August 8th, 2009

face up (and sing)

Where to Draw the Line (Anne Katherine, 2000) [2009-08-08]

Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day by Anne Katherine

This wasn't particularly an epiphany book, but it did find it useful for articulating and reminding me of things I already kind of knew -- though by about halfway through I was less into it.

(I also feel like most/many situations aren't as clear-cut as the examples the author gives, but I recognize that they're intended to provide models.)

I really liked the idea about boundaries as being like cell membranes -- keeping some things out and letting some things in, in a healthy and balanced fashion.

I also really liked the idea that we should structure our lives based on what WE value, not on what other people think we should value.

I found the chapter on Making Amends helpful with its reminder to be really attentive to the harm you have done to the other person and making amends in kind.

One interesting thing: the author talks about nicknaming someone against their express wishes as a boundary violation.

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still mostly radio silent

So, I told Melissa this morning that I think I'm not going to PiCon.

I'm still recovering from WriterCon and I think I'd like to have that weekend at home.

There are blocks of time where I'm not interested in any of the programming, and maybe I could make arrangements with Emma to hang out, but I'm not sure how feasible that would be.

I am also not excited about being Internet-less (yes, a laptop is so on my To Purchase list), though N. said he'll have his laptop but won't be using it most of the weekend so I'd be welcome to use it, which is sweet of him.


I still don't have quite the energy/focus/whatever to do much of the productive stuff I'd like to do (like assorted writeup posts and responding to comments), which displeases me.

I've been better than I sometimes am (though still not optimal) about getting enough sleep this week, and I wonder if some of it is that I've been expending more emotional energy than I realize.  (Though I think some of it at least is that with the warm-and-humid weather we've been having, the sleep I've been getting hasn't been optimal -- though last night and today have been lovely.)

I have also been borderline sick this week -- I blame my housemate, who was trufac sick last weekend and still isn't fully recovered.  It's mostly just feeling a little coughy and sniffly after I wake up; when I'm at work or whatever I'm fine.

I really did think about calling my grandma this evening (and practicing that whole boundary thing by keeping it to like 30 minutes or whatever) since my mom's out of town, but I just didn't have the energy.

Edit: I did talk to Lorraine on the phone for an hour and a quarter because I apparently absolutely have the energy for explaining the dynamics of the past two years and why I feel good about things going forward (I was also reminded, for the second time today, that I have lots of friends who will tell me when they're concerned that a relationship I'm in isn't good for me).
  • Current Music
    Heather Clark - "I Have Learned" (mjules' "Chasing the Storm" fantrack)