February 23rd, 2012


[Lent 2] joy sadhana

ash cross still on my forehead when I got up this morning. om nom nom hot shower, though.

Dear self: Just because you got a 1am response to a 10pm email YESTERDAY doesn't mean it's going to happen every time. There's a lot going on in the other person's life, and you raised a bunch of hard stuff that you would actually like a thoughtful response to. (I'm not actually feeling anxious at all -- I just would like a response ... and okay, there's an element of worry that my revealing that my framing is different than the other person thought might be problematic, though I have basically nothing left to lose at this point, and an interaction this afternoon indicated that really, not much has changed [which means that we are still okay].) /cryptic

Pr. Lisa and I had lunch, and although we didn't have a stated agenda (which I never feel very good about), we did cover a bunch of useful stuff, I think.

I went to the BU thing tonight, and some of the comments the panelists made were really helpful to me in giving words to the question I apparently still haven't sufficiently answered for Pr. Lisa of what is queer church/what makes it different from mainline progressive rainbow flag church?

I hadn't checked the bus schedule for coming back, so I just walked from the B-Line Harvard Ave. stop to Harvard Square proper. I called Cat and then Scott and got voicemail for both but Scott called me back almost immediately (he was on his way to the gym for Tae Kwan Do), so that was a nice bonus. While we were on our 7-minute phonecall [which actually lasted closer to 12 minutes], I passed someone who lives in the area who was like, "You're not usually here," and I was like, "Yeah, I'm coming home from an event and I'm on the phone" -- usually I'm on the phone with la bff and I'm like, "No, it's totally fine if we converse for a while while I put my phone to one side," and the other meatspace person is all apologetic about having interrupted my phone call ... but in this case I was on a time-limited phonecall with someone I'd much rather be engaging with and yet I felt like I was being perceived as almost rude because I didn't engage with the meatspace person -- but I affirm my setting boundaries/priorities.

On the Green Line out to BU, I was reminded how I can bicycle there from work so much more effectively -- though even leaving aside my residual post-accident fear, I'm disincentivized to bicycle to work these days because FCS-Ian and I have been commuting to work together after morning prayer.

Walking back meant I got to spend time with an HBS guest lecturer who was going the wrong way for the Charles Hotel. We got to the turn for the hotel right after he expressed his dislike of political correctness and I didn't have a succinct response in the moment (in part because I was unclear what was actually signified behind the signifier "political correctness").

Blah, I ordered a whole bunch of kink books off of half.com, and the first one arrived today but it's one by an author I don't think I like very much (tho I've only read one of his books) and so I don't really wanna read it.

I'm once again having that thing at work where I am juggling so much stuff that I don't stay on top of all of it. Sigh. (This week has been fairly calm, which I appreciate, but I've been lulled into a touch of lazy complacency to my detriment.)

Scott asked me if I'd be available at 10 tonight (for post-gym phonecall) and I was like, "Sleep." Course I had to get all the way home and pack for Singspiration and update the Internet -- but I am going to bed now.


"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]

"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up." --Anne Lamott

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