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burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness
 
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Thursday, December 31st, 2009

Time Event
10:14p
"God gives snow like wool; God scatters frost like ashes."
Morning prayer service, I did both readings (de-masculinizing the language on the fly, so I wasn't entirely happy with the results):

Psalm 147:12-20
John 8:12-19

I accidentally read through verse 20 in John by accident (that's how the paragraph ends!).  Someone asked if this was when Jesus was 12 -- which it isn't.  Ellie said that was the reading this past Sunday (I'm glad some church did Christmas 1 this past Sunday).  FCS-Ian commented that it's interesting that when he was 12, the religious leaders were impressed by him but once he started challenging them, then they were questioning him and trying to get rid of him.

The responsive was Psalm 97 (in the New Century Hymnal).

Afterward, I kindly asked to be locked in to the building and was obliged, so I didn't have to go hermit at Starbucks or something :)  [Keith was joking yesterday that we should turn the church into a wireless cafe -- because before Rest and Bread I was on my laptop on the phone with Carolyn making plans for today, and the last time he'd seen me I'd been on my laptop in the chapel before Cantata Sunday.]  Though while I'm increasingly hooked on wi-fi, I'm still not really comfortable using my eee for more than casual surfing level of actvity -- because of the keyboard and the fact that I keep accidentally dragging tabs out and accidentally zooming in/out (which I still can't figure out how to do on purpose, so I can't undo it).

Carolyn and I had some difficulty finding her ZipCar in the University Park lot (sidebar: she had a Prius yesterday and way prefers it to the Civic we had today) and then we hit snow around 10:30, so we got into Northampton significantly later than we had planned, but so it goes.  (God bless the parking garage!  We parked for 2hrs38min for $1!!!)

We stopped and Pride & Joy first.

Looking at the buttons, I commented on the one that said, "If I let Jesus into my heart, then everyone will want in."  I said I know it's intended to be sarcastic, but really it's true.  There were 2 left in the drawer.  We each bought one.  I put mine on my snowflake hoodie.

I also looked at a necklace -- black beads with rainbows of beads sprinkled throughout.  I tried it on and Carolyn said it looked good on me.  I bought it.  I didn't actually see it on myself until I was in the bathroom at Haymarket (yay non-gender-demarcated bathrooms!) but it really does look good on me.

We had lunch at Haymarket (duh).  Looking at the menu, I thought, "I want everything on here!" which like never happens to me.  I think I had this same experience last time I was there.  At some point I noticed that there was no meat in any of the items on the menu.  \o/  I got a grilled cheese sandwich (with gruyere, tomato, avocado, etc.), which while I was eating it I realized I think I'd gotten last time; oops.  I got a Daucus smoothie, which I don't remember from when I've been there before (carrots, cinnamon, etc.).

Carolyn's been angry with God recently for Calling her -- and also with her parents for teaching her how to hear the Holy Spirit ;)  She said people keep asking her, "How do you know you're called to work within the church?" and she wants to start responding: "How do you know you're not?"

She said to me, "You're lucky.  You're called to be where you are.  To do what you do.  You're drawn to the church, but."  I was amused, since just a few weeks ago she was teasing me about not answering my call to ministry.

She asked me if I thought I was called to do the work that I do at HBS -- "to deal with that particular kind of bullshit," as she put it.  I said that for the most part I really like my job and for the most part I seem well-suited for it -- but that I've been rethinking that a little recently because the staff all have their own things going on so there's not that feeling of connection that there used to be, plus some of the faculty are leaving.  She said it sounded like I was called to be stability in times of transition (be that in the church or elsewhere), and talked about my ability to stay calm in the midst of change, to see and point to the stepping stones across the water -- which image I really liked, because it reminds me that stable doesn't have to mean static.

By the time we left, the snow had basically stopped -- having accumulated about an inch.

We skipped Faces but stopped at Northampton Wools.  Carolyn's been questing for a rainbow skullcap to replace the one she gifted to someone, and she bought self-variegating yarn to make herself one.

We went to the Emily Dickinson Museum (though due to repairs on Emily's house, we only got to tour her brother's house) -- last tour of the day/year.  It was lovely picturesque in the snow.  (Ari, apparently the Franklin edition is the best collection -- so says the retired English professor who was our tour guide.)

Aww, Carolyn's facebook status: Carolyn [redacted] had a fabulous adventure with Elizabeth [redacted]  today. She learned that when the GPS says "left" or "right" it really means "gaily forward." There was snow, there was good food, there was queerness, there was literary greatness... and there were a few inside jokes. What a great way to end the year!
10:22p
10:29p
I keep forgetting we're coming up on New Year's nevermind the supposed end of a decade.
My New Year's Resolution for 2009 was "Ask for what you want."  With a possible extrapolation/corollary of "When you have something you think should be said, say it."

Sat. Sept. 12, I thought my NYR should be: "Get enough sleep.  Srsly."

I support continuing both of these for 2010.

My one phrase summation of 2009?  This is the year that I really stopped thinking of fandom as where I live (replacing fandom with church).  I never really got back into watching tv after the mid-season break of the 2008-2009 season, so yes this really has been true all year.

2009 year highlights in bullet point -- in vaguely chronological order/thematic groupings, since I keep a running draft document throughout the yearCollapse )
11:06p
happy secular new year
So, Scott called me Monday mid-morning, left me a voicemail ('cause I was underground at the time).  I called him back mid-afternoon and got his voicemail.

Wednesday evening he texted me: "Sorry mostly off the grid yesterday and today. Will try to call tonight or tomorrow. How are you?"

Tonight around 10:30, I texted Scott saying, "Thanks for the text the other day. I'm fine. Am heading to bed now. Are you available to chat tomorrow or Saturday?"

He called me immediately.  He said, "It hadn't occurred to me that you would be going to bed before midnight on New Year's Eve.  I had a coherent plan to call you between 10:30 and 11:30 tonight."

We talked for almost a half an hour and will talk further tomorrow.

He asked me if I was doing Mystery Hunt this year.
me: "...  Uh, no, I wasn't planning to."
Scott: "I think you would enjoy it.  And now that I know better who from Random House is going to be involved, I feel more strongly about this."
So MLKJr./Arisia weekend I may end up doing Mystery Hunt Sunday afternoon between church or something.

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