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burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness
 
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Friday, June 5th, 2009

Time Event
11:59p
I ended up spending most of my morning at the gym watching SVU.  I watched the very end of Mercy, 4.14Collapse )  And then I ended up watching all of Perfect, 4.24Collapse )

***

A few weeks ago, Carolyn posted about finding a cheap place to get her hair cut, and I asked for details, and she said, "Lisa's is located at Comm Ave and Babcock Street. (HA! funny name) Anyway, it's got a puple awning that says "Lisa's" in white letters. I got a cut and shampoo for $20. I especially recommend it for you, Eliz, because you're hair is so easy to cut. You shouldn't be spending a fortune on trims!"

I hit the intersection of Brighton Ave. and Cambridge St. and decided to just walk up Cambridge St. (rather than walking over to Harvard Ave. and up to Comm. Ave.), figuring it should cross Comm. Ave.  Yeah, not so much.  After 15 minutes I was beginning to think I should just turn around when I saw Sparhawk, which I thought I recognized from when L. drove me out to Kristy and Leander's in Brighton, so I decided to keep going.  When I hit the big intersection of Washington St., I opted to turn onto Washington.  In part because I was like, "This street maybe has a B Line stop?"  When I hit Fidelis Way, I remembered that Kristy and Leander actually live on Washington St., right near the end of the street by the Comm. Ave. stop.  So instead of being 2 stops Outbound from where I wanted to be, I was 6 stops Outbound from where I wanted to be.  (And yeah, I did take the B Line rather than walking along Comm. Ave.)

My haircut cost $15 ('cause I didn't get it washed).  She cut it shorter in the front and longer in the back than I had asked for, but I like it (mostly).  I took the B Line to Park Street and walked to Downtown Crossing and spent a little time at TJMaxx and even less at H&M.  I do not enjoy shopping, and I was tired (not enough sleep, plus an hour of walking).  I actually took the Red Line back to Harvard and then waited for a #96 home, which I almost never do.

I came home to an email reply including an apology for yesterday.  And then while writing my reply to that email I had a crying fit.  I'm not sure exactly what's up with that, as I haven't felt really emotionally worked up since last Tuesday/Wednesday.  (Possibly it is that omfg I do not get to have this way fucking overdue conversation for 3 more fucking weeks?  It's not that I feel like I'm getting brushed off, I am just fucking tired of not getting to have this conversation.  I have also possibly accumulated more emotional stress these past 3+ months than I realize.)

Apparently I can walk from my house to Namaskar in ~20min when I am seething?  And then I waited outside for 15 minutes (Allie had texted me warning me she was going to be late).  So by the time we had ordered our food I was able to tell the story calmly.  And Allie was exactly the right amount of sympathetic (the thing I hate most about venting about people I love, is that often the listener gets more upset with the person than I am so I have to defend the person).  And she also had a helpful suggestion re: Ian that I hadn't thought of and ditto re: Terry.  Sympathetic AND helpful, here let us model this for you /snark

Allie reminded me that the phrase "interrogating the text from the wrong perspective" comes from the Ann Rice wank (this is the first hit when you Google that phrase).

***

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]


"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come.  You wait and watch and work: you don't give up." --Anne Lamott

Good things about today:
  • I went to check in with FUH before leaving at noon (per the Dean's okay), and the first thing he said when I walked into his office was that oh we need to pick dates for me to come up to Frenchboro :)
  • I called Carolyn during lunch to see if she was around, and it turns out she's working 40 hours/week, but she was pleased to hear from me esp. as she was sorting the mail which she says is a tedious lonely task.
  • About three and a half hours of conversation with Allie :)
Things I did well today:
  • I went to the gymCollapse )
  • I filled out a form and tracked down an article.
  • I did not actually call anyone and YELL at them.
Things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:
["anything that you're looking forward to, that means you're facing tomorrow with joy, not trepidation," as Ari says]
  • LizL's ordination
  • lunch with Chris
  • Jeremy and Chelsea's going-away party

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