February 16th, 2012


surrounding Epiphany 6B

Wed. Feb. 8, 2012

In our series on Miracles, we read Mark 5:21ff.
Jeff M. had selected it the previous week. When we actually got to Rest and re/New, he had found out that morning that a good friend of his from New York had died the previous night. So Reflecting on a story involving a resurrection miracle was ... challenging. He talked about feeling in a very Holy Saturday place -- which he had never really felt before, but which felt really appropriate. I was really struck by this because I have a really strong connection to Holy Saturday (yeah, 2009!), whereas I can't point to anything and say, "That was a moment of Good Friday for me," or, "That was an Easter moment for me."

Sun. Feb. 12, 2012

Molly preached on 2 Kings 5:1-17.

The line that most struck me was: "Just how naked and vulnerable do we have to be to accept God's healing?"

She also talked about people's reluctance to pray about things, commenting, "They don't want to put God to the test and be disappointed," to which I was (silently) like, "YES!!!" I mean, this ties into my interpersonal Issues a lot -- not wanting to ask people for things, not wanting to test a relationship, for fear of being disappointed, but I think it is also very very true of our relationship with God. Because God DOESN'T say "Yes" to every prayer request -- I've mostly reframed my sense of prayer as not being about petitioning the big Santa Claus in the sky, but...


Wed. Feb. 15, 2012

Wrapping up our series, we read Mark 6:45-52.

Jeff M. talked about the fact that Jesus nearly passes the disciples by -- like the miracle wasn't even for them -- which had never occurred to me.
He also commented that in their fear and panic ... God draws closer.

Thurs. Feb. 9, 2012

Morning prayer this season has been basically just me and FCS-Ian. Though when Advent started, we both noted that while we'd agreed to not do Every Day during Advent, we were kinda regretting that decision, because morning prayer is (can be) such an enjoyable experience.

FCS-Ian and I agreed that we'd do morning prayer every day during Lent and then stop (both because it's just been the two of us and because he'll newly have an air-breather [translation: baby]).

Thurs. Feb. 16, 2012

[scene: morning prayer service]
FCS-Ian said, "We'll sing verse 1 of #23 -- 'There's a Wildness in God's Mercy.' "
me: "Technically the title is, 'There's a Wideness in God's Mercy.' "
Ian: "I was looking at this earlier and thinking, 'I know I always mess this up, but how? OBVIOUSLY it's "Wildness" ' -- so, thank you."
I really like the idea of the "wildness" of God's mercy, though -- profligate grace and all that.
orchid, spring

[redacted] preparing for Lent

I read a little bit of Radical Ecstasy on the T out to ANTS tonight. Walking into campus, it was misting a little, low 40s F probably (weather.com says 9:45m here: 39F, feels like 34F). I felt like I could walk for ages -- but I went inside and did art and hung out with people.

I'd been thinking earlier today that if this is going to be my Lenten desert experience, I want some sort of Lenten practice -- to intentionally ... I don't know what, but intentionally SOMETHING.

I read more of Radical Ecstasy on the T home, and walking home (again in the mist) I was feeling some of that emptied feeling that I get after like a good cry, and I was thinking maybe doing the right thing I will feel better, it'll just take some time. (Though I am aware that I still miss Terry, so...)
     At some of the tantra events we've attended, an announcement is made in the beginning that goes like this: "During some of these practices, you may have feelings that will feel a lot like you're falling in love with your partner. That's because you are -- you're falling in love with the love in the universe, which you're seeing manifested in your partner. When that happens, it's absolutely wonderful. Just accept it for what it is, and don't feel the need to attach anything more to it than what it is right here and now -- nothing about the future, nothing about anything outside this room, just what it is." In SM, a similar truism holds that you always fall in love with your first top.
     -Radical Ecstasy, p. 114