A little, almost throwaway, thing in an email this morning totally set me off. I clearly do not do well with unresolved issues. I messaged Megan and then went and did some work projects, the latter of which really helped to keep me from dwelling. And then I went outside to get second breakfast because I was hungry. I kept singing "I will follow you all of my days" -- 'cause it was what was in my head. Yeah, having songs for our faith is of the good. By the time Megan came back from Away, I felt calmer and more distanced, but of course I wanted to tell her about why I'd been cranky and in the telling I got myself all worked up again. (I drafted
4 versions of an email today.) Sigh.
I think I'm back to being avoidant about a lot of work stuff. I don't feel
as actively avoidant, but I think I still am
Katie was still at work when I stopped by her desk and the end of the day, and I feel like I've barely seen her this week, so I stayed with her until she left.
Jonah wasn't feeling well, so I was no longer tied to the Boylston St. ABP, so I'd decided to go to Mr. Crepe for dinner. Katie and I ended up not leaving the office until nearly 5:30, so I was worried about getting to ASC by 7, but I decided that a crepe would make me much happier than ABP mac&cheese, so I went and ordered to-go. While I was waiting, I thought I saw Nicki (former HBS coworker of 2 years, now in her first year at Tufts Fletcher School). I decided it wasn't actually her, but then she was like, "Elizabeth!" So we chatted and caught up. She continues to be is relentlessly upbeat. Anytime I said anything that was vaguely negative (I tried to be vague/diplomatic, because it's not my place to share other people's complaints with someone with whom we have a shared context when I'm not certain what the fallout of that might be) she like immediately reframed in a more positive light (and anything neutral I said, she framed as positive) -- though when I told her the news about NEG next year she got like a permanent 0.0 expression on her face. She was taking the Fungwa to NYC for a conference, so we took the T together to Park Street.
Apparently I have overestimated how long it would take me to get to Arlington Street, because I think we left Mr. Crepe at like 6:05, and it was about 6:30 when I got out. I wasn't sure which exit I had taken last time, so I just went right because that felt right, and when I got out I saw an ABP and immediately knew where I was in relation to ASC. Conveniently, they had outdoor tables. (I would have taken my food inside ASC to eat, except that I had put my drink in my paper bag because it was really hot, and so of course it had spilled, and I'm not comfortable enough with ASC's layout to feel like I could just waltz in and find a table and cleanup napkins and suchlike.)
I feel like we (at "Sacred Eros") mostly all agree, which makes it kinda boring -- though no, we do not all wholly agree -- and I found myself wishing I had conservative friends I could bring, but I feel like the levels people would be coming from would be so far apart as to make conversation really difficult. (And "levels" has such implications that I'm not going for, but it feels like the best word I can think of.)
Afterward, Roza brought up our getting hot chocolate again -- which I was totally going to bring up, and yay for the affirmation boost of having the other party initiate plans to get together.
Waiting for the Red Line, I saw CWM-Michele across the tracks, but she was reading a book and I know she's always swamped with work and classes and church stuff and everything, so I probably wasn't gonna approach her. And then I was like, "Hey, that's Chris." And he was with Kieran (whom I had met at a session of Jeff's book group) and Rev.Steph (whom I had met the one time I went to a community forum at The Crossing) and this guy Michael (who's a software engineer and goes to like 4 churches a week -- clearly my kind of fellow). Rev.Steph was impressed that the book I was reading
was one I had gotten from a church study group (even with my caveat that we only did a couple of chapters).
***"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Five good things about today:
1. It was really lovely out. (Yesterday people kept saying, "It's so nice out," and I was like, "Um, okay." I mean, I didn't think it was not-nice out, but I wasn't particularly struck by it either, and I thought it was still cool enough that most people wouldn't be joyful about the weather, though it was sunny and such, so I didn't expect people to be complaining either.)
2. AAR meeting was actually useful.
3. Leftover free pizza.
4. I found out about bard_in_boston
via a d_s post
about The Winter's Tale
. (Apparently I have missed MIT's production of Pericles
5. Assorted interactions with people making me happy.
Three things I did well today:
1. I did most of my requisite morning stuff and went to the ( gymCollapse )
2. I did a work project before letting myself do more fun internet stuff. And I wrote myself a note to ask Prof.B. about something when he gets back.
3. Second day in a row that the only chocolate I consumed was stuff provided by other people. (I had started buying vending machine chocolate even when I didn't particularly want it, just because it was easy, and that's really not a healthy consumption pattern.)
4. I sent a whole bunch of emails after I got home tonight.
Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:["anything that you're looking forward to, that means you're facing tomorrow with joy, not trepidation," as Ari says]
1. phone call with Ari
2. going to bed at a reasonable time