Elizabeth Scripturient (the delinquent, ecumenical (hermionesviolin) wrote,
Elizabeth Scripturient (the delinquent, ecumenical

I am way too amused by this shit.

Okay, so i’ve been getting a slew of porn IMs these past few days, so i’ve been considering blocking anyone except Buddies, but i’m just too lazy. So around 11:30 tonight i get an IM. (Incidentally, everyone’s all about my profile, but no one has an interesting profile themselves. I have shit like “Location: a boring town near Boston, MA... it leaves my mind free to swim in the rainbows and dance amongst the stars in the velvet sky until the beauty makes the moon wants to cry tears of pearls” -- gee, was i in a Savage Garden phase? and this guy has stuff like “Hobbies: Working out, reading, movies / Occupation: Government / Personal Quote: Believe in the truth.”)

Anyway, here’s the conversation. The italicized stuff in brackets is my thoughts.

Mamfclfg: very intriguing profile
me: Thanks. I was in something of a poetic mood when i wrote it. Haven't really looked at it in a year or so since i'm not on much any more.
Mamfclfg: you are good and creative writer...I like to write too
me: Thanks.
Mamfclfg: My name is Mike...hi
me: That's cool. What do you write? Poetry? Fiction?
me: Hi. I'm Elizabeth (but you knew that from the profile. :))
Mamfclfg: Fiction..humor....I write a lot for my job too.....I'm a police officer..a detective and I write a lot in work
[Okay, definitely an adult. Seems like a reasonable, interesting guy, though. Could be a decent conversation. And i’m always happy when the connection point is writing.]
me: Oh that's cool.
Mamfclfg: I like stories about people...about life....I like to laugh about life...laugh at myself at times..in my stories
Mamfclfg: tell me about you..how old are you?
me: 19
Mamfclfg: hmmm....then I'm an "older man"
me: Yup.
[I start typing “I’m not really looking for Internet romance anyway, so we can just chat.”]
Mamfclfg: 19 turns me on though....a young..vibrant..intelligent..sexual age
me: That's quite a compliment.
me: And how old are you?
Mamfclfg: 35...but a young and physically fit 35...:)...6'3"..210lbs..tell me about you
[Like i care what you look like. But you don’t know that]
me: Short, slender, fairly attractive. College student who's always researching something or other 'cause she's a big dork like that. Not terribly social, but good one-on-one. Big reader. Vegetarian, loves people who are enthusiastic about causes. Always interested in learning new things.
Mamfclfg: how short is short?
me: 5'2
Mamfclfg: petite?....I like petite women....how long is your hair?
[I’m starting to get annoyed that it’s all about how i look.]
me: Yup, petite.
me: Just got my hair cut, actually. It's just below my ears. Very cute.
Mamfclfg: petite is very hot....I'm a very passionate person....love to please...especially a younger woman
[Okay, enough is enough.]
me: I'm afraid i'm really not looking for Internet romance though.
Mamfclfg: okay..but should you ever want anything at all...I'm intrigued by you
[Okay, i admit, i’m flattered.]
me: :) Okay, i'll keep that in mind.
Mamfclfg: stay in touch whnever you would like
me: Okay.
Mamfclfg: tease me now and tell me what you are wearing as we speak....I like mental images
[Do you not take hints, pal? Like, do you need a sledgehammer or something?]
me: I am definitely not in the mood for this.

And gee, it’s been maybe 10 or 20 minutes and no response. No apology or anything. I’m shocked! Shocked am i! *wipes off the sarcasm that has been dripping onto the keyboard*

If i wanted to, i could be such an Internet whore. That’s at least the second older guy who’s wanted to get with me. And to think on Friday i was telling Michele i have only 3 sketchy guys. How foolish of me to only think of real life people.

But seriously, i am just very amused. (Well, with the online, anyway.) I’m not gonna miss the sketch at all when i go back to school, but i don’t really wanna block while i am home.

Okay, bedtime for real.

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