burning like matchsticks in the face of the darkness

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***

Another FCS week of our opening hymn being a song I already know which Thom W. takes a long time to teach us. This time it was "What does the Lord require of you?" -- which, okay, we did as a round, in a slightly different way than I'm used to doing it as a round.
I forget until later that CWM sings "Love" for "Lord" (I tend to make substitutions that match the number of syllables) so after experimenting with "y/our God," I eventually sang "Hashem."

Molly had said:

I'll be preaching, the second in a mild-mannered sermon series I like to call Summer Reading, because, guess what, I like to read in the summer. I'm preaching on the runaway bestseller among young adult fiction, The Hunger Games, and on a very strange, disturbing and illuminating story from Chapters 6 and 7 of the book of 2 Kings (read it!).

I did indeed read the story on oremus and didn't really follow what was going on. I wondered if she was gonna opt for The Message. What she actually did was to tell the story as if she were just telling the story, rather than reading it (the bulletin said "2 Kings, Chapters 6-7, excerpts"), and I could definitely follow the story this time -- including being able to map pieces on to pieces I recalled from my oremus reading.

The post-sermon hymn was "Taste and See," and I wished that we did Communion.

I was in line at Coffee Hour and India came up to me and hugged me (usually I find her and hug her). She asked, "Have you tried the cake?" and I said No (because I was still in line and so hadn't sampled any of the food) and then said, "Wait, which cake? Because some of the cake is leftover from my birthday party last night."

Rooftop People in fact happened. Redheaded-Diane, whose first time at FCS was today (she recently moved to the area) came, too. Yay, people who jump right in.

Jeff B. and I made plans to see Brave (in 3D -- I'd never seen movies in 3D, and had no real desire to, but that was the showing that worked best in our schedules) on Tuesday.

I was starting to feel fade-y at like 4pm -- which is when I needed to leave to get to CWM because I'd agreed to help set up since Pr. Lisa is out of town. Grate. I set up and ran worship fine, though -- I wasn't expecting to have to run worship, so my extemp was subpar, but it was just me and Tara so it didn't matter too much.

***

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scene, Sunday evening:
me: What time do you think you'll be in the shower tomorrow morning?
Housemate: About 9:30.
[...]
(a little after 9pm) me: I'm gonna head to bed.
Housemate: You're definitely gonna be up before me tomorrow morning, then.
me: ... I was gonna say that I didn't get a lot of sleep this weekend, but 12 hours is a LOT of sleep.

Monday morning:
(quarter to 9am) me: *gets up*

[After I got up Monday morning, I had 32 new emails -- 17 of which were birthday wishes on my Facebook Wall.]

Ultimately I had 58 Facebook happy birthdays (plus one from Nicki the night before because it was already tomorrow in Thailand), an LJ comment, 2 txt msgs, an email from my bff, and a card from my sister-in-law.

+

Sunday evening had also included Housemate wondering aloud, "What do I want to eat for dinner on my birthday?" which prompted me to wonder what *I* wanted for dinner for my birthday. Monday night happened to be the one evening all week I didn't already have plans.

It ocurred to me that I could take the train out to my parents' for dinner -- provided they didn't already have other plans. They didn't -- though my mom got my email late enough that she didn't have time to bake a cake (I was like: You just baked 2 cakes for our party -- I really wasn't expecting more cake to go along with on-my-birthday dinner).

My mom posted to facebook (Sunday night, though I didn't see it until Monday): "I get to have my grrl on her birthday! (Makes a Mama Bear's heart go pit-a-pat) :)"

The monthly Harvard queer women's staff+faculty lunch was today, so I biked out for that. Despite having had breakfast ~10am, I was getting hungry right around the time I was getting ready to leave for that, so since it's a BYOLunch, I stopped at Panera afterward.

Then I mailed my package, went to the gym, made my CWM bank deposit ... and had a little over an hour before I needed to leave Harvard Square -- which gave me enough time to bike home and back but not much else, so that didn't make much sense. So I figured I'd just get an earlier train.

In South Station, some massage place was offering chair massages for $1/min and hey, it was my birthday, so I got a 15-minute chair massage.

I took the 4:45 to Norwood Central.

They didn't take my ticket on the way out, so yay half-free ride.

Starting down Winslow Ave., I saw a pest control vehicle, the back window of which someone had written things like "BEWARE BUGS" and "BUGMAN" and I remembered the Tot Lot.

I spent ~20min on the swings. (My mom told me later that she'd seen an article recently about an adult-sized playground which didn't have swings, to which she was like, "Elizabeth would be sadfaced." True story.)

As I started back on Winslow, I realized that my mom's train was due in in about 10 minutes, and it seemed silly to get home shortly before her, so I went to wait for the train to meet her to walk home with her.

My mom said she is "vicariously fierce." Um, ditto.

After dinner, we played a lot of rounds of UNO -- none of which I won.

I came home from Harvard Square (where I'd parked my bike) via Mass Ave, successfully, without dying. (I definitely appreciated the lack of traffic at ~10:15pm on a Monday night in the summer.) Though the paving there is really bumpy, which I don't appreciate -- though I imagine it would be a monster to try to shut down any of that to repave it.

***

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]
Thus says God to these bones: "I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live. I will lay sinews on you, and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you shall live; and you shall know that I am God." (Ezekiel 37:5-6, NRSV, alt.)

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I biked to the gym, and as I headed toward Western Ave. (I was not interested in merging into the Anderson Bridge from that direction) I realized I could just go to the Esplanade and back like I often do, since I have the time.

I rode out of Harvard Square (coming home) on Mass Ave, knew what I was doing, and didn't feel scared \o/

After Brave, Jeff B. and I had planned to go to dinner at Kathmandu Spice (we'd agreed that Ristorante Olivio was a bit too expensive), but apparently it is closed on Tuesdays, so we went to Thailand Cafe across the street, which had been my 3rd choice but which was better than I'd expected. It's a small place, not v. fancy at all, but I had tasty tofu massaman curry and we shared tasty scallion pancakes.

***

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]
Thus says God to these bones: "I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live. I will lay sinews on you, and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you shall live; and you shall know that I am God." (Ezekiel 37:5-6, NRSV, alt.)

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(We saw the 3D version because that was the showing that worked for our schedules. The screen told us to put on our glasses but then a trailer started. Midway through the trailer -- for The Hobbit -- I put on the glasses and oh, right. Hi, glass_moment.)

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I want that "Touch the Sky" song.

I called Ava to see if she was available tomorrow -- and then cadenzamuse txtd to ask if we could push phonecall to tomorrow -- but Ava's working tomorrow anyway -- and then I took a nap.

Newbie-Diane (whose first Sunday was this past Sunday and who came to Rooftop People afterward) showed up at FCS before Rest and re/New -- she couldn't remember what time the ArtBeat crafting session was. We said 6:30 and told her she was welcome to stay for Rest and re/New, that we'd be done around 7 and they'd surely still be going. She said she needed to catch up with her mom (phonecall), so not today, but maybe another time -- though there's a Cambridge meditation thing that's also on Wednesday nights which she'd been wanting to try out. We said we're doing a mindfulness series (complete with guided meditation)

Keith (going to light candles before Rest and re/New): "God is not present unless there's fire -- prove me wrong: show me God."

***

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]
Thus says God to these bones: "I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live. I will lay sinews on you, and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you shall live; and you shall know that I am God." (Ezekiel 37:5-6, NRSV, alt.)

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I felt more awake when my 7am alarm went off this morning than when it did yesterday -- having gone to bed ~9pm as opposed to ~midnight.

Jeff M. said on Friday night Liz&Megan's small group was at Orleans for Trivia and he saw them and stopped by to say hi. The trivia question was which female musician set some record for digital music sales in 2010. He guessed Lady Gaga (which was wrong).
He said his second choice was Jesus. Someone said, "But Jesus isn't female," and in unison a whole bunch of people said, "Elizabeth [my surname] thinks so..." ♥♥♥

I told him how Ari had commented, "A lot more of your people know about my lesbian Christology than my people do, which says a lot about the kinds of people we are, I think."

I think it was Harold who said, "Elizabeth is not afraid of conflict. This is a true thing." -- I disputed this...

Ben said to Harold, "Did Liz tell you she gets all her news from your facebook feed?"
Harold: "Other people have told me that, but Liz did not." (He said he once posted saying no more NYT for the month because he'd hit the paywall and Molly gifted him 3 months becaue she said she needed him to tell her what she needed to know from the NYT.)

cadenzamuse called ~11am, while Harold and I were still talking, despite office hours having ended ~10am. He and I kept talking until ~11:45am and then I went to the gym and got groceries and came home ~2:30pm.

cadenzamuse and I did phonecall later -- which, okay, had the problem I always have with people I haven't talked to in ages -- "How have I been? Um, it's been 6 months... Um, stuff... At this exact moment, nothing is v. exciting..." But I was glad to get to hear from her -- and possibly we will get better at this if we do it more frequently :)

FCS Bible/book study potluck barbecue was fine. I was glad I had brought fake burgers so I could eat food. We had some good conversation about how next round might go.

Marlin's small group was meeting afterward and he invited me and Harold to tag along 'cause it was just him and Jamie and Lisa C.

Harold's going to the Zoo tomorrow, where he'll see dinosaurs -- because birds are dinosaurs.
I think it was in Harold joking about having a dinosaur dealer that Jamie mentioned if we couldn't get a donkey for the Palm Sunday Donkey Walk, we could have someone riding an ostrich.
I said I could imagine Carmen riding an ostrich -- so Jesus was a tiny blonde 6-year-old girl, I'm glad we can agree on that.

I've been frequently biking during ~rush hour (e.g., heading to 8:30am office hours) and it was so nice to bike home ~11:30pm when there was barely any traffic! (Yes, after about an hour, Marlin's husband came to pick him and eventually Lisa C. headed home, but the 3 of us stayed for quite a while.)

***

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]
Thus says God to these bones: "I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live. I will lay sinews on you, and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you shall live; and you shall know that I am God." (Ezekiel 37:5-6, NRSV, alt.)

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I don't request anyone's queer cred ID when bringing them on for Pride Interfaith -- so it's extra-bonus to find out that someone is in fact queer on MULTIPLE dimensions.

Small group meeting turned out to just be me and Brita+Carolyn G., but that was fine -- and we went for a nice walk around Radcliffe Quad and environs (I have now been past Quad Bikes -- though I don't think I would be able to find my way back there easily without a map).

(On my way home, I encountered Jeff B's small group, and people said hi but no one invited me to join them, nor did it occur to me until afterward -- which was fine. Jeff B teased, "We don't want you anyway -- you're a girl.")

***

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]
Thus says God to these bones: "I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live. I will lay sinews on you, and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you shall live; and you shall know that I am God." (Ezekiel 37:5-6, NRSV, alt.)

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"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]
Thus says God to these bones: "I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live. I will lay sinews on you, and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you shall live; and you shall know that I am God." (Ezekiel 37:5-6, NRSV, alt.)

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FCS once again opened with Thom W. teaching us the opening hymn -- this time it was "Hallelujah" as credited to "Traditional Muscogee (Creek) Indian" tune, which is basically the one Tara does Wednesday evening. Keith and I looked at each other :D

Keith was liturgist, and his Assurance of Grace began with, "This is the Good News," and ended with, "We are a forgiven people. Amen." *Rest and Bread nostalgia!* Yeah, I think the radical queer church of my heart will have a time for Confession (in a way that somehow avoids as best as possible the self-loathing etc. baggage that many people have with that liturgical moment).

Jeff M. preached on The Life of Pi (and Daniel 3:13-18 -- part of the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego; this is his first summer with us, and he said he asked people for advice on how to preach about a book, and the unanimous piece of advice was to not ruin the ending for people who hadn't read it ... so he said he wouldn't ruin the ending of the Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego story -- at which FCS-Ian and I looked at each other, because we read that entire story [and in fact the entire Book of Daniel] at morning prayer).

He talked about how pi (the number) is true & irrational -- that it is a true thing which is useful in life, but you can never fully define it, even if you spend your entire life engaging with it.

***

"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [more info]
Thus says God to these bones: "I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live. I will lay sinews on you, and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you shall live; and you shall know that I am God." (Ezekiel 37:5-6, NRSV, alt.)

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I had a lot of big potential plans for my staycation:
* long bicycle rides
* indoor rock wall climbing
* getting a massage (or more than one)
* driving lessons
* swimming
* spending time with people I rarely get to see
* clothes shopping

Instead, my days looked more like:
* sleep in (or go to morning office hours)
* introvert on the Internet for a few hours
* enjoy afternoon/evening activities
* go to bed when I feel like it

I felt like, "Isn't this the life I'm supposed to get to have AND work full-time?" because I didn't feel like I was doing a huge amount of extra stuff with any given day ... though I did get more exercise than I usually do [instead of alternating 1hr (~8mi) biking on top of my 4mi/way commute with ~30min weight room, I did the extra biking AND weight room each day]. Monday evening, my dad commented that I had that "kissed by the sun" look, and I suspect I'm even more tanned now.

And I did get to do some catching up with people and work on some projects ... and I do genuinely feel okay about having had a low-key week wherein I didn't "accomplish" much.