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burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness
 
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Sunday, March 22nd, 2009

Time Event
12:35a
[Saturday]
The first time I woke up this morning was about quarter of nine, and I didn't get up until almost noon.  Clearly my choice to not plan on going to Temple was the correct one (especially since gee I'm up late tonight).  I didn't feel like I'd wasted half my day, though what with walking to the supermarket and back and going to meet Cate for the evening, I didn't have a whole lot of time to do much of any of what I'd planned/hoped to get done (and I should really do some housecleaning).

Both times I walked down to Davis Square this afternoon, I noticed crocuses and thought of you, Allie.

Last night, Cate said something about how she and I were going to have an extended date tonight (meaning that we were going to dinner and a show plus a pre-show talk thing) and my housemate asked, "Is there going to be hot lesbian sex in my apartment tomorrow night?"

One of the things Cate and I ended up chatting about at Mr. Crepe was the Making The Faith Our Own series at FCS and how this coming Wednesday the topic is sexuality (my not-at-all-secret desire for the night is to work on articulating a coherent Christian sexual ethics inclusive of queer, kinky, poly, etc. folks; conversation tonight reminded me that another controversial topic I care about in this realm is porn) and somewhere we got talking about Arisia and its abundance of panels on poly, which of course makes me want to actually go to Arisia.  (I also wondered whether next year's panels would reflect RaceFail09, since Arisia is an sff con.)

Unrelated: Cate and I are looking at going to The Winter's Tale (Shakespeare) Fri. Apr. 24 or Fri. May 1.  Anyone wanna come with?  (And if so, do you have a date preference?)

***

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Five good things about today:
1. Sleep!
2. Psalm 24
3. Time with Cate.
4. Bravo production of Coriolanus.
5. Michele sent the script for the Readers Theatre.

Three things I did well today:
1. I washed dishes.
2. I picked up some groceries.
3. I did laundry.

Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:
["anything that you're looking forward to, that means you're facing tomorrow with joy, not trepidation," as Ari says]
1. SCBC adult ed about the miracle at the wedding at Cana
2. CWM
11:32p
* Lent 2009: Wednesday 3 [2009-03-18]
Near the end of the workday, I was feeling hungry, but I decided that I would take Communion as like breaking a fast.

The Sacred Text was the cleansing of the Temple, which I recognized from the preceding Sunday.

Keith said that we would do prayers in four parts -- prayers for our world and our nation, prayers for our community and loved ones, prayers for ourselves, and thanksgivings -- and that after each prayer was lifted up aloud, we would respond, "God, hear our prayer."

We put out I think 15 chairs and I ended up pulling out an extra one during Prayers (so I didn't get to lift up my Thanksgivings) when Tara and Gary came in from setting up for house church.

***
Subject: [FirstChurch Mailing List] Lenten house-church tonight: suffering, poverty, justice

Things are tough all over, Beloved, but we know that they are tougher for some than for others, as it has always been. What is a Christian to do with the suffering in the world? Is the Kingdom to come now, based on our activity in the cosmos? What is that activity?

Tonight, we gather, for deeper, smaller church. Rest and Bread at 6p; simple homemade supper at 7p; conversation about scripture, Christian social teaching (think: liberation theology and the social gospel) and our own experience/revelation from God on this critical issue. Let's make it our own.

hope to see you there!
blessings
Molly
Read more...Collapse )

***

On Friday, I saw a friend mention a Radio National "Encounter" program called "Ashes," looking at the Book of Job. Transcript and audio available here. Excerpts: Read more...Collapse )
11:42p
[Sunday] "I couldn't leave her if I tried"
Jesus, Savior, Lord, lo, to thee I fly:
Saranam, Saranam, Saranam;
Thou the Rock, my refuge that's higher than I:
Saranam, Saranam, Saranam.
I was close to having given up on getting a response from Someone, but I actually got one this morning.  And it wasn't the angry response I was expecting, It was, in fact, mostly "Yes, I realize that you've been trying really hard and I haven't been trying at all."  in which I go on about process -- mostly for my own referenceCollapse )

***

CWM-Carolyn's back, and she missed me, and I hugged her lifting her up during Passing of the Peace, and during dinner she asked me how I was and I said I was doing okay, that I've been worried about a friend of mine for a few weeks but I was feeling better -- that I was still concerned, but it was less of an emotional drain on me recently -- and that I'd finally gotten a response from a friend and I talked about that in the vague way that I do, and she talked about some of her stuff, and then I was like, "Yeah, my friend that I've been worried about..." and I did my little spiel, and she just kinda nodded -- not in a way where I felt like she wasn't hearing me, but just in a way in which she wasn't hearing it as a big dramatic scary thing, which I suspect was largely because of how I was talking about it.  I hadn't initially intended to tell her about it at all, and I didn't want to get into a big serious Thing about it right then, so the way that she responded to it was really good for that moment, but I was really interested by the experience since it's so not the response I've gotten from anyone else (though as I said, it's also not the way I've presented it to anyone else).

During group after dinner, she was standing and at one point I walked over to behind her and started rubbing her back (I used to do this all the time to friends, and I'm not sure why I stopped) and after I was done she rubbed my back/neck/arms, which was really nice, especially since I so rarely get that reciprocated.

***

During Prayers of the People at CWM, Cara said something like, "I already lifted this up in prayer this morning, so I hope it's okay if I mention it here, too."  One of her joys was celebrating her 15th anniversary of being diagnosed with diabetes, and I loved that she turned that into such a bubbling over joyful occasion.  (Also, her friends made her a cake shaped like an insulin container, complete with realistic-looking syringes made out of frosting.)

Cara also got to be my new favorite person for being so insightful in finding ways to make everything fit neatly when we were returning things to the office, and before that there had been some disagreement about how to do a project and I kept saying "My impression was..." and not being heard, and she told me that at one point she was going to say, "I think everyone should listen to Elizabeth," but then she started laughing and so she couldn't.  When she told me that, I said that if she had said that I would have been laughing so much I wouldn't have been able to speak.

***

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Five good things about today:
1. Getting a really good email from a dear friend.
2. Ross wants to get together and chat theology again (this time about gendered God-language -- in a totally generous, "If I'm going to be a pastor, I need to be aware of and understand ways in which people experience God-language" way).
3. I have a dispensation from Sean to go to Arlington Street this Thursday instead of to CAUMC.
4. Cara and Carolyn at CWM tonight.
5. This.

Three things I did well today:
1. I went to morning church(es) even though what I really wanted to do was stay home and obsessively draft a reply to an email.
2. I remembered to read a Psalm today.
3. I emailed Jeff about book group.

Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:
["anything that you're looking forward to, that means you're facing tomorrow with joy, not trepidation," as Ari says]
1. I dunno, getting caught up on some personal stuff because it may be a slow day at work? (I'm so hesitant to make predictions about what work is gonna be like)
2. phone call with Ari

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