whatever tears at us,Monday:
whatever hold us down
and if nothing can be done
we'll make the best of what's around...
Went to Haymarket with Liz Carr. I had never had smoothies there, but i forget that when adults take me out they’re treating. I got the 7-Day, a banana etc. thing which was yummy. She got the Swamp Thing which is lots of berries and i actually liked it a lot, which i wasn’t expecting.
And she agreed that my advisor is fabulous.
Liz, reassuring Doug about something: “God has a sense of humor.”
Doug: “God can afford to have a sense of humor”
but...themachine: It's nice that the rain came and washed away all the chalkings the day that voiting started...kind of like saying, "ok, we advertised, now make up your own damn mind".Responding to the absurd claim a Jolter made, that, because Tangent has done work towards some gender neutrality or whatever, “tangent is about making women disappear,” sheana wrote: “You know, you're right! I saw a couple of members of Tangent walking down the sidewalk today and, when a woman bumped them, they just wiggled their noses and *poof*! She disappeared! Be careful, women.”
Hazle: It's not quite as cathartic as when it happened after the revote drama though.
Michael assigned us our final paper and i made a face. “Elizabeth is going to throw things at me.” I was very restrained, though. Asked about the length, he said 6-8 pages.
Alice: “Is 4½ acceptable?”
Michael: “Is a C- acceptable?”
I forget what this quote was in reference to, but it amuses me: “sexy, which is not quite the antithesis of monumental”
Cool girl i sat next to when Sam visited UMass class has knee-high boots she got from Sears, on sale for $22 from $50. The website only has workboots, though, and the most convenient Sears is Holyoke Mall. (Oh, and adding to my shopping list, my umbrella is developing holes in it.)
Something like 4 interesting things to go Tuesday night. I, of course, had my calendar cleared to do schoolwork.
Stupid paper. In a lot of ways i felt like i had already written this paper the first time around, so that didn’t exactly help with the motivation. Ended up not as good as my first one (though i suspect that’s colored by the fact that i got an A on the first paper, because i remember thinking it was crap when i handed it in after a hellish week) but whatever. I have like an A+ in that class right now. Was up far too late writing it, as i seem incapable of focusing. Had various nice conversations throughout the night.
Deep thoughts of the night:
I know that anorexia and self-injury aren’t things you just “get over” but i forget sometimes. I finally understand, in a way that i didn’t before, that (duh) mental illness is an illness. It’s something people struggle with, and sometimes they fight it and sometimes they don’t, and sometimes they get better and sometimes they don’t, and sometimes it kills them and sometimes it doesn’t.
I can be a bitter, jaded, cynic, but i’m mostly not that way about the fact that i’m not dating anyone. I suspect that this ties into the fact that i think of dating (for me anyway) as a process of finding a life partner. I feel incredibly blessed by the wonderful people i’ve gotten to know at college, but it’s asking rather a lot to find not only lifelong friends but someone i would want to share my life with that fully.
It is so weird when other people have entirely different ways of being in the world than you do. I mean, i respect the way my friends live in the world and generally even understand it, it’s just still weird.
It’s that time of semester when i am tempted to cut large numbers of people out of my life because my tolerance for being able to deal with shit is way down.
I learned that my Art class capped at 13, which helped explain why i was waitlisted.
I am in heart with my advisor.
Bill Oram will be teaching my Shakespeare next semester, as Harold has decided to retire.
Ann wants to employ me next year and may even employ me through Senior Week this year. There are hella budget cuts but hi, i cost the same as any other work-study student and have more experience with SCMA than anyone else who might want my job.
azdback: I aspire to become an l-j cult figure like you are.
hermionesviolin: Aww. *blushes*
azdback: It's true. Hey, would you mind reading my essay and giving me a touch or two of advice? It's uber short and I'll love you forever. I'll buy you coffee or... or something Buffy, I don't know.
When did 2am start feeling like an early time to go to bed?
Michael was talking about how the current pope has canonized more saints than all the previous popes combined.
Alice: “We’re better people.”
Someone said something about “puny deity.”
Michael: “All deities are puny. Except Venus of Willendorf. She was a big girl.”
As hedy would say, Doug wants to have intellectual sex with Jane Austen.
Evadne, after i offered to share my book with her: “I love you. Even though you’re a Republican.” “Am not! I love you, too, even though you’re not ;)”
After the prospies left, Betsey said that originally she had done the syllabus so that we would be doing neither Ann Sexton nor Olga Broumas during Open Campus but then Jane Yolen couldn’t come when she wanted her to so she had to reshuffle the syllabus. Honestly, ours was a very tame class. People scared off by that class should not be attending Smith.
Chalking: Smith fencing / Why run with scissors? / Swords are bigger
On the bus back from UMass, some Smithies were talking about the SGA constitution and how Smith is one of the few places where documents say “she.” I wondered if some of the wording sounded awkward now that it was all “the student” and i thought about how “he or she” probably sounded awkward at first and people thought “It’s so much easier to just say ‘he;’ we know what it means” and now we’re used to it and may think it a bit awkward but mostly we’re used to it and don’t think much of it. Honestly, i would rather have a world where gender is a non-issue than a world of “women empowerment.”
Handed in my fairy tales paper. Who wants to beta my Cinderella rewrite?
Well, i didn’t bomb my phone interview. I always feel dreadfully unqualified when i’m applying for stuff, and i haven’t yet mastered how to be a brilliant interviewee, but it went well enough. Will find out end of April if i’m in. Need to do Theater Offensive (for which i am even less qualified) application.
Joss Whedon spoke at Wesleyan! He ships Simon/River :) And duh, it was The-First-masquerading-as-Joyce who appeared to Dawn.
My father says, “As an Sw, I can feel her pain.”
When did i start spending so much money? Making a deposit of 4 paychecks made me feel better about all this, though.
Damn it got gorgeous. I have decided i dislike Northampton flower shops, though.
Doug came over for student-faculty tea. He’s hurt that only 6 people are signed up for his George Eliot seminar. I really do not love that man enough to take a George Eliot seminar.
Isabel informed me that the titles of the courses for next spring are up on the English Department website. Hmm, do i wanna take Nancy Bradbury’s “Fakelore and Folklore” seminar? Why is Gillian Kendall the one teaching Children’s Literature? The Education Department course in that that i want so badly had better be offered.
Remember when Emma and i talked for 4 hours and then 5 and then 6 and so i joked that next time we would have to talk for 7 hours? Well tonight i think we talked for about 8 hours, less the hour or so i was with Gillian and Isabel.
Also, yay touchy-feely people. Glomming onto someone so much that a bystander might think we were dating = woot.
NB: Am leaving around 2 on Saturday (today) for Boston and will return Sunday mid-afternoon. Try not to miss me too much.