November 8th, 2011

loneliness suspended to our own

My commitment to brutal honesty would be easier if I were less conflict-avoidant.

I have got to get better at expressing things.

Because I do this thing where I feel upset and I think, "If I express that upsetness, I will just be venting at the person and nothing effective will come out of that," and instead of figuring out an effective way to express that upsetness, I just push it aside (and/or kvetch to other people); but it doesn't actually go away, and I continue to feel cranky in my interactions with that person -- and eventually I do express my upsetness and I feel way better (plus we get things clarified and can move forward in relationship more effectively).

Really I would like blanket permission from everyone in the world to scream at them whenever I want -- but I recognize that's inappropriate.


I have also got to get better at asking for information, because I keep doing this thing where I think I know why someone isn't sharing certain information, and often I feel resentful ... and later I find out that my assumptions were incorrect and I get to learn aforementioned unknown information and I feel much better.

Really I would like everyone to say ALL the true things. But I recognize that people's ideas of what constitutes "all the true things" varies (since it's impossible to articulate LITERALLY "all" the things, everyone is constantly making decisions).


And yes I recognize the irony in wanting everyone to share ALL the true things when one of my problems is that I *don't* share all the true things -- but most people do not have my commitment to sparkle motion honesty, so I do think I need to work on *how* I express things.

Someone on facebook shared an image that said, "Hurt Me with the Truth, but Never Comfort Me with a Lie." I shared it, noting, "SERIOUSLY. I MEAN IT." and someone commented, "and you are 1 of the few people who when they say they really mean it I actually believe that" (to which Ari replied: "inorite? I love my bff").

flight plans

Delta Air Lines #1001
Boston (BOS) - Atlanta (ATL)
Departs Wed, Nov 9, 11:00 AM
Arrives Wed, Nov 9, 2:04 PM


Delta Air Lines #2300
Atlanta (ATL) - Boston (BOS)
Departs Sun, Nov 13, 4:35 PM
Arrives Sun, Nov 13, 7:15 PM