Elizabeth Scripturient (the delinquent, ecumenical (hermionesviolin) wrote,
Elizabeth Scripturient (the delinquent, ecumenical
hermionesviolin

Why does the staff always look at me funny when i ask for 5 hash browns?

I mean, they don't serve us lunch, so is a hearty breakfast that unusual?

I went to Quaker meeting this morning. I get attached to churches, so when i travel i try to go to as many different churches as possible, especially because religion is really interesting to me.

I had been thinking for a day or so that one of the (many) things i want to research more when i return to my homeland is meditation and prayer, because i feel like i just keep repeating the same requests and sometimes remembering to give thanks, and i would like to work on actually connecting and communicating more.

Talking to one of the Quaker women i got to explaining about my interdenominational church back home, and it occurred to me not for the first time that my other home church, in Northampton, is also interdenominational, and it occurred to me for i think the first time, that this is another example of how i don't come from simple backgrounds. My parents are very different people, so aside from my father's insistence on the complexity of issues and interrogating information and all that, while there was plenty of tradition and consistency, i didn't grow up with a united front as it were on things like politics and religion (which i understood more and more as i grew up). More and more i find it difficult to create pithy explanations of any of the ways i identify myself (partly because said identities are very much in the process of creation) and slowly i am growing comfortable living in the blurred areas. Talking about dual cultural identities in my Black Britain class got me thinking (yet again) about my queerness and trying to make analogies in my head. I'd like to read more literature like that, about living in the boundaries, in the spaces in between, in the blur and the overlap.

I know there is strength in the differences between us, and I know there is comfort where we overlap.
...
We negotiate with chaos for some sense of satisfaction; if you won't give it to me at least give me a better view.
...
I build each one of my songs out of glass
so you can see me inside of them, I suppose,
or you could just leave the image of me in the backround, I guess,
and watch your own reflection superimposed.
guess there's something wrong with me
guess i don't fit in
no one wants to touch it
no one knows where to begin
i've got more than one membership
to more than one club
and i owe my life
to the people that i love

...

some days the line i walk
turns out to be straight
other days the line tends to
deviate
i've got no criteria for sex or race
i just want to hear your voice
i just want to see your face

...

their eyes are all asking
are you in, or are you out
and i think, oh man,
what is this about?
tonight you can't put me
up on any shelf
'cause i came here alone
i'm gonna leave by myself

...

guess there's something wrong with me
guess i don't fit in
no one wants to touch it
no one knows where to begin
i've more than one membership
to more than one club
and i owe my life to the people that i love
I'm consistent in my complexity (sexuality, politics, religion, etc.) which i suppose is exactly to be expected coming from the people i do.

"I want to live in a world in which people are brave enough to state publically who they are. I would rather stand bravely in my complexity than hide behind a false idea of strength."
-Toby
Tags: church: ecumenical england 2003, oxford summer seminar 2003
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