60 above zero:
Floridians turn the heat on.
People in New England plant gardens.
50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in New England sunbathe.
40 above zero:
Italian and English cars won't start.
People in New England drive with the windows down.
32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
Moosehead Lake's water gets thicker.
20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and hats.
People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn on the heat.
People in New England have the last cookout before it turns cold.
People in Miami die - or return to Cuba.
New Englanders close the windows.
10 below zero:
Californians go to Mexico.
People in New England get out their winter coats.
25 below zero:
Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in New England let the dogs sleep inside.
100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in New England get frustrated because "the caah won't staaht".
275 below zero:
All atomic motion stops. (Absolute zero on the Kelvin scale).
People in New England start saying, "cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 below zero
Hell freezes over.
Red Sox win the World Series.