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burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness
 
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Monday, August 17th, 2009

Time Event
9:14p
"The play's already started. That's not the point."
At lunch today, Greg mentioned that how you FEEL in a dream is more important than what HAPPENS in the dream, which makes sense but which I'd never thought about before.

It made me think of how last Wednesday I dreamed a bunch of really disturbing (and even terrifying) things but felt really detached (emotionally), like I was watching these things and recognizing the emotional import but not feeling it myself.  Which I guess is a good thing?
9:15p
Five thousand entries? When did that happen?
Created on 2002-04-01 17:23:50 (#513957), last updated 2009-08-18
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I hung out with Allie yesterday afternoon, and she asked me about WriterCon.  I said that one problem is that I've been really fandom adjacent in recent years.

I said that during the Fandom Roundtable, I found myself thinking, "Yes, so in fandom as in church, the stories we tell are so important," and I knew that what I really wanted to be talking about was Christianity.

I told Allie that it was weird, because when I'm in the "real world," I feel like fandom is where I live -- that the ways I engage with texts are so rooted in that, for example, and it's literally sometimes weird to me.

Allie said, "Fandom is where you come from, it's just not where you live right now."  So true.

On Friday, a friend of mine was saying that Burn Notice is on its third episode ("season," I corrected him) and hasn't been nominated for an Emmy.  I started talking about how I've learned that the Emmys are so ridiculous ... "Buffy didn't get an Emmy nom until its fifth season," and he laughed, and I said, "You mock," in this tone that implied I would fight him if he did, but he said, "No, you know all the lingo..."

[Addendum/Correction: It was actually nominated for "Hush," which was Season Four; I think I'd been thinking of "The Body" -- which did not get an Emmy nod.  And yes I know it got lots of noms for makeup and whatever, but I wasn't thinking of that at the time, because when people say Emmy noms they mean like writing/directing/acting.]

Though the past few weeks, my energy has been sapped by the weather and by loving people through their pain, so even church isn't necessarily where I live this days.
9:16p
apparently church is still one of the things I can talk about at great length
Ari was talking about planning a Morning Prayer service and said something about the service needing to include a Gospel reading, because you can pare down a service a lot but it has to contain a Gospel reading.

This was bizarre to me.  I mean, it makes me a little uncomfortable when the Sacred Text at Rest and Bread isn't actually from the Bible (though yes, God is still speaking, I know), but the Gospel specifically?

We talked about the High Church practice of revering the Gospel, and I am weirded out by that practice (the bowing, responsories, etc. at the Presentation of Scripture) generally, but doing it only for the Gospel rather than for all the Scripture readings makes me even more uncomfortable.  (I can understand privileging the New Testament, because we are Christians.  And I get that the Gospels are closer to the Word Incarnate -- I grew up with a Red Letter Bible and everything.  But institutionalizing a canon-within-the-canon?  Inherently makes me uncomfortable.)

I do continue to really like using a lectionary, because it keeps you from just preaching on the bits you're comfortable with -- though I wish the lectionary got through more of the Bible (a 5-year lectionary rather than a 3-year one?); I was telling Ari tonight that since most churchgoers' only Bible reading is going to be hearing the Word proclaimed on Sunday morning, I would like for someone who has attended church regularly for an entire lectionary cycle to come away with a sense of the totality of the Bible.

We also talked about sermons being posted to church websites, and apparently not only do I think the Web Person (I kept wanting to say Web Elf, TM Neil Gaiman) should HTML-ify the sermon, but guest preachers should at least be invited to submit their sermon text to be posted to the website --  because the main point of posting the sermons to the church website is "If you couldn't make it to church, here's the important part."  As soon as I said it, I was like, "Huh, I just said that."  I said, "I go to church -- rather than just listening to podcasts -- for Prayers of the People and Passing of the Peace and Fellowship, but apparently part of me still has that instinctive response that the sermon is the core."  My low church roots, let me show you them :)
10:12p
I do not do well with being off-the-grid.
Okay, I think I need to buy a laptop before I go to Convo.

Even leaving aside my obsessive need to be in connection (ironic use of UMC jargon?) with Certain People, I also think -- given how I've been feeling in recent weeks -- that I'm going to need to have the option of escaping and recharging.  And yes I could bring some good books, but I think being able to be on the internet (by which I mostly mean email and LJ, but also blogs) would be really good for me.

I am considering a tiny white laptop (Asus EEE).  Thoughts?

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