No one warned me that cover letters are f-ing hard. (But i really am learning to sell myself and my skills and learning that i do in fact have skills, so it’s all to the good. )
Internship applications are the angst i was mostly spared for college applications as i was early decision. This weekend i alternated between thinking i’ll get okayed for bunches of them and have to pick the best one and thinking one will want me. And then there’s the never-ending paperwork i have to fill out in order to get PRAXIS funding once i get an actual internship. *sigh*
I wrote solid cover letters for the 3 positions i’m most interested in and may attempt an internship proposal for GLASS. I think i can make myself do cover letters for the other positions i’m less interested in throughout this week. They’re like my safety schools.
New-girl-Emily, talks a lot. We hung out for literally 8 hours Friday night and most of it was her talking -- though to be fair, a lot of that time was playing pieces she had written on her midi. (She used to ride horses and play violin. Now she sings and writes music, plus she’s a tae kwan do black belt. Oh, and she writes songs as well, and original fiction. “Is there anything you don’t do?” i asked.)
She went to high school with upsidown and was rmfendell’s prospie, because clearly Smith is an incestuous small world. She said that she was almost wholly sold on Smith just because of Rebecca, how nice she was. laynamarya, babelfish9... i gave her the e-mail address that’s in Becca’s unused LJ profile? Is that still good?
She talked about music a lot, so i mostly just nodded, but then we got talking about writing and eventually to fandom. That is something i can talk about.
HP seems to be her fandom of choice, but she knew Buffy well enough to ask my opinion on Spike/Xander.
She said i must read “Mirror of Maybe” as well as “Carpe Diem” & “Alpha and Omega.” [Those are HP fics.] I refuse to do HP fanfic. (Okay, if we're gonna be exactly honest, i’ve read this and this.) It’s totally not the underage or the teacher/student ‘cause those are closer to kinks than squicks for me (though really they’re neither).
I think partly i’m just not interested in the world enough. I love all the details to Whedonverse, and i love seeing them come through in fics or icons that i or other people make. I would miss a lot of that in HP, because i just haven’t paid that much attention. (I’m leaving aside the whole issue of the movies, as why-Elizabeth-doesn’t-like-movies-to-be-m
And of course, because i’m so obsessed with Whedonverse, it’s not like i lack fannish outlets. I sure don’t need any more drains on my time.
Since when are Ron/Hermione and Harry/Ginny the inevitable end pairings? I feel like i’ve been spoiled as i so didn’t see this. It can’t be a spoiler as the final 2 books haven’t been written yet, of course, it’s just speculation, but still.
The HP books don’t actually make me want to pair anyone. Not only am i not interested in the characters enough to want to watch them in fics, but reading the books doesn’t make me want to pair anyone. This is probably due in part to the fact that they’re books so there isn’t the “make the pretty people shag” factor of Whedon shows, as well as the fact that romance is purposely absent from the majority of the canon so far as it does deal with young adolescents and given the target audience romance just isn’t so much a part of the purpose of the storytelling.
I’ve been hearing about Harry/Draco since i first discovered HP fandom, and after reading the 5th book i felt that they hate each other in a hating each other kind of way and shipping them just couldn’t happen within canon, though i’m sure i could be sold on it in fanon as (A) i can be sold on most anything if it’s written well, and (B) the-passion-of-hate-turning-to-the-passi
Ever since Book 5 came out, LJ was awash in Remus/Sirius shipping, and i’m sure it can be written in beautiful sweet ways, but i barely saw the hints in Book 5 when i was looking for the subtext nevermind if i had been reading it innocent (giggles) of people’s ‘ships.
Most of the characters don’t interest me enough to even care about relationships they might or might not have. I have enough trouble telling Cho from a hole in the wall, nevermind any of the other female students (besides Hermione and Luna). That said, McGonnagall/Hermione intrigues me, and i think i’ve been weakened by all the attractive evil in the Whedonverse or something, because i could totally see being sold on Snape/student fic. Finishing Book 5, the only ‘ship i actively wanted to see was Hermione/Luna. And for once in my fannish life i’d be more interested in gen stories, in just seeing them interact (though perhaps this is because i have difficulty seeing them together-together in a way that doesn’t fall victim to OOC or any-two-bodies).
Emily said Book 5 felt like fanfic to her. It didn’t feel like fanfic style to me, but then i don’t do HP fandom. I can definitely see people feeling like it’s fanfic because so much fanon developed in the years it was being written (though this wasn’t what Emily was getting at; she meant stylistically, the way the book was written). I had a thought tangenting off of this paragraph, but i’ve forgotten it.
My Whedonverse is fandom, so i start thinking, but it’s all either RPS or rewriting my life. The beauty of RPS when it’s not famous people is that you can pawn it off as OC and get published. (And really, everyone uses elements of their real lives in their fiction, i’m just doing it more heavily than)
I keep joining fic communities, and part of me thinks i should switch my membership over to bigdirty for them, but it’s so much easier to just leave everything on this LJ, and i have the various filters bookmarked, so i can read or not read whatever/whenever i want.
If you've ever watched your favorite DVDs, and then found yourself eager to hear exactly what the actors, directors, writers and even production designers thought about making the episode, the movie, or whatever - you'll know sometimes the best parts of DVDs are hearing the commentaries. Getting into an actor's feelings about the character they play, getting the background behind a writer's plans and metaphors, even just getting the stupid anecdotal stuff that makes you laugh, it's all good.This has got to be one of the most masturbatory memes yet. I absolutely adore it.
People are doing this for fic; if there is a story of mine that you'd like a DVD-commentary on, let me know, and I shall provide.
It means all that wonderful stuff that ends up having no place in the story proper, such as certain backstory, Character X was thinking Thus-and-such, etc., can be forcibly cut out of said story proper because i can include it in “DVD Commentary,” along with “deleted” scenes.
Yes, once i have a real archive of my own, each fic will also have “commentary.” How self-indulgent, and yet, condoned. Oh yes, in the spirit of the meme, if anyone actually wants commentary on any of my 15 finished pieces (located here) feel free to ask.
At one point in the conversation, the issue of parents finding out you read fic came up, and i was very blasé in saying that my parents know i read fic. “Even though it’s NC-17?” she asked. I thought was just so sweet in, i dunno, a childlike way for lack of a better term. “I’m 20,” i pointed out.
Okay, so my tastes in reading and writing are a bit kinky at times, so it’s not something i advertise, but certainly my parents know i read, they even know i write. And i’m months away from being legally allowed to do most everything (save, run for President and likely a few other things) so it’s not such a big deal.
This conversation made me remember going to read a fic that had a Java pop-up where you had to click “OK” saying you were of age. I was mere months away (if that). I don’t remember if i read it or not.
I can date my entrance into fandom fairly well because i remember following “Restless” discussions after its airing on YahooGroups, but i haven’t been able to date my entrance into slash, though i felt fairly certain it was in college and perhaps post-LJ. I turned 17 the summer before my senior year, so i must have been a junior in high school when i first found fic. And Season 4 ended with the end of my junior year, so that would make sense. I definitely didn’t get into it big until probably sophomore year in college. I know i wasn’t aware of slash during S4 BtVS. Hell, i’m still barely into fic/fandom. See for example, previous mention of “archive of all 15 of my finished works.”
I really didn’t need to see Jules et Jim (the j-term film that night, which i had planned to see). But i did need to do my laundry. It went in at, um, 2:20-ish. (Things i look forward to about living on my own: not having other people making the laundry room grody. Okay, so that means my apartment needs to have a bedroom a bathroom a kitchen and a washing machine.) So i went to bed at like 4:30 in the morning. When’s the last time i did that?
Slept in on Saturday morning as it was the last morning i could for quite a while. Then that night around bedtime i felt too sleepy to do thinking work but couldn’t fall asleep, so i stayed up way late reading and surfing LJ. Caught up on the last month of buffy_icons (as well as all of ff_icons, but that’s far less impressive) and signed up for sarah_p’s Spike ficathon (e-mail her if you want in) and enfaith's non-canon relationship ficathon. Because really, that’s the thing to do when you already have 2 other fics you have to write and classes start in a day. I started playing around with iconning again. I haven’t learned how to do any of those brush things, but hey, i was happy to learn blur/smudge and paint. As Annie said once when my dinner plate was full, one-half white rice and one-half cooked corn, “You have simple tastes, don’t you?” (One of these days rhipowered or someone has to walk me through ImageReady, so i can make good animated ones.) Fandom so owns me. Approximately one-fourth of my friendslist now is icon or fic communities. This is less phearsome given that some of them are rather inactive.
Impressively i got up for church fine and didn’t start feeling tired until the reasonable hour of 11pm. Of course, at that time i was still writing cover letters, but oh well. I was getting so much sleep the last week of j-term (and getting next to nothing accomplished) so i think this is an improvement. [And then there's the whole second wind factor, so i'm fine now.]
After one of the hymns, Liz mentioned that in the new shiny hymnal we use for most of the songs, none of them end with the “Amen” which every song at her Presbyterian home church ended with. The next song we sang ended with that prolonged “Ahhh-men,” and i realized what a homey feel that is, as even with the new hymnal i think most of United’s songs end with “Amen” (which makes sense, as it’s an Amen-happy dominant congregation).
Church included a “gospel choir,” so i thought of susiebabylon, but it didn’t feel like what i think of as gospel choir. Except the offertory selection was “Soon I Will Be Done” (William Levi Dawson?). It took a few lines, but i realized where i knew the song from. Mrs. Moen, of course!
Soon I will be done with the troubles of the worldIn his sermon, Peter talked about “meeting Jesus again for the first time” and as part of that, he talked about the ideas of Jesus that we are brought up with. The Anglo Jesus for one. The meek and obedient Jesus. The Jesus who passively suffered. I thought of lilithchilde *g* (as well as last year’s Lenten book study). He said that the real Jesus was a Jewish carpenter who lived in the sunbaked corners of the Middle East. I like when people remind that fact. He kept emphasizing the fact that Jesus was Jewish, which Liz and i both thought was a bit odd. She had taken a religion class, so it seemed like a “Well yes, duh, can we move on now?” thing to her. For me it was more the fact that he kept saying Jesus was Jewish but didn’t really go anywhere with it, mentioning the racial problematics of the dominance of an Anglo Jesus or anything like that.
Soon I will be done with the troubles of the world
Gone home to live with God
I want I want to meet my mother [father, Jesus]
I want I want to meet my mother
I’m goin’ to live with God
No more weepin’ and a wailin’
No more weepin’ and a wailin’
I’m goin’ to live with God.
Then at the end, apparently out of nowhere, Peter said that we were approaching the New Hampshire primaries. I got worried. He talked about how all candidates will profess to be Christian and will invoke God and Jesus, claiming that they blessed their campaign, and basically admonishing the congregation to be watchful and stuff, and it ended up being well-done, but i was a bit thrown. Liz and i had a nice conversation at coffee hour about how candidates are pressured to appear religious because it’s what will get people to vote for them.
As i said, Kansas Liz came with me to church, and unlike last time when i had tea duty and MJ was the only person to really talk to us, this time we sat down at a table and Mary whatshername chatted with us, followed by various other people. Liz is better at being friendly than i am, so i foresee more social involvement in my First Churches future, which is of the good.
Wow. All j-term the lines for meals were near non-existent. Dinner this past Friday night was practically deserted. Tonight, though? Return of the mile-long lines. I kept expecting them to reappear last week and they never did.
I didn't know the Golden Globe awards were tonight until someone mentioned it near the very end of dinner. Usually there's Emmy commotion on my friendslist so i have a heads up. Not that it matters as i have no interest in watching, just usually i'm looped for these sorts of things.
It feels like finals, with the vague illness and the being up late finishing things i procrastinated. The fact that the real new semester begins in mere hours feels somewhat unreal. Of course it helps that all i have is intro macro econ, errands, lunch, work, and then it’s the evening. Tuesday will be the day i get the syllabi for all my Smith lit. classes.
The top of the dry-erase board on my door says "Test everything. Hold on to the good." (thanks, laynamarya!) and at the bottom i just put a magnet i got for Christmas: "Good Morning Let the stress begin!"
[Sidenote: Discussing course choices with an overachieving first-year at 1 in the morning the day that the semester starts... actually fills me with joy at my ability to be helpful. Why yes i am a dork. And really, the fact that i love being helpful is why i like being an SAA; the training didn’t help very much, but because i have an official title, i’m much more likely to have people come talk to me, and this i get to be helpful.]