January 5th, 2014

moar bike lanes pls

driving? driving! (take 3)

So, I broke my elbow a week and a day after our last driving lesson. Once I was allowed to ride my bike again (mid-November), I felt I was good to go for driving again, but FCS-Ian is challenging to schedule with. So, Driving Lesson #3 this afternoon.

FCS-Ian asked me if I was excited/nervous/whatever about driving again, and I said I wasn't exactly excited about it, but that I'd also been thinking that if he canceled on me I would be seriously pissed. He said yeah, he was aware that if he canceled on me today he would be damaging a friendship.

I said if he'd canceled I would have been like, "Do you actually wanna teach me how to drive? Because I could find someone else to." He said no, he enjoys this -- but if I wanted to get a supplemental driving instructor he wouldn't be upset. Given him and scheduling, this would probably be a wise idea, but I was reminded this afternoon that for all our initial certainty that we would have to safeword out of this arrangement immediately, this works really well -- he knows a lot and is attentive, so he's a very informed instructor; and the vast majority of the time he's very good at explaining step-by-step how to do something; and he pushes me beyond where I'm comfortable (e.g., he'll say, "let's go do X now," and I'm like, "I don't feel I've mastered X-1 sufficient..."), but not in a way that makes me feel super unsafe (though I do sometimes feel like I've been given more things to think about than I can actually hold in my head at a time); and while I know it stresses him out, he mostly feels like a non-anxious presence; and we have a relationship such that I can be like "Fuck you" or "Shuddup" or flip him off and it's totally fine -- and he can follow up comments with, "That wasn't mocking, that was just informational," and I believe him or at least don't care. And I'm not super optimistic about finding people who are similarly good. (Though if I have daylight time when I'm visiting my parents, my dad would probably be similarly good.)

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