily Office, and I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that dailyoffice.org exists.

+

I had dinner at Mr. Crepe (Nutella+banana+almonds again) and felt like I'd had my own little Mardi Gras.

I called Ari and walked along the bikepath and then just walked up and down streets, maintaining enough sense of direction to get myself back to church with time to spare before Ash Wednesday service.

I forgot that there is actually a whole worship service (no sermon but yes Children's Time), including Communion and everything.  The crosses on our foreheads are thick dark and striking.  I like thinking about Lent as a time of preparation, even a time of starting over -- and was thinking about how many opportunities we get in the various calendars to let go of the things that have been weighing on us, have been keeping us from God, and to rededicate ourselves, reorient ourselves.

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]


"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." -from 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

Five good things about today:
1. This morning, Ranjan was heading over to Spangler and asked me if I wanted anything, and I actually did.  Yay for yogurt parfait delivered to me.
2. Taking online typing tests [typingtest.com] reminds me that yeah, I do actually type well.  (My mom can type at actual dictation speed -- and I expect with much better accuracy than me ... though even though my accuracy goes down when I'm under pressure, it was still apparently above 80% -- so when people comment that I type quickly, I'm often a bit thrown, but my wmp of <70 Net / 80+ Gross is apparently better than average.)
3. RC NEG teaching binders got distributed.  I borrowed Katie's at one point last year to read the cases, 'cause I had finally started having an interest in what it is that we do here, and I don't think I got through the whole binder, but there are only a few new things this year, so it's not like I'm gonna be reading the entire binder.  In all that free time I have, I know.
4. [CWM Ash Wednesday service] Leyalyn and Telynia are beautiful and adorable.
5. I get to go to bed like right now.

Three things I did well today:
1. I did all my requisite morning stuff (I'm better at requiring myself to eat breakfast [provided I'm hungry enough] and brush and floss my teeth than I am at requiring myself to get up with my alarm, which is problematic) and went to the gymCollapse )
2. I gave Sara a hug.  (It was a bit of a morning, and she was looking a bit worn out, so I asked if I could give her a hug, and she gratefully accepted.  When we were walking out at the end of the day, I asked how she was feeling about tomorrow, and said she should feel free to ask me if there was anything I could do to help -- "whether that's 'can you check this Excel sheet?' or 'can I have a hug?' " -- and she said, "Both of those were amazing today."  I like that I'm starting to feel more like we're actual friends.)
3. I did laundry, and dishes.

Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:
["anything that you're looking forward to, that means you're facing tomorrow with joy, not trepidation," as Ari says]
1. Lunch with Sarah [whom I feel needs a unique identifier, so as to not confuse her with sk8eeyore, sarah_p, RA!Sara, etc.].
2. "Sacred Eros" at ASC.

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