Wednesday morning I was telling my mom that I have managed to read a Psalm each day (my Lenten discipline this year) though some days I only barely remember to read a Psalm, and I've barely been meditative about it since like Day 2.
Wednesday night after I went to bed I remembered that I hadn't read a Psalm yet that day. Given that my headache was making me want to throw up, I opted to stay in bed.
I was glad to feel well today. But I didn't do like anything at work. I'm still being avoidant about certain things, plus I'm crap at putting my downtime to any use even non-work stuff like church writeups. This needs to stop.
I met Ross at Starbucks after work -- and he bought me a drink :) We discussed Jesus' death on the cross, salvation (including the importance of "faith"), Biblical authority, etc. (I learned that he actually grew up United Methodist
-- though I didn't have opportunity to ask how he came to be an American Baptist.) I was reminded that I am so ill-equipped to argue Biblical support for my universal salvation stance, but it made me want to read the New Testament with an eye to that question (and if anyone wants to suggest useful resources, of course I'd welcome that). And he said he'd like to make this [us getting together for conversation] a regular thing -- weekly or biweekly or something, asked if I was coming on Sunday and said we could discuss on Sunday when would be a good time to meet again. I felt like he dominated the conversation a bit much for my taste, but on the whole he really did want to hear what I had to say.
Even though in a lot of ways I was frustrated with our conversation because I felt like I wasn't able to really make the case for the stuff I believe, I felt so energized and happy coming off of it. When I showed up at CAUMC and Sean asked how I was, I didn't say, "One of the people I love most in the world is in jail," because what I wanted to talk about was how I've been even more all-church-all-the-time recently and how happy that makes me.
At CAUMC tonight we watched NOOMA 09 "Bulhorn." I wanted to pushback on what I saw as a strawman of Bullhorn Guy and talk about the issue of "What do we believe the Bible teaches us about eternal salvation?" but Sean's opening question was what we thought about the assertion that the central message of Jesus was love and and if that's what draws us to Christianity, and we got talking about how it can be hard to figure out how best to act out of love, specifically in helping in an economic sense, and it wasn't a bad conversation, but after we'd done Affirmations and Closing Prayer I said the conversation I was interested in having in reaction to the video and asked if we would be okay with having that conversation next week, and folks easily assented and Sean and I agreed that I would email him more specifics about the particular direction of conversation I was interested in.
I got home about twenty past ten, replied to an email from Beloved #2 -- and then L. called me. She was feeling really down, and I feel so helpless, but yeah I know that just listening is important and helpful. She felt better partway through our conversation (thanks to an email she got) and eventually asked after me, though wow she quickly refocuses things on her (and not in the good ways that like Megan-mjules and I do) and she recognized it after a bit and apologized but I don't know how to handle that, because she is
really broken so I'm always hesitant to be critical, but of course it's a bad habit that for long-term positive relationships in general she should be working on. Sigh.
She couldn't believe that Norfolk County wasn't north of Suffolk County, so I ended up reading about it on Wikipedia
We were on the phone for two hours, and I'm grateful that I'm only just now feeling fadey (though I'm sure I'll feel the repercussions in the light of day).
***"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Five good things about today:
1. Amy brought in Dunkin' Donuts, and I had a chocolate frosted one with gooey filling that was quite tasty.
2. feeling so happy after conversation with Ross
3. CAUMC is comfortable and familiar.
4. hearing L. laugh and be happy
5. It being light out so much apparently really does make me happy.
Three things I did well today:
1. I got up with my alarm, ate breakfast at home and brushed+flossed my teeth, and went to the ( gymCollapse )
2. I helped dry dishes at CAUMC.
3. I lifted up a topic I wanted to discuss in a way that didn't sound controlling or like I was dismissing the topic that we did discuss.
Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:["anything that you're looking forward to, that means you're facing tomorrow with joy, not trepidation," as Ari says]
1. ice-skating with L.
2. L.A. Burdick thereafter